Well, he’s got applicable experience. He’s already arranged for lifting many men’s souls into the hereafter.
Has he come up with “I’m the Lifterupper”, yet?
-Joe
He wanted to say “I’m the Quicker Lifterupper” but the gnarled and rotted corpse of Nancy Walker said she’d haunt him until the Judgment Day if he dared besmirch her precious Bounty…
And now I have an indelible image of Bush besmirching Nancy Walker’s “bounty” stuck in front of my mind’s eye. Brain bleach!
Andre the Giant should have been given a role in the Bush White House:
You keep using words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.
This slogan might be adaptable to his next career: tow truck operator.
“My job is to lift men’s cars.”
Well, he is surrounded by stupid tits.
I think he’s supposed to lift women’s dresses.
That was Clinton.
Shoes for industry! Shoes for the dead! Shoes for industry!
Can Bush handle being both the Decider and the Uplifter?Of course he can!
It’s been six years. Shouldn’t he know how to be President by now?
I swear if this guy had been hired by Burger King in 2000, he still be trying to figure out how to work the french fry machine.
“Look, I already told you: hold the pickles, hold the lettuce! If you’re not going to make this burger my way, then I refuse to pay.”
“Too bad… See that note I wrote at the end of your receipt? It says I don’t have to pay any attention to your damn order. My accountability moment’s over. Who’s behind the counter here anyway? I’m the Burger King! I’m the Flame-Broilerer!”
FIresign Theater? Is that you??
He’s no fun – he fell right over.
Well, to be fair to Bush, I don’t know that he’s entirely wrong here. I mean, he can divert federal resources to Kansas from his office, but the modern presidency does seem to have taken on the duties of “Counselor-in-Chief”. Nowadays, when there’s some big tragedy, there seems to be the expectation that the president visit the damaged area and make a speech about it, to lift the spirits of the people suffering and remind them that the rest of the nation is with them.
George Danger - Third Eye?
He seems more like an ‘Odor-Eater’. Now if only we could get him to stop snorting the foot-powder…
If every man, woman, and child bought 180 tickets, that would about do it. It has been a while since I looked up my share of the National Debt, and it is surely higher, now. 
The least he could do is lift our souls. He’s already crushed our spirits.
Oh good lord. You’ve just inspired my next horror short-story. Thank you, a thousand times over! 