Uh…hi?
::waving::
I’d have written sooner, but, uh…
I spent the day at the ER.
See, it’s like this:
I slept late, enjoying the relative quiet. Got up with only a mildly blinding headache, and reallyreallyreally hungry. This being Sunday, I figgered a large breakfast was in order. So I went downstairs and apparently made up a huge pan full of thick fried bacon, 'tillas, eggs, muffins and um…already said eggs, right? I say “apparently” because that’s what the wife tells me and I can see the large bacon-makin pan on the stove right now.
About an hour after we finished eating, I said “dang I feel full”, at which point the Wife says she’s not surprised after a breakfast like that.
::insert blank stare::
“So, yeah it was a big breakfast, you’re right…”
She just stared and decided anyone that was hazy on what he just made and ate, needed medical attention. That, plus my head was throbbing again.
Long story short, the ER doc was as concerned that I didn’t have a clear recollection of why/how/exactly when I fell as she was about the, uh whatdyacallit… - oh yeah - memory loss.

She did the whole guacamole on me. CT scan of my noggin, chest x-ray, took about 6 lbs of blood from me, I peed in a cup and danced the hoochie-coochie on one foot while reciting the Gettysburg Address.
ALL my blood tests were fantabulous (even the glucose which she attributed to being a tad high on the Slaughtered Pig Breakfast I had eaten), my CT scan shows a normal brain (shut it. shut it right now rigs, I know what you’re thinking), my chest x-ray made Courtney the Gurney Pushing Cutie swoon with lustful delight, and that guy with the funny english accent on that dancing show where all the women don’t wear dresses really said I hoochie-coochie even better than Emmitt Smith.
Ok, so yeah, that’s a mixed bag of news in her opinion. On one hand, I’m a ridiculously healthy specimen of 46 year old masculinity. (Courtney’s probably telling all her friends right now and picking china patterns) On the other hand, I suffered what is probably a grade 1 maybe 2 concussion. Probably less serious than more serious, but no doubt it was that. My eyeballs look just a BIT not even, which I learned is what they call A Clue - and - there’s the memory issues and the blinding headache. (typing hurts my ears)
Not to mention that she’s not utterly buying the “slipped on a wet floor” story, which she even made me doubt by asking me questions about things happening right before I fell, to which I had no real solid answers.
So, I left with a prescription for Darvocet and the name of a neurologist to call in the morning. The neighbors and the Wife are gathering across the street to watch the Bears game, I believe I’ll sit right here with my drugs and the sound turned down several notches - catching up on the Sunday paper I missed reading today, and nibbling on leftover roasted chicken.
Thank you ALL for caring enough to bug me about this, and for missing me. I’d blush but I have a feeling the act of blushing would be a bit loud for me right now.