This weekend a friend and I caught the movie Camp written and directed by Todd Graff.
I had read relatively little about the film before seeing it, but what I saw had led me to believe that it would be a nifty little musical teen comedy about a performing arts camp with (shocking, I know) more gay and lesbian overtones than one would find in a convential movie of that type.
What I didn’t expect is that I would end up sitting through two hours of what may very well have been the worst movie I’ve ever paid money to sit in a theater and watch. I thought I was prepared for bad movies. I mean, I sat through Patch Adams and Gone in 60 Seconds in theaters, right? My bad movie armor must be pretty strong, right? Not strong enough, my friends. Not strong enough.
Seriously, though. Plot points just appear, get absolutely no development, dissapear for a while and then pop up in the last 10 minutes of the movie with horribly clichéd feel good resolutions. Indeed, some characters seem to just vanish for large portions of the film. The main character is, frankly, a huge tool. In his quest to be liked by everyone, he hooks up with a bunch of the female characters, leads one on emotionally, and is a pretty big tease to one of the gay characters. This would be bad enough except that (spoilers for the end of this piece of crap follow)
He and the girl he had been leading on and fooling aroundon behind her back for like 75% of the movie end up together at the end. And the movie seems to think we’re supposed to be happy because of this. Also? The lessons learned by this, the lead female character, seem to be “don’t hang around drag queens” and “date utterly moronic tools”.
However, since this movie can’t decide on a main plotline at all, we’re also treated to a downright embarassing story about a washed up, bitter, alcoholic, playwright who Sees The Light when the kids at the camp perform his unpublished works. He then goes on to live a life of fame and fortune, apperantly. Seriously, it’s that bad. I’ve seen Disney channel movies with more original plots than this.
By the end of the movie I was hoping, and if this is the case, please tell me, that it was so bad because it was being ironic. You know, a parody of stupid campy teen movies. But no, I really don’t think it was. It was just that bad. Did I mention the extended scene featuring the Cute Little Kid who was initially shy and shows his true talent at tapdancing? And that they randomly reveal that the main character is obsessive compulsive like halfway through the movie?
In this movie’s defense, some of the musical numbers are fun to watch. There are some scenes that, taken independently from the monstrosity as a whole, are actually funny. There’s also a plethora of musical theater references that I’m sure people more knowledgable than I will like. Oh, and while the main character is a tool of the highest order, the actor that plays him is unspeakably cute.
But it’s just not enough. This movie sucks beyond belief. It’s a rare movie that can cause me to think “I wouldn’t even like this thing if zombies and robots all of the sudden ran on screen and started eating everyone”, but Camp is one of those movies. Heed my warning, don’t see Camp.