Tonight is Burns Night! Pipe in the haggis!
[Burns]Excellent.[/Burns]
Good night, Gracie!
Yay! To the haggis.
Now to cause a flamewar.
What colour is the turnip which accompanies it?
Oh God. Last year Burns Night involved cheap Scotch. Too much of it. I’m sure Burns would’ve approved … but I would rather not repeat that experience. :: turns green just remembering ::
Today is Burn’s day.
If oor Rabby were around,
He’d hae lots tae say.
“Big, slimy, sleazy,
Crooked beastie: politics
Is low and nasty.”
“O, wad some pow’r
the giftie gie us, tae see
oursel’s as others see us.”
Turnips only come in one color.
A Red, Red Rose
by Robert Burns
O my luve’s like a red, red rose.
That’s newly sprung in June;
O my luve’s like a melodie
That’s sweetly play’d in tune.
As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will love thee still, my Dear,
Till a’the seas gang dry.
Till a’ the seas gang dry, my Dear,
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun:
I will luve thee still, my Dear,
While the sands o’life shall run.
And fare thee weel my only Luve!
And fare thee weel a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho’ it were ten thousand mile!
… and we don’t serve turnips.
Those are neeps!
Us Scots have advanced turnip technology. They come in two colours due to a long-standing confusion about what is a turnip and what is a swede. 
For some reason, my OTC’s Burns’ supper is not until the 9[sup]th[/sup] Feb.
I shall wait until then to celebrate in a suitable manner. But come the ninth, I shall, with a more suitable accent.
Well, we are having neeps and tatties for supper. Only the neeps are actually “rutabagas” according to the bin label at the store. Close enough for the boys I go out with.
No haggis, though. Just leg o’ lamb. And a slice of Dundee cake with sherry for dessert.
My wife picked up Highland Park and I got the 16 year old Lagavulin. Screw the neeps (which are red and white) and tatties.
I’m going to a Burns supper Saturday night (tomorrow). Who cares what’s to eat, when there’s whisky flowing?
Release the hounds!
I’m an idiot, but noticed (in time) that the Burns night I was invited to was tonight, not tomorrow, so I went. I’m back now. Less singing and poetry than previous years, but still good.
I gave the Address to the Haggis about 3 hours ago. [First and last verses only – they’re all that I can remember at short notice, and IMHO manage to get the full point across.]
I was kilted, the “haggis” was grilled top sirloin steak, and the “whisky” was 2000 Merlot from Sonoma county grapes. It wasn’t planned as a Burns Nicht – more an extended family gathering to celebrate proximate birthdays (and Australia Day) – but since I’d reckoned that about 80% of those present have close Scots ancestry, I decided to do it as a surprise. I let the hostess know in advance, changed clothes at an appropriate point, then returned in full Highland finery, gave brief equivalents of the “toast to The Immortal Memory” [i.e of Robert Burns], address to the “Haggis” (2 verses out of 8), and “toast to the Lasses”. Plus birthdays, Australia Day, absent friends, etc.
Total time, about 3 minutes, so it’s not like I hijacked the evening or anything. 
Seemed to go down well…
[Oh, and Happy Australia Day – since it’s been Jan 26th there for several hours – to those that celebrate it!]
My first thought on reading the thread title was “Simpsons marathon involving Mr. Burns centered episodes.”
Turnips, which are referred to as Neeps in Scotland… You know Turneep… Are orange coloured when cooked. A separate root vegetable, which we call Swede, is white in colour. I believe the Irish also name those the same. You go to a scottish shop and ask for a turnip and thats what you get.
In England, its the other way around. Cooked turnip is white, cooked swede is orange. The argument being that the English usually think they must be the correct ones, because there are more of them, or something…
The reality is that its localisation issue, and both items are called something different in each country…
However, it does lead to confusion in England when somewhere cooks Haggis Neeps and Tatties. Because they invariably get it wrong. And then they reach for the spoon full of gravy… ARGH!