Just a success that hasn’t happened yet.
When Fran Townsend, President Bush’s Homeland Security advisor was asked about the failure to catch Osama on CNN, her reply was"
Is there really that much of a disconnect to reality in that administration?
Are they going to begin claiming that they have success in ending poverty, acne, and death by natural causes? Could I tell my mother that I am a success that hasn’t occurred yet and put to rest her motherly fears? It’s truthiness.
It might count as a “success that hasn’t occurred yet” –if they were even seriously looking for the bastard! :mad:
I am inundated with financial success that has not occurred yet. Oddly enough, the local tavern on the corner refuses to accept this in lieu of cash. Why do they hate America?
My lack of ability to quit smoking as yet is not a failure on my part. It is simply success that has not yet occurred.
Hell, if it’s good enough for the presidental administration, it’s good enough for me!
You know, that sounds like the kind of bullshit that prosperity theology preaches. Speak it and claim it! If you say something enthusiatically enough, with a pumping fist, then by God it happens!
Thanks to me, everyone on this board will become an atheist ! At some point in the future. Really.
You say that’s unrealistic ? Hey, this is the Bush Era - we make our own reality ! Don’t lounge about in Clintonesque realityism and get with the program !
“A success that hasn’t occured yet.” Brilliant! I’d love to see the video and the expression on Townsend’s face when he said that. Did the audience errupt in laughter? That’s gotta be the funniest thing I’ve heard all month. A success that hasn’t occured yet. I’m not lazy, I just haven’t done all the things I’m going to do yet. I’m not overweight, I just haven’t lost the weight I intend to lose yet.
Contrapuntal: I would like a beer, please.
Barkeep: That will be three dollars, please.
Contrapuntal: 9/11 changed everything.
I wish it had changed the price of beer in a bar back to $3. It’s pretty much $4.50 at any place near where I live. Maybe cheaper at happy hour, but $4.50 (or higher) any other time. It pays to know the bartenders, and to tip well…
This sounds like something my mom would say. She’s all into, “creating your own reality,” a la What the %&@$! Do We Know?.
Find shittier bars. 
There’s a dive a few blocks away from me that charges $1.25 (recently raised from $1.10) for a draft.
But then he’d have to hang out with…well, you know.
LMAO!
Gotta admit, some of these fuckwits can turn a phrase.
I’m not bald like a cueball, it’s just that my hair hasn’t grown back yet!
Circle Talkers R Us
Think of all the wonderful professional applications of this new way of thinking:
DOCTOR: Mrs. Smith, your husband is dead.
MRS. SMITH: Dead? But he was in to have his tonsils out! I’ll sue!
DOCTOR: Did I say dead? No, no. It’s just a resurrection that hasn’t occurred yet.
MRS. SMITH: Oh, that’s alright, then.
JUDGE: Mr. Williams, the jury has found you guilty of armed robbery. I sentence you to ten years in the state penitentiary.
MR. WILLIAMS: What? Ten years?
LAWYER: Don’t worry, it’s just an acquittal that hasn’t happened yet.
PASSENGERS ON A 757: Ahhhh! The wings have fallen off! We’re all gonna die! Ahhhhh!
CAPTAIN (over the loudspeaker): Don’t worry, folks. This isn’t a fiery crash. It’s just a safe landing that hasn’t happened yet.
PASSENGERS: Phew!
It’s easier to find friendly bartenders. 
Oddly enough, the place I’m talking about does have friendly, and even intelligent, bartenders. The one who’s usually on duty spends most of his time playing chess with the regulars. I’m sure that’s an anomaly, but still - such places do exist.
The challenge is finding them (oh, and asking for toilet paper from behind the bar, because they don’t keep it in the bathroom).
Somewhere, Ron Ziegler is smiling.
From The London Times, April 5, 2008: The Iraqi Government is “not dead, it’s just pining for the fjords,” American President George W. Bush said today.
Divers?