Calling all clefties

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was born with a cleft lip. A particularly icky one, might I add – bilateral complete, through the skull, with jaw and sinus involvement. So I’ve had tons of craniofacial surgery, high school was a horror show, blah blah blah.

Here’s the question. According to some of the cleftie websites, one in 750 people is a cleftie. BUT I NEVER RUN INTO MY PEOPLE. Really. Where are they?

Are YOU one? Do you date one? Do you work with one? Did you give birth to one? Did you have one sitting next to you at school? Check your closets. Check under your bed. Find me a fellow cleftie.

2

I’m not one, but I would like to welcome you to the SDMB.

With a wonderful sense of humor like yours, you’ll fit right in, whether you’re a cleftie, a leftie or :eek: a libertarian! :wink:

I’m Quasi (extends hand). Nice to meet you, MercyStreet!

Q

3

I had a boss about 20 years ago who was a cleftie – does that count?

Welcome, MercyStreet!

4

MercyStreet, after wiping midday-banana snack residue on jeans, extends a clean hand and shakes.
“Swell to meet you, Quas,” she says. “Now go check your closets, 'kay?”

5

Twickster! Was your boss a palate, a lip, or both? Tell me everything!

When I was little I wanted to solve the whole problem by growing a mustache. Kind of tough for a girlie. Sigh.

6

She was a lip, I think (I never asked, you know how that whole politeness thing works) – it was just clear to look at her that her upper lip had been repaired.

She was director of nursing at a long-term-care facility for physically disabled adults, and I was her secretary for about six months – this was when I was in grad school, and I quit when it became clear I wasn’t going to finish my dissertation otherwise. (I worked there part-time all five years I was in grad school.)

Hope you weren’t expecting some really interesting story, here.

7

Zowie, Twickster. So it seems at least one other big ol’ cleftie is on the loose.

At work, sometimes I wonder whether the facially challenged count as minority hires. If “minority hires” exist, that is. Snort.

For anyone wondering, “cleft-affected” is formerly known as (wince) “harelip.” Sigh.

8

I had a platonic roommate who was born with, I presume, a cleft lip and palate (there was a certain tone to his speech that makes me think it was more than just his lip). He was a great guy (although he could get wild after a few beers). He was a pharmacist and dated really great women.

9

I went to grade school with a girl, and high school with a boy who both were “clefties”.
I’m also in lust with Jauquin (sp) Phoenix, who has a cleft lip.

10

There was a guy in my dorm at college who had a cleft upper lip as well. I can’t offer much more information, just that he’d clearly had some sort of (fairly successful) surgery. I wish I could remember his name. All I can remember is that he was Canadian and lots of fun to drink with.

11

Cleft lip and palate signing in from the Great White North.

I had a good surgeon as a baby and had some good repair work done (thank you Dr. Woolhouse and the Royal Vic in Montreal). No speech impediment and just a weird U-shaped scar on my upper lip - I always thought it made me look like a bull with a ring in his nose.

I had many revisions to the surgery as a child, trying to close a hole in my palate. They kept promising to do some work on my schnozz (it’s big and stubby; needs a sharper point) but every time I woke up they had done another palate revision instead.

As an adult, the only effects (other than the obvious scars) are some seriously screwed up sinuses and dental work. I tried growing a Magnum PI-esque mustache to hide the upper lip, but I looked like a weasel. I have tried a full beard, which makes me somewhat less self-conscious.

Incidentally, I’m also a leftie - a cleftie leftie! (but politically conservative - a Republican cleftie leftie).

12

I hope you don’t mind, but I have been following this thread because of the enormous amount of courage you must possess.

One of the male RN’S I work with is as you say, “cleft-affected”. He is such a wonderful person, and like you, has such a great sense of humor, that those of us who have known him do not see him as being facially challenged.

Now you may answer back, “Yeah Quasi, ol’ Dude, but you work in the health field and y’all have been conditioned to ignore handicaps!”

And to a certain degree, I would have to say you are correct, we have. But sometimes a person enters your life and is such a bright light, that even if they have a handicap, you get such joy out of seeing that person every day and watching that person do their job so efficiently, that that handicap becomes so minimal as to be ignored completely.

The person I describe is a young man, with a beautiful wife and child, and we consider him one of our best nurses. Not a minority hire, simply a person who does his job very well, and I am happy to know him and am proud to work with him.

This is a great introductory post, IMHO, not just because of the title itself, but because we all have our own handicaps.

Some of us don’t wear them as well as you do, however: I salute you and am happy to know you. Now, can I have some of that banana pudding or what? :D:

Q

13

And if I may, let us not forget some of our great actors who are clefties.

Jason Robards… Y’alls turn!

[Incidentally, I’m also a leftie - a cleftie leftie! (but politically conservative - a Republican cleftie leftie).]
I am dying of terminal laughter here, burntsand! :smiley:

Quasi

14

Burntsand, do you happen to be a beer-swilling pharmacist and onetime Canadian dorm-mate of an individual named Jackelope?

Mith, right on with the Joaquin appreciation. I love that man, even if he won’t acknowledge his cleftieness. And how about Ralph Fiennes as big ol’ Mr. Mean Cleftie in “Red Dragon”? Granted, he had the repugnant habit of eating humans. But the flash of his cute bottom rather outweighed flesh-eating. … Speaking of which, I happen to be eating a roasted pepper that bears an unnerving resemblance to a human organ.

15

Shucks, Quasi. I’m doing OK now. Now that the SSRI class of drugs has taken over my synapses, that is.

In recent years a book called “Autobiography of a Face,” by Lucy Grealy, has been added to high school curricula. Lucy chronicled a nearly lifelong struggle with Ewing’s sarcoma and the resulting reconstructions of her face. Her work – and later, her book tour – made me weep. Here was someone speaking out for those of us who either can’t or won’t or don’t leave the house without spackling our scars; who avoid children for fear of answering their brutal questions or meeting their rude stares; who still run in to adults who ask, “So what happened to your face?”

After the book was published, Lucy grew addicted to heroin. She died after overdosing in December. The circumstances of her death make me wonder whether her book will stay on high school reading lists. Somehow I doubt it.

16

Humm - A lady that works at the bookstore at my University is a clefty, the son of one of my employers is a clefty, I went to Jr. high with a clefty, and I used to work with a woman who was a clefty.

The woman I worked with was by far the most profoundly “cleftish” if that’s a word. Her scars start on her lip and extend all the way up to her nose. One entire side of her nose is affected. However, her speach isn’t affected (at least not very profoundly) and she beats men off with a stick - scar or no scar, she’s still a fox.

17

high school classmate, exfiance’s father. i have noticed cleftie scars on various people that i meet at stores, counters, restaurants, etc.

18

Mike Hammer and Papa Titus himself: Stacy Keach.

I have a dim recollection that there was an actor in the 60s, who starred in one of those one-name detective shows (like Mannix, Kojak, etc) who had a cleft lip - James Franciscus, maybe?

I’ve also read that the beautiful Mary Crosby has a cleft lip.

19

I go to school with someone that (I’m fairly sure) is a cleftie. And I know for a fact that one of my elementary school friends was (cleft palate only–no lip action).

20

Beer-swilling? Check.
Former dorm resident? Check.
Canadian? Check.
Jackelope? Don’t think so. Basselope maybe.
Pharmacist? Sadly not, or I could afford a better car.