I know this is one of the most controversial topics here on this board, thought I’d ask if you all thought I was an asshole or not.
When I lived in the US I tended to shy away from tipping places just because I hated the whole judging aspect and social uncertainty of it, I really hate being in an ambiguous situation where someone is going to get angry if I do the wrong thing and it doesn’t contribute to my mental calm. I only went on special occasions or if I wanted to try a place etc. I also got annoyed by kiss butt waiters introducing themselves and chatting and always asking if they could get anything, I liked a quiet anonymous dining experience with no interaction.
I used to go to Lubys cafeteria a lot, in this place you go through a line and choose your meal and your drink and then at the end a cashier would tally your tray and give you a ticket and then seat yourself at a table. if you wanted a refill of your drink you could either wait for a lone server to come along who pushed a cart of pitchers in a loop around the place or just go refill it yourself. Then when done there was a register before the exit where you gave your ticket and paid the bill before leaving.
Then sometime in 2008 they had a new system, you still got your own food but they now had waiters and you were supposed to stand after the line and wait to be seated and printed a suggested gratuity on your ticket. They removed the damn silverware from the line, and if you asked for it they would say your waiter will bring it to the table for you.:smack: Also they removed the cash register by the exit, you now had to pay your ticket at your table through the waiter. The drink cart was also gone, the waiters handled that.
I was annoyed at this pretty bad, it didn’t help the first time I went with this new system was with my family and the waiter an older gentleman wouldn’t leave us alone actually spending many minutes introducing himself and giving us a spiel about how he got fired from his career and was only there because he was desperate for money and really depended on tips and how the restaurant only paid him below minimum wage and he had kids who were in college on and on. I really felt to say I am sympathetic but your financial situation is not my concern and I want to eat but didn’t, one of my party did eventually say we would like to eat please. He also made sure to bug us at the end to turn over the table, I used to love eating and reading in quiet with no pestering to move. I did not pay that check.
When I’d go back alone I’d insist on being given silverware before going to my table, I refused to wait like a fool for minutes and instead would find a seat myself(I hated being seated in loud areas with lots of people, I LIKED being able to pick my own seat in a quiet lonely area). When the waiter came I’d say I won’t be needing anything thank you. When done I’d bus my own tray and go to the station and pay my own check. Eventually I tapered off my visits because I got sick of it.
I found it ridiculous to pay a 15% gratuity for nothing, and was annoyed the place did things like hide the silverware to force you to interact with a waiter. If they wanted that I felt they should have removed the cafeteria thing altogether. I was mostly annoyed one of the few places fancier than fast food I liked switched to an annoying half way model, it felt like I lost a refuge I could go to.
If you’re talking Trinidad, they’re paid minimum wage plus a portion of the service charge that is added in many places. As such, we don’t always leave tips, and when we do, it is less than what I would leave in the US, unless it is truly nice service (rare in Trinidad).
For the cafeteria you describe, I don’t understand exactly why they changed the system. Perhaps somehow that made it more compliant with health regulations? Or made the place look more upscale than what it was?
Nobody asks for tips at Starbucks. There’s a jar you can use if you want to. I only visit rarely so I don’t usually bother. I eat at Luby’s in Houston. It’s strictly a cafeteria. No tipping.
However, I do eat & drink at establishments where tipping is expected. No difficulties there.
If you dislike the new system so much, eat elsewhere.
When I encounter tip jars, I ignore them. Our favorite weekend breakfast stop has a jar that reads “Tips for Cooks” - I don’t know whose idea that was but I don’t think I’ve ever seen any money in it. Now, if they added a line on the credit card receipt for another tip, I’d consider that nervy, and I’d continue to ignore it.
The Tip Entitlement mindset drives me crazy in general, but I do my best not to permit it to give me ulcers.
The thing that bugs me is when the tip jar is right next to the trash jar. I’ve seen this at a store front cookie place and a store front ice cream place, and at least once I accidentally dropped the change I’d wanted to give as a tip into the trash jar! (It was empty, but probably not clean.) I apologized, and they were nice about it, but I was embarrassed.
There is no controversy! Unless you don’t understand the word ‘suggested’.
Tipping is NOT required. If you feel they don’t deserve it, don’t tip. If it offends your sensibility because of the change in service, don’t tip. If you on moral grounds disagree with tipping in principal, don’t tip. If you hate all things tipping, in every manifestation, don’t tip.
But do everybody, servers, spouses, other patrons, table mates a HUGE favour and keep your needs, opinions, views, rationalizations to your own self! We’ve all heard it before, ad nauseum!
We get it, you don’t like tipping. So DONT tip! See how easy that was? No mess, no fuss. The sky will not fall, your meal will still come and you can still dine anywhere you wish.
The people working for tips, I can assure you, really, REALLY, don’t care. Why? Because it’s a numbers game. Non tippers are, and always will be, in the minority. By a very large margin.
So relax! And just DON’T Tip if you’re not feeling it.
Sometimes I want things simple, I don’t really need a waiter/waitress most of the time, I am more the capable of selecting my own table, getting my own silverware, refilling my drinks and even picking up my food, hell I can even cook my own food - though I can understand why they typically don’t allow that. Actually the biggest thing I like about eating out is I don’t have to clean up after.
In that I like really the former model, the refill cart person is a very nice addition, value added service I would be happy about. But it is the model of common sense simplicity. It’s easy on the mind.
The changes they have made change the dynamics back towards the parts that really don’t make much sense with servers, having people do for you what you can easily do, adding another level of complication which sometimes I go to such a former place that this was to get away from.
I don’t know if it would annoy me, perhaps the first time I went and got something other then what I was expecting, however it would not after as I most likely would not go back. Not out of spite, just that it seems that middle model is to me least desirable.
