Burp cough burp cough burp cough!

I am burping to relieve the painful tightness in my lower-chest, this causes a tickly feeling in the throat, eventually I cough to relieve the tickly feeling, which causes a painful tightness in my lower chest.
This cycle has been going on for the last 6 hours, and it is pissing me off!

0/10

More than I expected.

Come on man, you didn’t really put any effort into that!

Go back, have a re-think, and then post the rant that it could have been. Make use of the words “fuck” and “goat”.

Class dismissed.

I am burping to goat relieve the painful tightness in my lower-chest, this causes a tickly feeling in the throat, eventually I cough to relieve the tickly feeling, which causes a painful fuck tightness in my lower chest.
This cycle has been going on for the goat last 6 hours, and it is pissing me fuck off!

Chest goat pain fuck!

There’s this chest-fucking goat pain guy making all goat kinds of fucking chest noises on the pain other side of this wall, and he’s pissing goat chest me off pain!

Hmmm…better. Permit me to attempt a rewrite using appropriately pithy Pit language:

“Fuck this!! I’ve spent the last 6 motherfucking hours burping my ass off to relieve this goddamn tension in my chest. Of course, this causes a fucking tickling in my damn throat which makes me cough like son of a bitch causing that fucking tension in my chest all the fuck over again! Shit!!! This is pissing me right the fuck off!! Arrrrrghhhh!!!”

How’s that?

That’s good, but he’s British so you should’ve used arse.

:smack: You’re right, of course.

Shouldn’t you have included a “bloody” in there somewhere, too?

bloody arse fuck chest goat pain damn shit arrghh!!!

Now capitalize random letters for extra emphasis.

You guys are making me pee my pants!

Lobsang, you’re 4th and 5th posts were the best!

As long as you’re only peeing them…