Ok, so what happened. After four hours in the ER, on IV and drinking huge amounts of water and taking a riverine piss, and receiving different antibiotics, the kid left for Philly, where his symptoms are going away nicely.
What the Doctor Said:
- Uterine tract infection extremely unlikely in males under 50 with no chronic kidney, prostate, or immuno-deficiency issues.
- Kidney stones extremely unlikely without pain in flank/kidney.
- Original antibiotic from two days before hadn’t done squat. (It wasn’t Amoxycilin, as I wrote above, but something else I forgot.)
Awaiting blood and urine results (probably coming tomorrow), pending diagnosis: clap or chlamydia. Gave him painful (kid said) intramuscular injection of antibiotic directly aimed at gonorrhea and chlamydia. Read a little on CDC site about new therapy.
Ok, questions for the TM after fruitless brief Googling.
Kid never had a drip, and wore rubber, says he always does.
A) Sixty-day latency period for the STDs? Needs to know to whom to spread the good news.
B) Condoms break (not sure which failure modes), but anything big enough to let sperm out can let bugs in. The Doctor said oral sex most likely.
Ok, I’ve now learned that there’s regular old gonorrhea, anal gonorrhea, and pharyngeal gonorrhea, the latter two having obvious symptoms including painful swellings, etc. (Must’ve missed those films.) Clap and chlamydia, the latter especially so, are often asymptomatic until things get really bad.
So, for health knowledge, truly, and to tease my cousin, I tried to consider the permutations. Who went down on whom, including rimming? Can a woman with pharyngeal gonorrhea infect a male with genito-urinary gonnorhea? Similar questions can be asked for other sexual encounters.
The loop where you don’t drink because you don’t want the pain, which gets you dehydrated which causes more pain was definitely implicated.
Also, I was expecting some sort of tinge, but his urine I saw in the sample was the most amazing electric Kool-Aid red-orange.
On payment, one phone call to his Israeli insurance and everything was covered. Hospital–NY Presbyterian–had forms for international patients. 1-2-3.