Business names that sound completely fake

[Lust4Life]

Schindlers Lifts,existed before the movie with a similar title.

[Ellen_Cherry]

No discussion of business names whatsoever is complete without mentioning my hometown’s proud legitimate company, Big Ass Fans.

I have yet to decide if I’m annoyed, amused or both.

[rhythmonly]

There were a couple of businesses that had unique names a few years back. The first one was a muffler shop, called Muff’n’Stuff. Their sign outside proudly acclaimed “No Muff Too Tuff”.

The second was a combination liquor store and poker parlor. It was called Satan’s Spirits. They had t-shirts made that had their name on the front. The back read “Liquor in the Front. Poker in the Rear”.

[vetbridge]

@Cervaise

There is a company here in Seattle that apparently does some sort of electronics manufacturing, named “T & A.” I’m not entirely certain what they do, and I’m not about to find out, because good luck googling "T & A."Why is the turkey humping the G?

You never heard of the G spot?

[ShadowFacts]

@Sapo

Squat & Gobble is ok. Gobble and Squat would be worse.

Priceless!

[John_DiFool]

@fiddlesticks

Fifth Third Bank sounds like a joke name to me. I’m half disappointed the FAQ on their homepage doesn’t explain their name.

Adam’s Mark hotels. I still can’t figure out who Adam and/or Mark are supposed to be.

[Sunspace]

@John DiFool

Adam’s Mark hotels. I still can’t figure out who Adam and/or Mark are supposed to be.

That reminds me. Ruth’s Chris Steakhouses. There are several of these in the Toronto area, I’ve heard that they are expensive but good, but I just cant get past the name. “Ruth’s Chris”?? What does that evwen mean? At least “Adam’s Mark” brings up an image of Adam stamping his mark of approval onto something.

[cher3]

@ZipperJJ

I’ve always thought “Costco” and “Petco” were weird names (and now “ShopKo” too).

Until we got one in our neighborhood, I always assumed Petco was the boring, bland, warehouse version of Petsmart, because Petsmart put a lot of thought into their name and Petco did not. Turns out they’re basically the same store.

My favorite around here is “Squidco”.

It’s a bait shop.

[WhyNot]

@Sunspace

That reminds me. Ruth’s Chris Steakhouses. There are several of these in the Toronto area, I’ve heard that they are expensive but good, but I just cant get past the name. “Ruth’s Chris”?? What does that evwen mean? At least “Adam’s Mark” brings up an image of Adam stamping his mark of approval onto something.

It means a chick named Ruth bought a successful local restaurant which had been named “Chris Steakhouse” for a long time and didn’t want to change the name too much. So she added her own name to the front. It’s somewhere on her website.

Now, tell me why Chris didn’t name his steakhouse “Chris’ Steakhouse”? Trying to save on neon?

[lisacurl]

The Master speaks on Fifth Third Bank.

[Spoons]

@Sunspace

At least “Adam’s Mark” brings up an image of Adam stamping his mark of approval onto something.

I’ve stayed at an Adam’s Mark. If Adam’s mark of approval looks like the way a first-grader might try to paint a star, then that’s his mark of approval. The name was odd and so was the logo. And as things turned out, so were their accounting methods. But that’s a discussion that’s not really for this thread.

[Scuba_Ben]

@John DiFool

Adam’s Mark hotels. I still can’t figure out who Adam and/or Mark are supposed to be.

I once knew someone who worked at one of the Adam’s Mark hotels. I think Adam was the founder; the mark was (as I vaguely remember) an interesting cloud formation that he saw which inspired the logo.

[Sunspace]

@WhyNot

It means a chick named Ruth bought a successful local restaurant which had been named “Chris Steakhouse” for a long time and didn’t want to change the name too much. So she added her own name to the front. It’s somewhere on her website.

Okay, that makes sense.

@WhyNot

Now, tell me why Chris didn’t name his steakhouse “Chris’ Steakhouse”? Trying to save on neon?

Apostrophobia?

[Elret]

@Rick

Makers of high end electrical /electronic test equipment. Fluke. I always thought they should use the following as an ad line: If you get the right reading it’s a Fluke. :eek:

If it’s on time, it’s a Fluke.

[DustyButt]

In DC there’s a kitchen remodeling company called…

Counterintelligence

They have trucks that trundle around town with their name plastered across the side. It’s always good for a smile.

[GuanoLad]

@WhyNot

Now, tell me why Chris didn’t name his steakhouse “Chris’ Steakhouse”? Trying to save on neon?

Two reasons. One, that’s incorrect grammar. It ought to be “Chris’s Steakhouse” because his name is not a plural.

The other reason may be because his name could actually have been “Chris Steakhouse” and he went into a predestined line of business.

[Reno_Nevada]

@Joey P

There’s one in downtown Milwaukee that I’m absolutly convinced is hiding something, but all it says is “International Imports.”

I assume that you do not know what that business is…you have *got * to go into that building. Report back.

And, since I did mean to add something apropos–“El Paso Gas.”

[WhyNot]

@GuanoLad

Two reasons. One, that’s incorrect grammar. It ought to be “Chris’s Steakhouse” because his name is not a plural.

If a word ends in an “s”, plural or not, proper grammar for the possesive is an apostrophe after the “s”. Newer writing rules also allow for the “-s’s” construction, but it’s new fangled hedonism and was never allowed during the stone age when I was taught writing (the '80s).

It’s in Eats, Shoots & Leaves, but I don’t have my copy with me to check the page number.

Cite 2:

Singular possessive
The possessive form of a singular noun is an apostrophe followed by the letter “s.”

Kramer’s hair
Daphne’s patience
the car’s engine

Words ending with s, z or x generally omit the “s.”

Dr. Seuss’ sense of humor

Cite 3, although IME their “exceptions” are what I was taught as rule:

While grammar books and style guides don’t necessarily agree on how to determine these exceptions, most consider a word’s pronunciation. Here is what a few of the books say:

* If pronunciation would be awkward with the added -'s, some writers use only the apostrophe. Either use is acceptable. (Diana Hacker, A Writer's Reference)
* Exceptions are the possessives of ancient proper names in -es and -is [such as Achilles' and Isis'], the possessive Jesus', and such forms as for conscience' sake, for righteousness' sake. (Strunk and White, The Elements of Style)
* With some singular nouns that end in -s, pronouncing the possessive ending as a separate syllable can sound awkward; in such cases, it is acceptable to use just an apostrophe. (Kirszner & Mandell, The Brief Holt Handbook)
* Since writers vary in the use of the apostrophe, it is not possible to make a hard and fast rule about the apostrophe in singular words ending in s.… Punctuate according to pronunciation. (John E. Warriner, English Grammar and Composition)

My maiden name ended in an “s”, so I was frequently reminded of this rule growing up.

[StuffLikeThatThere]

McJunken Appalachian

Real business, and no, I don’t know what they sell.

[Merkwurdigliebe]

@An Arky

Here’s a list of supposed Front Companies for the CIA. It reads like a Who’s Who of Business Names That Sound Completely Fake…

CIA Front Companies

Just a few funny ones I’ve noticed…
Audio Intelligence Devices, Inc
Coastal Products
Crest Detective Agency
Cryogenics, Inc
Energy Resources
Functional Devices, Inc
Fund For Peace
Global Financial
Impossible Electronic Techniques
Intercontinental Industries
Vector, Ltd
Venture Fund