Easy: Get rid of the bastard or find another place to live our your personal tragedy.
Don’t know anything about your posting history, so waiting to find out if you’re being serious or not before responding.
Unfortunately this is common in lower rent areas. Every place I’ve lived at for the last ten years has had a clause in the lease stating that if anyone on the lease is arrested for domestic abuse, it is grounds for eviction.
I am serious. She refused to call the police about being violently assaulted because she feared being evicted. That’s fucking stupid.
GOD DAMN IT, GET OUT OF THAT SITUATION!
Call the motherfucking police and press charges. Move out or throw him out. Worst case, call the police until you get evicted and then use that as an excuse to move somewhere without the bastard. Do something.
Look, I know from personal experience how hard it is to get out of an abusive situation. I was violently assaulted by my (now ex) wife on any number of occasions. I stupidly tried to fix the situation and it didn’t fucking work. It never works. You don’t fix people who are violent in relationships. You can only get the fuck out and let them worry about fixing their own stupid violent asses.
As for the Police and the Landlords? NO ONE wants this kind of shit happening in their town or building or next door. Their neighbors don’t want to be a part of it. Don’t make them out to be the villains because a law was put into effect to get rid of repeat offenders.
Town I used to live in (with thousands of apartments in the city) instituted a law that the third call to an apartment within a year could result in revocation of the Management Company’s license to operate in the city. Given that the management companies usually had hundreds if not thousands of apartments under license, they tended not to want to lose that business due to one stupid shit.
So, first call, your landlord would straight out tell you that your lease would be terminated and you would be evicted on the second call. Simple as that.
It’s easy to say “Get out of that situation” if you assume they have somewhere to go or some means of supporting themselves, which is not always the case. But you know that. It’s also easy to judge people for behavior you once exhibited but have grown beyond, but empathy is usually the more human reaction.
Landlord here, and I would have done it, law or no law. I had an issue where the cops came 2X on the same tenants. Loud physical domestic incidents. I clearly warned them, verbally and in writing, that if it happened again, they were out. That said, I would like to know some background on the complaints. For example, my tenants were drinking heavily, and got into an alcohol fueled argument both times. She said, he said, he pushed me, she threw something at me. Cops confirmed that both were very intoxicated when they arrived. Sorry, that’s not happening on my property; the other tenants have a right to quiet enjoyment of their homes which does not include red flashing lights in their back yards.
Interesting. I’ll just write myself a note to not get robbed until I have a mortgage, then.
That landlord is a dick. A good businessman, maybe, but still a dick.
within a few months of moving to Little Rock I called the police because my car had been broken into, about a week later there was a brawl in my front yard involving a dozen teens and not too many weeks afterwards I called 911 because someone started firing a gun uncomfortably close to my house. If this law existed in Arkansas would it provide my landlord with a means to evict me from my home?
I’m kinda with **Chimera **on this one. I had those neighbors living under me for 8 months. I called the police on them twice and I’m pretty sure other neighbors did the same at times I wasn’t home. Fuck those people. I don’t need to hear you screaming at each other at three in the morning and neither does anyone else, it’s a 60-unit courtyard building and everybody can hear everything when windows are open.
I was very proactive about making sure management knew when the cops were called. While they weren’t evicted, they were told they had to leave at the end of the lease. Simple as that. We’re not friends. You’re bothering everyfuckingbody, GTFO.
Were you causing a domestic disturbance that was originating inside your home?
No.
You’ve read the law then? If you could provide me with a link that would be super.
Be sure to avoid having a stalker ex or crazy relative who keeps showing up at your house and makes a huge scene when they aren’t let in. It’s bad enough when people loose their jobs over stuff like this.
That’s not quite what’s going on. There seems to be a local ordinance that penalizes landlords who don’t evict tenants who get the police called to the property. That’s more extreme than a clause in the lease allowing the landlord to do so.
**Odesio, **I’m not about to dig around far enough to find if this municipality has their ordinances online. Here’s an ACLU article that clarifies it a little better. But seriously, it’s a nuisance law. You did not cause a nuisance issue with your neighbors or cause the police to have to knock on your door to stop a disturbance within your home, did you?
I live above these people (not literally, but another domestic violence loving couple) now, and I agree with the landlord’s actions while at the same time having sympathy for the evicted.
*Especially *if alcohol was involved. Which it is in perhaps 87% of domestic disputes.
While they’re in the middle of it, I’m anxious, I’m angry, I’m terrified. I’m trying to do everything I can to diffuse the situation and make it safe - not just for them, but for my kids who hear the things they’re screaming at each other and the crashes and bangings of things breaking and see people bleeding and for my husband, who has PTSD and his own share of survivor guilt from a childhood in which his parents did the same thing, not to mention 40 years as a paramedic responding to some truly ugly and tragic domestic calls. But I’m also very sympathetic that what we have here is a couple of damaged, frightened people who don’t know how to better communicate with one another than through hurting each other. I want to help.
Then when they’re sober again and they do absolutely nothing to change their situations, I’m just frustrated and feel hopeless that anything will change.
Why should* I* be feeling angry, scared, frustrated and hopeless in my own home, over a relationship I have absolutely no stake in and no way to fix?
I feel about their shenanigans much the same way I feel about a drunk driver. At some point, they were sober and bought a new bottle of booze. They know that drinking turns them into disturbing-MY-peace monsters. And yet they, completely sober, open the bottle and start drinking.That’s what I judge them (harshly) for, and that’s what deserves eviction when other methods of intervention have been declined by the abused. And if the police have been called, at least two interventions (“you leave or she leaves, buddy”) have been offered. If the police have been called more than once, than additional interventions have been offered and declined (“there’s a shelterdowntown, would you like a ride?”, “would you like to press charges?”, etc.) The articles say that this was her apartment and her ex boyfriend, yet no mention of an order of protection (restraining order) or other sign that the woman tried in any way to attend to the situation through peaceful means.
Whatever the trigger is, alcohol or otherwise, there are moments when you’re not being triggered. There are moments in most abusive relationships where everyone is sober and safe and could take action, and doesn’t. There’s a moment when you could leave, and choose not to, or a moment when he rings the doorbell, and you choose to let him back in.
The woman in the OP is renting another apartment. So no, she didn’t “not have anywhere to go.” When the issue was pressed via eviction, she found another place to go. People *very *rarely literally “don’t have anywhere to go.” They have excuses and denial and fear, and value their status quo over the well being of their friends and neighbors …nevermind each other.
Get a restraining order or get over it. If you are the kind of person who seems to magically attract victimizers, drama queens, and psychotics, you should notice that the common denominator is you.
** Chimera** and Condecending Robot, you’re assholes. Domestic Violence victims can’t just get over it without help and get a restraining order. The pattern of abuse can make even those without fiscal limitations and with good support systems not able to do this. But add in kids, money issues and fear of violent reprisal makes leaving or seeking help even more difficult.
Yes, friends, family and acquaintances get damned tired of the victim not leaving the situation. I can see it being frustrating to them as well as making neighbors and landlords pissed.
My cite is being a victim in my early 20s and my pro bono work helping the abused get protective orders. So many of them start out strong and then drop it because the SO promised they would stop or because they were terrified about money and housing.
Restraining orders aren’t self-enforcing. What happens when the guy comes over anyway? To enforce the order, you have to call the cops. But wait…