Calling Those Who Cover The Gray

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’ll admit it: I’m an idiot when it comes to hair. I’m maybe 35-40% gray, and my natural color (which was light/medium brown with auburn highlights) has morphed into very very very DARK brown-almost-black. The last time I had it colored the stylist insisted I keep it closer to the very very very DARK brown rather than lightening it because the latter would have required “stripping” because it’s now so dark.

I don’t want to cover the gray with the very very very DARK brown. For one, it looks horrible with my complexion and makes my already deep-set eyes look more skeletal. I thought about trying maybe an auburn off the shelf, but I have nightmares I’ll look like an Irish setter like I did during the first and only time I’ve tried at-home coloring. I’ve been told highlighting won’t work because of the very very very DARK brown (this was from a student stylist).

So…those of you who color, what would you suggest? Should I just grab something off the shelf? If so, which brand? Should I just save my money until I can afford a professional colorist? I don’t know!!!

2

An Irish Setter is a beautiful dog, especially because of the color. They are often what I’d call a deep auburn. If you want to avoid looking this good, that’s your business… Choose a medium brown with less red, maybe a shade lighter than your darker hair.

3

I reccomend you try henna. The henna will ONLY cover the gray, with reddish-auburn highlights. My hair is very dark brown, almost black. The henna is great.

4

i can’t say for sure than even a permanent-dye, off-the-shelf color will hold. those products are missing whatever it is that makes the dye stick to the gray. gray is notoriously hard to cover. never found one that worked on me.

i’m approximately 90 percent gray underneath the blonde i sport today, and have been graying since my 20s (i’m now 57). i started out with blue-black hair as a child, and then it gradually began to lighten until the gray started coming in.

now, i HAVE had my hair stripped. it was to get an unfortunate dye job (red) out after an acting gig so i could go back to my regular color. my hair tolerated it fine, but i have uber-thick, naturally-curly hair that probably would withstand a nuclear detonation.

don’t know if hair type makes a difference or not. that’s to ask a professional hairdresser. i vote you save up the bucks and get your hair done professionally. in the long run, you’ll be happier with whatever result you’re going for.

5

We guys can opt out easy … I don’t cover my grey, I buzz the whole damn thing off! :slight_smile:

6

It is a gorgeous color, but my complexion isn’t fair enough to carry it off well. I also have very dark eyebrows, so the effect, to me, looked a bit freakish too.

I’ve been told in the past that an ash brown would work well, but yeeech…ash…

7

A couple of people suggested henna to me too :slight_smile: I did it a few times when I was at university, and it was almost like you couldn’t tell I did it unless you got me in the sunlight or under a strong indoor light. Maybe it’d come out lighter now because of the gray?

8

I’ve got impossibly baby fine hair that’s thinned out thanks to my no-thyroid issues :stuck_out_tongue: And that’s interesting that you had dark hair as a kid: I was a towhead blonde with red highlights when I was that age!

Yeah, I’m afraid I’m going to have to go the professional route. Then there’s the whole upkeep issue, which I can’t afford to do consistently :confused:

9

Heh, I know some women who have done the same! Really, it’s tempting sometimes…

10

My natural color (in the not-gray-yet sections) is an ash brown with reddish highlights. It was fine. A little bland, but not unattractive. Of course, I’m fair enough that I can pull off “medium reddish brown” so I can’t really say how it would look on you.

11

I think you can do it at home if you wanted, and go with a medium brown. There will be some transitional issues, this is true, but they pass. Also, at 35-40% gray, your hair that is already dyed is taking the color differently, meaning that your hair is not a uniform color right now anyway (no one’s is).

Most brands separate their medium brown into warm, cool or natural/neutral tones. You might check these out to see if any are closer to a hint of auburn that you like, without actually using an auburn dye.

If you start dying at home, initially apply the medium brown dye over all your hair, even though it will seem like it’s not going to do much on hair that has already been dyed darker. It will still help the overall look of the coloring, especially gray hair that has already been dyed – even with permanent dye, color will have faded a bit on gray.

The other thing that you can try, and this is more of a thing that might be helpful to someone who is already comfortable with coloring their hair at home, is to go with a semi-permanent dark brown ONLY on your roots, and this will fade lighter fairly quickly so you can control the transitional time a bit (repeat for a few months). With this method, you will get to a tipping point where you feel confident about going to a permanent medium brown dye applied all over.

If you are willing to spend the money, a good professional can help you plan a transition to a lighter shade without striping, but it will take a few visits to maintain.

How long do you like to wear your hair?

12

If I were you, I’d look on Angie’s List or Yelp or something and find THE most expert colorist in my town and pay the $200 or whatever for a first-rate, top-of-the-line color job and consultation. The situation you describe isn’t something I would mess around with at home.

I colored my own hair for DECADES. Then I’d go to the salon for a few times, then back to doing it myself, then back to the salon, etc. About eight years ago, I stopped doing it myself. Period. I just couldn’t get the coverage I needed, especially in the back. And the color product you use at home doesn’t last as long. And it’s a royal PITA to do at home.

Then about two years ago I started going to a salon that specializes in color. I found out about them because five women in my 10-member book club go there. It’s not cheap, but it’s also not off the charts: color only is about $100, this is with no highlights. With a cut, add about $50. With highlights (which I only do a couple of times a year), add another $50. But they have wi-fi, coffee, snacks, I sit there and get online (sometimes here!) read my book club book and it’s 1.5-2 hours out of my life.

Anyway, now my color is FABULOUS, the color itself is right for my complexion (not necessarily the exact color I would have chosen, but it’s hard to pick that sort of thing well for yourself), it lasts 5-6 weeks because they are *meticulous *in the application process, they use a first-quality product and everyone at this salon has been trained in the science and chemistry of the process itself. I get compliments on my hair color constantly, from strangers on the street, grocery checkers, anyone and everyone. It’s pretty amazing.

Bottom line: you need professional help selecting the best COLOR for your skin. Even if you don’t choose to keep going to a salon, go once and get help finding the best color.

But I say your hair is out there every day on your head in front of God and everybody. It’s the one thing that if it looks great, you feel great, even if you feel like crap, kwim?

13

Beat me to it. I’d recommend a body-art quality henna like you get from http://hennaforhair.com/. It will cover the grey with red – it also, on me at least, boosts the red in my highlights. It won’t lighten your dark hair, but it’ll shine a little redder in the sun.

As an added bonus – in chemical dyes, red has the largest molecule and therefore fades the fastest out of all colors of hair dye (as explained to me by my stylist many years ago). There IS no such thing as a permanent red chemical dye, it will fade eventually. Henna, on the other hand, binds with the keratin of your hair (after it oxidizes, which takes about three days), and IS a permanent red dye.

Yes, it will probably look redder/lighter now that you have more grey – the grey will pick up a bright, coppery color, which will mix in with the darker strands. I have streaks like this, and I like the way it turns out with the henna. I’ve used henna for seven or eight years now and am very happy with it.

14

I’m 100% grey now but leading up to that I tried many things (natural color medium auburn) including henna, home dying and salon dying. I’ve finally found Aveda salons - yes they are expensive but the one I go to is a non-tipping salon and my colorist is a junior stylist so the price is affordable. As for going lighter - I asked the same question. Going lighter means stripping which damages your hair. Depending on your hair’s texture, health - it may or may not be able to withstand it.

My problem with henna was that while it was very healthy for your hair, it looks iffy/DIY, especially in natural light. Don’t even try it on roots/regrowth - the difference is marked.

15

I also go to an Aveda salon.

At some point all DIY hair color looks iffy. IMHO.

16

Please do not try to dye your gray as dark as the rest of your hair; it looks flat, obvious, and unnatural.

If you really want to color the gray (instead of living with a gorgeous salt & pepper), you want a deposit only color at least two shades lighter than your current hair. Trust your stylist on ash v. gold v. neutral.

17

Maybe I should try that! I’ve never thought of it. I’m about to cover my white hair for the first time. And my hair is almost black too, but my old person hair is white white white, so it really sticks out. Is henna hard to do? How long does it last? I would really only need to do it at my temples I guess.

18

(Sittin’ here with my head full of henna at the moment…)

Henna lasts. Period. It will not fade. It will not lighten. When you’ve rinsed it out, it will be kind of Bozo orange - so do that on a day you don’t have to go anywhere. By the next day, it will have matured and deepened a bit as it oxidizes. Then that’s it - that’s the color it will be as it grows out.

As it grows out and you do another round of henna, the roots are all you need to do.

Do realize that this makes it a little tricky to *stop *using henna. If you decide not to keep doing henna, you’re going to have to go darker or just let it grow out or cut it all off - it does not strip well because those red molecules are so well attached to the hair. The good news is that “ombre” is still inexplicably a thing, so you can grow it out and pass off the long roots as intentional. :smiley:

Henna is fairly easy to do. Detailed instructions are all over that hennaforhair.com site, which is the one I always recommend as well. My personal tip: A 60cc irrigation syringe. It’s a ginormous needleless syringe that you can use to suck up the paste and apply right where you want it. Makes everything many times faster than brushes, and it’s a lot easier to refill than a cone, and the pressure of the plunger helps move thicker paste than you can dispense through a squeezy bottle. It used to take me a good 90 minutes to apply henna to my whole head; with an irrigation syringe, it takes about 20 minutes

19

Doing the roots all by yourself is the really hard part, especially in the back.

20

As a guy of a certain age who still has most of his hair, I let my fogey flag fly proudly. Men who color their hair usually don’t fool anyone.