Can cats teleport? How do you take care of a kitty that refuses everything?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Two days ago, on Sunday afternoon, I was in the backyard with my dog, who was sniffing around the yard as usual. Suddenly the dog started barking and sprinted after something! He’d found a cat! Despite repeated commands to the dog to stop, the dog chased the poor cat and got his mouth on it, presumably clamping down with full bite strength. Somehow, the cat would get free and run away but the dog is faster. The cat tried to climb the fence to escape but the dog pulled it down halfway.

I was forced to attack my dog to try to stop the imminent murder of the cat, eventually jumping on top of the dog and pulling it off the outmatched feline.

The poor kitteh then retreated to the corner of the yard and hunked down. Uncertain if the cat had been mauled to the point of death, I approached the cat and reached for it.

Bad mistake, it ended up clawing me badly. I left it alone for a while and returned. The cat was still in the corner, and I could see it bleeding from the leg. I eventually managed to coax it into leaving the corner, which it did so with apparently intact legs, and it retreated to another corner. Later that evening, it was raining heavily and the cat was still hiding in the corner of the backyard in a deepening puddle.

Feeling sorry for the feline, the dog banished to the garage and I managed to capture it and bring it inside the house by covering it’s head with a blanket so it couldn’t see me to aim it’s claws. Once I got a grip on the scruff of the cat’s neck, it let me pick it up without a struggle.

Upon entering the dry house, it promptly hid in a corner behind some drapes. I left it alone the rest of the night.

I left some food, water, and a litterbox, and the cat touched none of it. The next day, I tried handling the cat to get it used to me. Every 20 minutes I’d go handle it. This sort of worked. It hissed at me less and did let me pet it, but even then each time I approached the animal it would hiss and try to claw me unless I first grabbed it by the scruff.

It would also eat or drink nothing. Tuna fish right under it’s nose? Not interested. Water? Nope. It did not poop or pee, either.

After it had been 24 hours since I captured it, I gave up and tossed the cat outside, leaving it some food and water. I figured that it survived outside somehow, so maybe it would eat and drink out there.

Upon going to bed, I heard the cat meowing outside. Every time I would get up to try to locate where it was, it would go silent. Stupid kitty. Why meow to summon someone if it’s just going to shut up when they try to help?

I went to bed. The next night, 24 hours later, I heard the meowing again. Same story. Every time I opened the back door to listen for where it was, silence. Eventually I tried calling “kitty kitty” in a high pitched voice and it would start meowing back. So I homed in on the sound and…

It WAS HIDING IN MY HOUSE THE WHOLE G#W$#$ time! The meows were actually coming from inside the house, where it was hiding in the living room! So now this poor thing has somehow been inside for 48 hours without food or water. Gee, maybe that’s why it’s meowing. All the food and water I put out for it I put outside, not knowing the kitty has teleportation powers.

I try to hand feed it some tuna fish. It’s a lot friendlier now that it’s been starving for 2 days…but it only grudgingly eats a tiny bit and refuses any more. After that it decided to growl at me when I reach for it.

So I just put it outside, I think. It promptly bounded away…like I saw it do last night.

Questions : Why do cats have the teleportation power to get themselves into trouble but not out of it?
Why does a hungry kitty refuse food and water?
Why does the kitty growl and slash at me with it’s claws when I try to pet it, but when I grab it by the scruff and hold it to pet it, it purrs away?
How do kitties survive at all with such contradictory behavior?

2

When kittens are young, their mother carries them by the scruff. For this cat, it’s clearly a pleasant thing.

I imagine that even a somewhat injured cat can still hunt. Maybe this one prefers that–who knows?

3

Grabbing a cat by the scruff causes most cats (even grown ones) to relax. It’s like an automatic response. I don’t think it has anything to do with pleasantness.

4

As Flyer said, it’s the way a mother cat carries her babies. Works with dogs as well, for the same reason (but not if the mother used to carry her puppy held wholly in her mouth - have you tried to simulate this with a grown Pyrenees? It involves a blanket).

5

Purring also does not always mean “happy”. It is also used to indicate the cat is not a threat, or nervousness.

I’m not entirely sure from the OP what you’re asking but do you still want help caring for it?

To the questions you listed, injured animals are often unpredictable. An injured animal that doesn’t know you, and likely associates you to certain extent with the traumatic event, will run and hide, and behave in strange ways. Even ones to do know you may do that.

A cat can wait a while for food and water, especially if freaked out of their gourd. Try just leaving it out and not forcing the issue if you’re still interested in providing for the cat.

6

Have you taken this cat to a veterinarian?

7

1: Cats are extremely good at hiding, and a scared or injured cat finds small, dark places comforting. I do TNR (trap-neuter-release) of ferals and strays and although they can violently freak out in an open trap, they calm down immediately once the trap is covered in a towel or sheet.
2: Scared/injured cats often don’t eat. Also, most cats are reluctant to take food directly from someone’s hand. I have no idea why. If it was an owned cat, it may be stuck on a particular type of food (eg kibble) - cats can become very particular about what they eat. Add pain and stress and fear, and the poor thing might not even try to eat.
3: Not all cats like to be petted. Clearly this one doesn’t, at least not at this point. If a cat is open to being stroked, it will raise its rump as you do so, and/or head-butt your hand. If it “growls and slashes” at you, then clearly it finds that sort of touch threatening or unpleasant. So don’t pet it. And what others said about scruffing a at, and also purring does not always equal contentment.
4: They survive quite well, eat like pigs and respond appropriately to the right sort of interaction (we are currently bottle-feeding an abandoned kitten.)

And, 5: Is taking this poor cat to the vet not a possibility? And how about contacting local shelters to see if someone has lost it, posting a found notice on craigslist and such to see if it has an owner, posting signs where you live?

8

This. After a dog catches a cat as the OP described, a trip to the vet is appropriate.

Kitty may not have been eating because of internal injuries and/or infection.

I’d expect her to come out and eat a bit when you were asleep, at least on the 2nd or 3rd day.