Really? We drink iced tea. Couple of bucks and free refills. I eat out 4-5 times a week, hundreds of times a year at sports bars and chain restaurants. I can’t even imagine a server acting that way. At my regular spots they have the iced tea pouring as soon as they see me walk in. I do tip well since I never spend very much. Always 20% plus a buck or two.
Dennis
When I waited tables, we were told by management to up-sell/suggestive sell. I don’t like people doing it to me when I go out so I didn’t do it to others when I waited on them.
However, there was more incentive other than just creeping on extra tips: Often management would grill you on if you were doing it or not and you could get in trouble, but more than that, almost every weekend we’d have a contest for “who can sell the most of Item X,” which usually was an app or a dessert. The winner got $50, or no closing chores, or whatever the prize was (varied). As a contest, it worked–my coworkers could be pretty competitive.
Once my parents went to Bob Evans. The server asked if they wanted pie. When they ordered ice cream instead, the server was visibly disappointed. Mom said, “You’re supposed to push that pie, aren’t you?” She laughed and admitted it.
Ah-HA!
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A few members of my family have worked as waitpeople. All of them had some sort of contest or incentive to sell a table on apps, drinks, entrees and a dessert. I want to say they called it something like a “full ticket”.
they also get bonuses and such if you say yes and some places fired if they dont …
When they ask about dessert or coffee, it’s also a polite way to plant the bug that your time is up. Basically another way of saying, “you’re taking up valuable space, so if you’re not gonna order something, GTFO!”
Spousal unit and I don’t drink either but we’ve never felt like we were treated differently because of it. Maybe it’s the type of restaurants we patronize.
I tend to avoid caffeinated drinks after noon, so I usually just order water, and since that doesn’t get added to the tab, I tend to tip more generously in that case, not that a server knows that ahead of time. But if they keep my water and my husband’s tea glasses full, we are fiscally appreciative. 
Yes
On a side note, has anyone ever had a server ask you if wanted some alcohol? I’ve generally been asked if I want a drink. Or maybe if I would like some wine or beer or a cocktail. But I’ve never been asked if I wanted alcohol.
There are also people called secret shoppers, who will rate you on a list of requirements provided by the franchise. They definitely note when you don’t upsell.
That’s what them telling you the specials is for. But mostly, the menu is designed to get you to buy more expensive stuff. Restaurants often feature a most expensive entree that no one orders, than another one - still more expensive than normal - priced below it. People anchor on the higher price, and consider the next highest priced entree a bargain.
Featuring an entree also increases sales.
A few extra cents? Where I live those things are $5 each at middling restaurants. They’re getting a buck or more in tips for each sold at 20%. It would be stupid NOT to ask if you want apps and dessert. Takes 2 seconds and the worse thing you’ll get is a no. Personslly I feel weird asking for dessert at the end if the server doesn’t offer it. Hasn’t happened very often, but it has happened.
It’s fairly common and I’ve always thought it was no harm no foul in the USA. When I worked as a server, I used it as a way to mention the featured cocktail of the day, one of the beers on tap and then Pepsi, since we were Pepsi, not Coke. When I mentioned appetizers, I usually mentioned the ones that could make an light meal. Desserts weren’t big, but it was the rare person who wanted an dessert after one of our entrees, especially if it came with soup or salad.
Why would you not offer dessert??? If you just drop off the bill (and yeah that happens) they’re gonna be pissed if they had intended to buy dessert or coffee.
At the Italian chain restaurant I worked at in the 1990s, one of the managers implemented a leaderboard for the wait staff, on prominent display in the back of the house. It tracked average “add-ons” per check for each server. Add-ons were anything that was not an entree, and were broken down by type on the leaderboard: appetizers, alcohol, desserts, and other. The “other” category tracked items such as soft drinks, extra salad, extra meatballs, etc. Anything that wasn’t a stock entree was included.
There were small monetary bonuses for doing well on the leaderboard. No one that I know of was ever disciplined for ever finishing low on the board. I remember also that servers who finished consistently high on the leaderboard would most typically get the plum stations on the busiest money-making nights – or else have other schedule privilege (e.g. essentially making their own schedule, flexible days off).