Least Appropriate Store Names

In My Humble Opinion
1

Yesterday I made the long drive out to Western Carolina University, and on the way back I was talking to myself (as I like to do on long car rides–when suddenly I interrupted myself and shouted, “Jesus!” and burst out laughing. I’d just passed an ice cream parlor called:

JACK THE DIPPER

It doesn’t help that I’ve recently read From Hell, a graphic-novel account of the JtR murders.

A long time ago, my boss got back from a road trip through rural NC, weak with laughter; when she could finally talk, she told me she’d passed a strip mall called

CUM PARK PLAZA

with an ice-cream-parlor/video store in it called

LICKS AND FLICKS

What other ludicrous store names have you encountered? Bonus points if they’re about ice cream.

Daniel

2

Kum & Go - there’s a chain of gas stations with that name, and I cringe every time I see it.

For Christmas, my sister-in-law in Florida sent my brother-in-law a hat for a shop called “Master Bait and Tackle.” Got a lot of chuckles when he read that one out loud!

Ice cream? I got nothin’. No bonus points for me, today.

3

I’ve always thought In-N-Out was one of the most inappropriate store names I’d ever seen. But what with the above posts, I know it has been topped!

Hey, they sell shakes. Do I qualify for the bonus points?

4

Shakes? Sure! Bonus points!

I’m trying to remember the name of a heavy equipment manufacturer out west that always made me do schoolboy-giggles. Onan-Cummings, maybe?

Daniel

5

There used to be a Hooker’s Hot Dogs in Barrington, IL, right next to the Volvo dealer.

6

Cummings-Allison?

7

Down around in Oklahoma and Texas they have these gas stations called “Loaf and Jug”. For one, that doesn’t even make sense. Also, even if it did make sense, it would still be a rediculous name.

8

No, the Onan part was definitely in it–I remember being all literati-smug while giggling like a second-grader.

Daniel

9

Somewhere on the backroads between Eureka Springs, AR and Branson, MO there is a seafood restaurant named “The Bearded Clam”. Being the sheltered, innocent maid I am, Stonebow had to explain what it meant. :eek:

Scroll down and you can see their slogan…
The Bearded Clam - Lounge and Eatery
:eek: again!

10

There’s a surplus/grocery/whatever store in San Jose called New Dick’s.

11

Bunghole Liquors on the Northshore in MA (I think it was in Peabody or Salem). Yeah, I know what a bunghole originally meant but it was still awful. It looked like a really, really old store, though, which I guess excused their awful choice in name.

12

Left Hand Of Dorkness: It’s definitely Onan-Cummings.

Then there’s Badcock Furniture in Georgia.

13

Butte Therapy delivers oxygen tanks in Stockton.

OK Monuments sells near our cemetary.

14

Bunghole Liquor Store, Peabody MA

15

of course it makes sense. It’s where you go to get a ** loaf ** of bread and a ** jug ** of milk.

Still a weird name.

16

In Fruitland, Idaho there is a bowling alley called the Gay Way Bowl-O-Rama. When I saw it in 1976, the building was painted pink.

17

Cum Park Plaza? That would be Burlington, I believe - I live no more than 30 minutes from there, and used to pass it on a regular basis.

Dick’s Crab Shack, at the beach, is not-so-appropriate, but considering they did it for that reason it ain’t that bad… or funny.

18

“House of Discipline”. I was riding my bicycle along the main boulevard, and saw it. I stopped so hard (I wanted to look inside for… reasons.) that I almost got thrown over the handlebars because I thought it was…y’know.

It was a martial arts school.
Stupid House of Discipline.

19

Lose the G, people. Cummins is the diesel engine manufacturer associated with Onan.

20

Back in Buffalo, “Amigone” and “Bury” are both names of funeral homes.