Honestly who care. I can always find another job (and often do). I was going to post a few long boring examples of some prior crappy work situations I had.
My take is if your manager or your company doesn’t respect you and your work, find someplace that does. Life’s too short to spend 20+ some some of these back-office cubicle jobs terrified of rubbing some petty officiant the wrong way.
Sometimes you just have to tell your boss to fuck off. I’ll eventually find a new job but the loss of face they will have in front of their people may last their entire career!
I have a meeting with my chaos boss this week, so she can bully me in person instead of by email. If it doesn’t go well, I think I need to ask for a chaperone next time. I’m trying to get all of my thoughts in order so I can avoid saying anything that will get me fired.
There is a post about her on Nextdoor, so other people in the community are noticing that there’s a problem. I don’t think it’s someone who works here.
I’ve worked for a company exactly like yours. I got fired and 6 months later they realized the boss was the problem (like I had been saying) not me so they fired her. That didn’t help me at that point.
Mrs. Cad worked for a company that even picked her with a few selected others to take extra-special management classes. She complained about her mistreatment due to corporate cliques and probably because she owns a vagina. Her co-workers (outside that department’s clique culture) acknowledged she was right. Some in Upper-UPPER management acknowledged she had a point about the bullying, misogyny and mismanagement but ultimately they let her take another job rather than upset the admitted wrongful status quo.
My advice to you is accept you are going to be out soon, whether by your choice or not. Management may know you are absolutely right but they ultimately don’t care. Just document EVERYTHING in case your manager fires you “for cause”.
Are you in a single-party state? I’d secretly record your meeting next week if you are.
I hate to say it, but be prepared. You’re probably gonna be let go.
I have little experience with this sorta thing. So I’m looking at it from the outside in.
Maybe pay attention to how the conversation is going and have a “I’m quitting this job” speech ready to go.
That’s probably where this is going to end up. Senior management isn’t seeing the problem, but other people who work here are. Unfortunately no one is listening to anyone who’s not senior management. Also she hasn’t been on the job long enough for the inevitable disasters to happen.
I need to tough this out until September, if possible. I plan to take advantage of every possible way to drag this out as long as I can. I work for a place where it’s not that easy to fire someone, so I’m hoping that will work in my favor.
If she raises her voice to me in this meeting, I will walk out. I don’t mean I’ll quit–I just mean I won’t continue talking to her if she can’t be respectful.
Based on my experiences and given MagicEyes story, that will be worthless. Mrs Cad went to her company’s HR a few jobs ago with all of the proof of bullying. HR told her to examine HER practices as to why he boss feels it necessary to bully her. Remember HR’s job is to protect the Chaos Boss.
That would be a mistake because now you are be insubordinate (not really but that’s how she will put it). Like I said, if in a single party state record it and let her rant all she wants while you are oh so polite. Then write up everything she tells you to do in an email to confirm those are her expectations of your work.
I don’t think refusing to be abused is insubordinate.
HR is under pressure from upper management to smooth things over and be nice to her. I think they do know what the deal is, but there’s not much they can do about it at this point.
Not this one, but if she doesn’t behave herself, I will ask for a neutral person for the next one.
That’s why I said “not really”. But she is framing the narrative to bosses, not you.
Who do you have in mind? They have to be acceptable to her to be in the meeting yet not afraid to buck management. Also, this is not a majority vote. Why should they care about two of you saying the same thing over her? I’m assuming recording is out of the question.
What’s your endgame in all of this. You said to keep your job until September but you are talking about escalating to situation. Walking out when you feel disrespected. Having a neutral party come into a meeting. These are things that will get you fired sooner rather than later. Are you trying to get her fired? Are you protecting yourself so that you can fight the “for cause” if they fire you? Trying to get severance when they fire you? Are you going to take them to court when fired? You are talking tactics when you need a strategy and maybe eat that shit sandwich and ask her for seconds to obtain your ultimate goal.
I get that you need to hang onto your job a bit longer, but I have to tell you one of my biggest career regrets – and I have a lot – is hanging onto a terrible job for just 4 months. I had a total bait-and-switch job with a hideous supervisor, and was of the mindset that I had to buckle down, do my very 110% best, and thrive at the job no matter what.
It was obviously hopeless from day one, just terrible nightmare people and a nightmare firm that, mercifully, no longer exists. But I stuck at it for 4 whole months, then suffered actual PTSD for some time afterwards. I can still hardly drive past the building.
I regret staying for 4 months; I regret agreeing to give 2 weeks notice at the end and working that even that out. I should have done what my predecessor did, which was walk at lunch out the first day and never look back.
This was 8 years ago, and had no lasting repercussions on my career one way or the other, but lasting personal repercussions. Those 4 months of torment in 2016 still haunt me. Big, big mistake to even try; sometimes cutting your losses is the best possible thing.
And sorry for the long anecdote about MY experience – who cares, right? But you have a fully unsolvable and all too common problem: boss doesn’t like you, and boss has protection of upper management. This is a lose-lose situation with no possible outcome except you eventually leave; no amount of complaints, HR-wrangling, etc. can ever change the basic facts at play. You could, of course, manage to stick it out for a while longer by various means, but as far as health insurance goes, would it be possible to buy Obamacare in the short term, or COBRA?
Do not quit unless you have another job lined up. Or if you do quit, be aware it may take a long time to find a new job. Also, you can’t get unemployment if you quit.
I am leaving, but I want to do it on my own terms. If I could, I would quit right now. I would love to be able to text my boss and say I won’t be in tomorrow, because I Q-U-I-T-QUIT! I can’t do that, so I need to survive (for a limited time) in an inhospitable environment. I am sad because I like my job, and most of my coworkers are good, and I will miss them. I won’t miss the Empress of Everything.
One of the charming things about her is that she builds up her own little empires by taking things away from other people/departments. Before this, she was more separated from other departments, and I think she got used to doing whatever she wanted without anyone else noticing. I think that’s going to change soon.
Please do not try malicious compliance. I know the internet is full of stories where it worked to the positive, but a large percentage of those stories are anonymous and probably written to get positive feedback from viewers. You may think you are proving a point, but Management will likely see it as straight sabotage.
I think at this point it would be more of proving to Unemployment you followed Chaotica’s order. We fired MagicEyes because he painted all of the widgits black which he knew would make them inoperable. “Here is the email where she told me to paint them black. Here is my reply asking if she was sure. And here is here reply of don’t question me, just do it.”
And yeah, most of those MC stories are BS. I was the best worker ever. Then I did this MC. After I left, everyone else did too.
A question for the OP: What was your performance review like, before Ms. Chaos moved in? I’m guessing it was good from what you say, and that could be powerful evidence.
You said that you were doing stuff for another group. Could you go to that manager and say you have time to do even more for them? If you can document that other managers respect you enough to want you do stuff for them, that might scare HR.
BTW, some managers think other managers are idiots. Chat them up, not as a means of making a formal complaint but more “do you know what she just did?” They won’t malign her in your presence, but they might back you up in a staff meeting, and if she brings up firing you tell her that they would like to transfer you to their group. That would be hard for her to say no to.
Not all managers are monsters, but some are.
Voyager, we don’t do reviews, but I get a lot of good feedback on my work from other people. I’m trying to scrounge up some work from other departments, but I can’t change departments. There aren’t any other jobs doing what I do, and the jobs that are open that I could do pay a lot less. I’m really better off looking for another job somewhere else.
I cannot imagine forcing myself to get up, get dressed and go to a place where I have to deal with someone I began calling the “Chaos Demon” every morning. On purpose.
You’ve elected to do this. Yes, it’s elective. I know people stay in jobs for financial reasons. Personally I’d have to work for less and get on ACA.
It doesn’t seem a worthwhile pursuit. Mental healthwise.
It could affect the rest of your life. Your marriage/family. The way you treat others. Awful, angry feelings can follow you home.
