It occurred to me a long time ago that there could be a version of Teletubbies for adult guys, to keep them entertained. It would be called Telebutties, and would feature very sexy female fuzzy creatures in primary colors, with television sets installed in their butts. They would live the Teletubby/Eloi.Playboy Mansion life, lazing around the fields or the indoor pool while the unseen underground things took away the mess and brought the food. Every now and then there would be a broadcast of porno loops that would show up on the luck one’s butt. Then they would all shout “Again! Again!” ,and the same exact loop would be repeated.
And Noo-Noo would have a lot of extra attachments.
Dipsy is just comedic relief. He’s the Festus of the bunch. Just as things are looking bleak for the Teletubbies - the baby is frowning at them, or the balls are bouncing the wrong way, the speakers are blaring, the oceans are draining… Along comes Dipsy who does something stupid, and goes, “Uh oh!” and all the Teletubbies laugh and roll on the ground stupidly.
Personally, I think the Teletubbies look like little distorted vampires or something. They drive me batty! Needless to say, my 3-year-old loves them! (She loves The Wiggles, too). I just grit my teeth, and get through it. My only rule is, when we go to the video store, we do NOT rent Teletubby videos (I did it once, and was very regretful, as she wanted to watch it about 8 times a day for the entire week!). Blue’s Clues is fine, Dora, Clifford, Frankln, and Maggie and The Ferocious Beast are all OK. Teletubbies must soon be fed arsenic-laced tubby custard so they will die!
No way, dude! Po is hot!! That breathy little girl voice, that scooter that makes her kinda like Heather Graham in Boogie Nights, and that red hole on top just waiting for… uh… never mind.
As for Telebutties, a few years ago a now-defunct local weekly alternative paper ran a picture from the West Hollywood Halloween celebration of the Telechubbies. They were 2 guys in Teletubby outfits with fuzzy boners.
My little lad just loves Blue’s Clues, but I find Steve soooo infuriating! The man is less intelligent than his condiment set! Let alone his puppy! Blue is definitely the brains of the outfit – I hope she’s pulling down the big paycheck.
They used to creep me out pretty good–those soft, blurry features reminded me of the kind of face that some alien creature might try to give itself if it only had satellite photos of humans to work from.
But once I got past that (and bore a child) I found them somewhat peaceful and hypnotizing.
I did see one of them bend over and get tickled in the buttocks by a large feather in one episode. It screamed of homoeroticism and made me wonder how hard their creators laugh as they cook up episodes.
Speaking from personal experience, *Teletubbies *really is a superlatively excellent show to watch while tripping balls. The colour plotlines are deep.
Just watch your ass around La-la. That is one sneaky fucking bastard, and that’s all I’ll say about that.
My daughter is 13 now and we don’t watch Teletubbies any more. I don’t miss them. Sometimes, though, I do catch myself wanting to sit down and watch an episode of Kipper the Dog.
That’s the gut reaction from most people who haven’t seen the show.
I’m recalling, though, than 12 years back (when I had no kids yet), I jokingly asked two friends with kids “So, IS that purple Teletubby gay?” They looked at each other for a moment… then the first Dad said, “I think so,” and the other said “He HAS to be.”
Again, I have NEVER seen a single episode of the show. I have no opinion. And even these two Dads (who were both conservative family values proponents and devout Christians of different stripes) didn’t care enough to make the kids stop watching. They just thought, based on what they saw, that the show’s creators were having some kind of weird fun with the character by giving it some gay mannerisms.
Steve!!
It was Tinky Winky, the purple one, who was purported to be gay, not Po, the red one.