Just saw Bush on TV touring the tornado site. He said “my job here is to lift men’s souls”. No, you moron, your job is to make sure that the federal govt puts in place the right resources to recover from the disaster. If you want to be a preacher instead of the President then quit your office.
I know I feel inspired when someone who is on TV a lot and ostensibly is a busy person stops by somewhere near me.
We do have the resources to recover from this tornado.
It’s just that they’re, well, somewhere else right now.
We’ve seen how good he is at THAT job. Maybe he’ll be a better uplifter.
I just had this image of Bush traveling around with one of his aids whose sole job was to make sure that Bush knew what he was suppose to be doing. Bush asks the guy “Am I supposed to do…”, and the guy always responds with “No, you moron…” 
“But not women’s souls. Not sure they even have ‘em. Think the scriptures say sumthin’ about women having a little piece of a soul donated by Adam. It was stuck to the rib. Bein’ small, it should get caught in the updraft of the men’s souls gettin’ uplifted. I’m the uplifter!”
I want that job.
A lottery with a $20 entry fee to do that job should pay off the National Debt.
Heck of an idea.
Is anyone else reminded of President Pullman (whatever his character’s name was) in Independence Day?
*These guys look a little tornado shocked-- hand me the mic. . .
. . .We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!
Err. . why is the Queen of England looking at me like I’m an idiot? Did I say 1776 again?*
These are the times when Bush tries to lift men’s souls.
You’re all spelling soles wrong. The president wants to steal our shoes. 
I was thinking he had misunderstood something Reagan once said and was going to try and lift them up by their own bootstraps.
Perhaps you are reading a bit much into the President’s statement?
“And get those sleeves rolled up more higher or sumpthin’! Look BUSY, dammit!”
Is “lift” the same as “foul”?
But maybe not enough to recover from his presidency.
…Brownie.
Somehow, this makes the Prez sound like a Playtex 18-hour bra.
The aide forgot to tell Bush he shouldn’t make a political speech while greeting someone (Queen Elizabeth) who is not allowed to make political comments.
(I thought about pitting this, decided it wasn’t worth it, but - hell - I’ll throw it in here since it’s connected to Bush opening his yap.)