Normally, my email service filters out spam. But occasionally one will slip through. Normally I trash it sight unseen. But this one last week I opened by accident. (Or divine intervention, perhaps?)
Here is what it said verbatim:
It then included information on how to contact them to order, and promised shipping within 24 hours.
Now, several points came to mind after reading this:
There’s a market for people feeling a sense of urgency to become a man or woman of the cloth within 48 hours?
“BAPTISMS: You can say ‘WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!’”
I’m just picturing that one in my family.
“Uncle Bob? Unc – you really need to set the beer down because the baby’s head is immersed in water right now, Uncle Bob? Pay attention, please? No, we won’t wait for a commercial.”
I like how “Visit Correctional Facilities!” is not only listed as one of the cool things about being a minister, it’s listed ahead of starting your own church (!)
I’m gonna become a minister at a women’s prison by Wednesday!
Of course there is. I mean, you sit around drinking beer and staring at the tube on Friday night, and you suddenly think to yourself: “Damn, I wish I could make all those assholes at work call me ‘Reverend’ on Monday.”