She did tell me that she’s not going to take away my software, but I’m not convinced. I’m doing a list of the reasons why the industry standard software is better, but I’m sure she’ll have justifications for why none of it is true. It is very disrespectful to demand that someone use tools that aren’t appropriate for the job.
It’s more that she refuses to understand. She’s a narcissist, and she thinks she’s an expert at things that she really knows very little about. I don’t know how to deal with a person who’s not at all rational. Also she gets very defensive, so it’s hard to make any progress. I think she might have some imposter syndrome too, so it’s all a rich tapestry.
It’s a health-related issue. That’s all I want to say about it. It’s been going on for a long time and I’m tired of talking about it, and I don’t want to get into it here.
MagicEyes, I want to be on your side, truly. It’s just that your justifications and explanations for your response to this situation are becoming harder for me to understand.
Did your IT department actually tell you your boss “gets whatever she wants”? Or is that your interpretation of the situation? If it’s the latter, has your IT department responded to the insistence on using a free app vs. the professional software?
Or is that even an issue any longer, since your boss has now said she’s going to allow you to use the professional software? A statement, incidentally, that you say you don’t believe based on (reasons), and so you’re preparing to … support her position with data? Which you then expect your boss to refute, even though it will agree with her position?
You say your boss refuses to understand things, even though she just reversed her position on the software you use based (I’m guessing) on your discussion with her about why you need it. So she apparently can change her opinion and mindset in some instances.
You wrote “I don’t know how to deal with a person who’s not at all rational” and she “gets very defensive.” Understand that all we have to go on here is your version of events, and the more detail you give – or don’t give – the more it sounds like you’re creating a lot of these issues for yourself.
That’s my perspective, of course. Others may feel differently.
I’ve posted about this previously, so there’s a little background. The manager of our organization is her buddy, so she got this job with very little relevant experience and without a competitive hiring process. She gets everything she wants, including new furniture, office space that belongs to other departments, and people from other departments. She likes to build empires, but she does it by taking away from other people. Before this, our department wasn’t able to get money for things that needed to be done, so it’s obvious favoritism.
She didn’t reverse her position–she has said that I can continue to use the professional software if there’s a good reason, but in reality I don’t think she’ll want me to use it when I have a good reason to use it. It’s going to be more of a struggle when we have to go through this for each thing I work on.
She assumes I don’t know how to use the app, but to me the app is another tool to do my work, and I’m very adaptable in using different tools to do the same thing.
I don’t have a way to prove that what I’m saying is true, so you’ll have to decide for yourself if you believe me or not. I really am here to get help in dealing with this, so it’s better for me if people give me insights that can be helpful.
In our last meeting, I realized that I don’t know how little she knows. A lot of her arguments are based on misunderstanding how things work. I also think she just likes to disagree with anything I say.
A little more information that might be helpful–she has never done my job. She has supervised other people who have done very simple graphic design, but their main job is something else.
What’s the downside to doing everything the way she wants it – doing just the tasks that she wants, using just the tools that she wants?
It sounds like the worst case is you would be less efficient and some people in other teams would not have some extra documents you’ve been creating.
In situations like this my strategy is to argue the other person’s position to myself as honestly and as thoroughly as I can. That usually reveals perspectives I didn’t consider. And when I find I can’t make their arguments well, it usually means I have something on my side I need to work through.
Mental health is a health related issue, and what you describe does not sound to me as though it would be good for one’s mental health. Just my opinion. I understand your desire for privacy. But lacking any details, it is difficult to understand why either leaving, looking for a new job, or just lowering your standards and doing what she wants are not options.
As I learned at a early age, the boss is not always right, but they are always the boss.
It’s like using a simple text editor instead of Word for long complex documents. It’s frustrating, it requires more repetitive motions, and it makes me unhappy. The app she wants me to use doesn’t do a lot of the work I need to do. It’s only suitable for simple, small things. I’m using the app for some things, but I would like to have some input on where it should be used and where I need to use the good software. Based on past experience, I’m pretty sure that’s not going to happen.
I don’t essentially have a problem with taking longer to do projects as long as it’s not interfering with other work, because I don’t do overtime, but she already thinks I take too long to do things (because she doesn’t have a realistic idea of how long things should take). I think she’s used to people using templates that only need to have text and maybe a little bit of clipart added. I’m doing things that are more complex, so of course it’s going to take longer.
Another important point is that she hasn’t been doing this job very long, so she hasn’t seen all of the different types of projects that I do. The free app can’t do some of the bigger projects, which I’ve tried to tell her, but I don’t think she believes it. And as I mentioned in my last post, she doesn’t understand how things work at a very basic level, so she is going to want me to do things that can’t be done with the free app. I want to be sure that I’m going to be allowed to use the tools I need to do my job (or even not be harassed for using them), which I don’t think is unreasonable.
I have limited options, and the other options are worse than this. It’s not going to last forever. I am taking care of my mental health, although sometimes I get a little more stressed than I want to be. It’s mainly a problem when I have to meet with her. Those are not good times.
As they say, people don’t leave bad companies, they leave bad managers. So as long as you have some sort of exit strategy.
I’m dealing with the same exact issue in my workplace. The specifics of the work and the tasks doesn’t really matter that much. You can’t work at a place where your boss is always hostile and petty and makes you dread every interaction with them. At least I can’t. I come from an engineering background and am too “reason-based” for that. I don’t know how to keep a lunatic pleased while avoiding doing any of the sort of work that will put them in a position to incur their wraith.
Some people have no problem with it. You are not one of them. Every time you make a reasonable suggestion or propose an alternative, she hears “fuck you, I’m going to threaten your tenuous hold over this complex machine you control that you barely comprehend.”
To recap: My boss insists that I use a free app instead of the appropriate professional software. Of course the free app can’t do a lot of what the real software does, but she won’t believe it. I’m working on a project where the results from the free app are obviously inferior to the real software, so that might help convince her that I do know what I’m talking about.
I’m still hanging in there. My original exit plan didn’t work out, so I’m working on a new plan. I’m cautiously optimistic. I’m also wondering if maybe I do like my job enough that I could find a way to work with her.
It is very disrespectful to demand that someone use tools that aren’t appropriate for the job.
I’m working on a project where the results from the free app are obviously inferior to the real software, so that might help convince her that I do know what I’m talking about.