I’m going away for a well deserved holiday for 2 weeks, so dont get worried if you dont hear from me.
until next time,
Take care of yourselves, and each other. Cue music
*cut to clips of 3 slack jawed yokels shouting
“Yo, John, Your the coolest! We came all the way from Scranton to read your posts! Peace out!”
followed by some 43-y/o woman spelling out “J-O-H-N-!” like she’s still in Jr. High
Scientists have finally discovered the source of the mysterious “windy” sound that had been reported by residents all over the city.
“Spooked the bloody 'ell out of me, it did”, said one witness.
Professor O’Grady made the final report: “It seems that the wind sound was caused by several thousand rodents in the area sighing with relief.” At this point we can only theorize for why the rodents would be relieved. Animal behavior experts are being flown in, and hopefully, we’ll solve this enigma in due time."
Yo yo Johnny, ‘sup? I came all da way from da lowa east side to read dis post man. But now I gots to axe you: wassup wid da holiday man? You be gettin’ down wid dem Irish ladies man? You be drinkin’ a shitload of badass Guinness now?
And to da transsexual goatsquicking satan worshipper on the left: you shouldnt be messin’ round with yo sista. Das just naaaasty man. Take da queer to yo right, he seems like da type o’man for ya!
Sup? Dont YOU tell my ass to sit down, beeyatch! C’mon, c’mere, I’m’na bust yo ass to next toosday!
Damned if all that buzz about American pop culture infesting the world isn’t true. When a bona fide Dutchman can zing a line of patter like that, without a missed note, it’s damned scary.
Have a blast, John! Enjoy your vacation and rest content that while your gone, numerous imposter-trolls will post under your name and Dopers will huffily wonder what we ever saw in you anyway.
–>assume winking smiley here<–
Of course sending postcards, chocolates, liquor, etc. to us “folks back home” would be okay too.
Ya lazy mick bastard, where the hell do you think YOU’RE going, Paddy?
No, really, people get to take TWO, WHOLE, CONSECUTIVE WEEKS VACATION in Ireland? You don’t even have to check your voicemail and call in to see if any customer is REALLY pissed at you or anything?
Galway? You call that a vacation? Spain is a vacation. Galway is only another country to part of the population. And it’s chock full of Irish people, though I suppose Spain is, too. But they at least have topless beaches in Spain.
How did you get sunburnt there? From sitting too long under a neon Guinness sign in a pub? From the glory of your brilliant conversation reflecting off your audience? Did you spread too much of that self-tanning glop in a sad attempt to convince the folks back home you vacationed in Spain?