Feel free to add to this list! It needs to be something that most cats do, not something only one cat does, and it needs to make little sense to humans
They will let you pet them all day with your hand. But if you use a foot, no matter how gentle, the cat immediately bites and scratches it
You can put some baked chicken breast into their bowl, cut into pieces, and the cat just sniffs and walks away. But if you tantalize the cat with the meat, tearing it into very small strips by hand, the cat will eat it
Once you start running a tap for a cat to drink from, they refuse to drink from any other source. Nothing but the best for Mr. Purrpants. Also, they only drink if the tap is trickling, not flowing rapidly
Do you want kitty to snuggle when you go to bed? Grab kitty and try to hold it while you relax. Kitty will wait until your hands go limp and make a break for it. However, if you just go to bed on your own, kitty will hop up and make a nest at your head or feet.
You can pet kitty, and they will roll over and expose belly. It’s a trap! Don’t even try it.
Cats will just get up and start meowing. They have food? Yep. Water? Yep. Catbox? It’s clean. You let them outside? They come right back in. What’s the problem, kitty? You will never know.
Kitty will meow to be let outside when it is raining. Yet, if you open the door, cat will step outside for an instant, then head right back in. 10 minutes later, meowing again to be released.
If you pet kitty, after a certain number of pets, the kitty has hit a petting limit and will try to escape. But if you just hold kitty without petting, the kitty may stay for half an hour.
Purring kitty can be restarted when the purring stops by petting it just once. Why? No one knows.
Tail straight up? Happy to see you. Tail down? Moving or scared. Tail flicking? Angry/warn. Tail gently curling back and forth while being petted? You will never know.
Stroke kitty under neck? Kitty loves it. “Help” kitty purr louder by pressing down on chest when the kitty is exhaling? Kitty is totally ok with it. Touch kitty’s belly? Watch it buddy, you’re about to lose a hand.
Despite evolving in an environment before humans, kitties know how to open doors with their claws. I’ve seen numerous kitties do this.
If you punish kitty for something like getting in a spot you don’t want them to go, kitty will avoid going there…but only if you are looking at it. Otherwise, it’s open season.
Now this is a HOUSE cat, because of a protein allergy. If he eats anything other than special dry food he gets open sores. We have to catch bugs and moths before he does and throw them out.
He’ll very loudly running back and forth for no seeming purpose. It sounds like Monty Python horses.
He’ll lick plastic bags. He loves plastic bags.
He sometimes pretends to be a bread.
He tries to scratch you from on top of the shower cabinet.
Other kitty’s food is better. It’s the same food, but it’s better.
Kitty MUST!!! be in the bathroom with human if human sits for more than 30 seconds.
15b. Kitty MUST!!! see what’s going on outside the bathroom by sitting in the doorway while human leans forward holding the door.
Or indeed any open container.
One of ours loves shopping day - we use the reusable bags and he’ll jump in one as soon as it’s empty. Sometimes he doesn’t even wait for that. Similarly, our laundry basket is fair game on laundry day. I wouldn’t mind, but playful kitty claws are starting to take their toll on the basket.
To follow on from that:
Purpose-bought toys, scratching posts and baskets are never as good as the random people stuff that can be repurposed for kitty use. Eg, why bother with a specially designed scratching post when the carpet is right there?
Once used to the idea that treats come out of small plastic bags, cats can be conditioned to believing that anything that comes out of a small, crinkly bag is a treat and therefore delicious. Two of our cats go nuts for the small sample sized bags of what is otherwise perfectly ordinary kibble.
They will suddenly and completely go off the exact type and flavour of cat food that they couldn’t get enough of yesterday. Usually just after you’ve bought a decent stock of it. :rolleyes:
Cats will gravitate to the visitor to your home who likes cats the least.
Cats want to be between you and whatever you are looking at so obsessively - monitor, newspaper, book. Corollary - keyboards are a perfectly acceptable place to lie down. Top of monitor distant second.
My cat loves to be petted and wants me to pet him a lot. Until suddenly, he doesn’t want that anymore, and he lets me know by biting me. With no warning.
…19. They will suddenly and completely go off the exact type and flavour of cat food that they couldn’t get enough of yesterday. Usually just after you’ve bought a decent stock of it. :rolleyes:
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If you persist in presenting them with that newly-eschewed food, they will pantomime that they are burying it. Which more sensical than non- come to think of it.
All cats, no matter which room they are in, MUST BE IN THE OTHER ROOM IMMEDIATELY, because cats.
No matter how many times the cat has seen and heard your guitar (or insert other item), it is still the most terrifying thing to ever enter the house. One strum will cause pitiful meowing and frantic running from room to room. :rolleyes:
A cardboard box or paper bag is the ultimate toy and takes precedence over all those fun! toys you bought at exorbitant prices.
That’s actually sensical. Humans are big on direct eye contact. Cats not so much. So a person who looks a lot at a cat is seen as threatening. While someone who only glances once in a while is seen as friendly. Ditto with trying to get the cat’s attention by motion and voice.
One common oddity of our cats: They frequently come by for pets, but just an inch out of arms reach.
Yesterday it was the visitor who said, “go away!” And made hissing noises. My cats will BE FRIENDS with everyone. :rolleyes:
Another rule: cats will get into your lap milliseconds before you are planning to stand up. I think they sense electrical impulses traveling to the leg muscles or something.
Ha ha; this. My cat demands “fresh” food. I just recycle the old stuff back to the bag. Does the smell of the food dissipate or something when outside of the bag?
I think that cats actually do have fairly predictable and expressive body language. But it’s subtle and easy to confuse “I want belly rubs” with “I want you to put your hand there so I can attack it”.
That was a funny thread, but okay, Mr. Scientologist guy, explain this one: Cats increase in weight and mass in direct proportion to how much effort you put into moving them, while retaining the ability to shape-shift and flow around those efforts. If sleeping next to you at night, all efforts to dislodge or move them are for naught. Leg sweep? Human, please; your leg passes right underneath without kitty even opening an eye. Knee nudge? Hah! Body fold maneuver. Pick up and move? Silly human, you can’t lift something that now outweighs you and that simply rolls off of your hands.
Also, while you are in the bathroom for that night call, cats innards turn to jelly and they flow into the warm spot that you left. Since you can’t move them, you now must find a new spot to sleep in.
All cats must announce daybreak, regardless of the hour. At the first sign of light, they’re ready for the hunt, and you, as part of the litter, must join in the prowl for kibble. Food already in the dish from the night before doesn’t exist until you walk over to it.
