Can I Get My Furniture Reupholstered With Foreskin?

Is it true that you can purchase furniture with real foreskin upholstery?

How much does this material cost per square foot? What type of maintenance is required for foreskin upholstery??


What species? The only foreskin furniture that I know of are the whale foreskin bar stools that Aristotle Onasis had on his yacht. Are there other examples?

I suppose the advantage is that when you stroke the armchair, it turns into a sofa…

Coffee, computer monitor… you get the picture :smiley:

And the associated quote on same: “You mean these are Moby’s dick?”


If I visit your place, I think I’ll remain standing.

I just saw a whale prepuce in the Boston Museum of Science this weekend. It was impressive, but you’d still need quite a few to upholster even a chair. Even if the things you get are the size of the item mentioned in Melville’s Moby Dick (in the chapter entitled “The Cassock”), it wouldn’t be a cost-effective way of redoing your living room.

Talk about conspicuous consumption!

And the award for Thread With the Most Congruous Relationship Between Title and Author Name goes to…

How many foreskins would it take to cover a chair? I can’t see it catching on as a fashion item, as the necessary patchwork would probably be quite uncomfortable - as well as being strange looking.

Perhaps this sort of furniture would catch on with people who were into S&M and leather? Or maybe poor rabbis who couldn’t afford to get their chairs professionally recovered?

If someone trys to sell you mine, I want it back.

You’ll iidentify it easily–it’s about the size of a shitake mushroom.(thaty’s what they tell me–I was too young to remember)

… my brain, for some reason, keeps wanting to transpose the location of the word “my” in the Thread Title every time it’s on my screen.

This cannot be good.

Not to mention the OP’s location.

Years ago, I saw an ad in a camping supply catalog for a cane made with a bull penis wrapped around it. :eek:

No. :rolleyes:

No, but you can get handbags.

*Synthetic * human skin?

:rolleyes: This thread is just more of the same from Surreal. So he wins the award every week.

Surreal Standard Procedure;

  • read something bizarre about sexual organs in the nether regions of the internet someplace.
  • post a question in SDMB GQ asking if it’s for real.

How irritating. You go into a thread solely to make a joke about handbags turning into suitcases when you rub them and then see that someone (**mangetout ** ) has got there first. :frowning:

Then you get the straight line to deliver your punchline anyway! :frowning: :frowning:


“Wow, is that real Corinthian dickhead?”

“So, you got a job yet?”

“Yup, down at the zoo. I am a mohel for Jewish elephants.”

“How do you like it?”

“Well, the pay isn’t much, but the tips are excellent.”

Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.