Trust me, with a threat like that, that’s all you can react with. The reptile brain knows that preservation of the species is paramount, so it’s all over a threat to one’s young. Long before any other part of the brain is even aware there’s a threat, the reptile brain has kicked the ol’ adrenal gland in its (figurative) nuts and made it go berserk.
I don’t really know enough to say, actually. I believe that the fight or flight response is at the level. And I’m pretty sure that the valuing of offspring is not just a mammalian trait. So I’d say it probably is.
This might make a good GQ thread.
My question was three quarters serious, one-half snark. I don’t believe that most reptiles instinctively protect their young the way humans do. King cobras are teh exception, not the rule, no?
I think that some birds do, don’t they? And aren’t their brains pretty much reptilian?
I don’t know enough about the animal kingdom to say.
Oh my gosh, yes.
No one ever tried to snatch either of them, but I took Shodan Jr. sledding on a hill near our house when he was a wee one. He was toiling his way up the hill after a run, and I was a bit behind him dragging the sled when some teen-agers, or near to it, thought it would be funny to scare him by sledding down near him and yelling. I don’t think they saw me, or else didn’t realize I was with him. He fell over and they swerved into some bushes on the side and stopped. Then I charged over and - er, made it clear that I was unhappy with their behavior and expected it to stop. Loudly, and in more than one sentence. They jumped back on the sled, made it to the bottom of the hill, and kept going on foot. I never saw them again.
Little Shodan was crying, and so (almost) was I, but I picked him up and he buried his face in my chest and getting him calmed down calmed me down too. Then we scampered back up to the top of the hill and got on with our sledding, but it was frightening how angry I had been. And in a split second, too - from walking uphill slowly to catch my breath to roaring like a rabid lion at the poor terrified teenagers, who were just playing a thoughtless prank.
But they had threatened Him - My Little One - and the reptile brain says no one does that and draws an easy breath afterwards. Part of the wiring.
Regards,
Shodan
This almost makes me want to cry. I’m glad little Shodan made it through unscathed.
Yeah, me too. Thanks for the tale.
But that’s another really primal reaction. Same little Shodan was asleep in his crib, and a thunderstorm started. He was scared of the big booming noises, and he was standing up screaming in his crib when I charged into his room. So I picked him up and sat down in the rocker and patted his little back.
Thirty seconds later, he was asleep. The thunder didn’t stop, but Daddy was there, so all was well. I felt like Superman.
Such a little package, but so much inside.
Regards,
Shodan
As a fellow bonehead, please don’t disembowel your husband. Lots of things seem funny beforehand that aren’t. For example, I was going to snarkily post “won’t somebody think of the children!?” and then realized that would be a tad jerky.
You didn’t overreact. I’m a bit disappointed in MouseHusband–but I think he knows he messed up and is just sulking about it.
I remember when #1 son was about 2, he hid from me in Kohl’s, in the circular clothing racks. For about 30 seconds I could not find him, and he didn’t respond to my calling his name. I immediately went into full alert mode, scanning the store not only for him, but for a nearby worker to start a search. It is that fast. I didn’t yell at him, but I let him know that hiding from Mommy was not fun, cute or acceptable behavior. At any rate, he didn’t do it again.
Another Childless male dude here chiming in, Yeah, I understand the Mother reaction (having seen it a TON of times in my own mother- yeah, I was the kid that hid in the clothing racks).
However, I TOTALLY agree with this guy for the perfect punishment. Esp. since it’s april fools! Try to get him before 11:59pm if possible! It’s a prank and a lesson all in one! And then follow it up with a quip like “Mess with the Momma Bear you get the claws!”:
Well, in defense of the cops, from their P.O.V., even after both participants had been identified as “acquainted with each other”, and “parents of the child”, they almost certainly thought they might have been looking at an attempted non-custodial parental kidnapping, or something similarly domestic and messy, and if they just shrugged, “Oh”, and walked away, they might find themselves in very hot water when the wrong parent succeeded in leaving with the baby. “Father throws toddler off bridge/drowns child in hotel bathtub/beats child’s head in”, you can pick your recent Fox headline.
So they needed to cross every T and dot every I and make sure everything was A-OK before walking away.
Back in school, I worked night security on campus and was friends with several of the campus cops.
One female officer had taken her baby shopping and a stranger started to walk off with the cart. When confronted, he claimed it was just a joke, but since she had drawn her off-duty .38 and had aimed it directly at him while screaming for him to stop, then I suspect he was a tad bit more nervous than your husband.
He barely got away without getting arrested and had likely learned his lesson.
Probably.
But I’ve seen similar cop behavior in cases where only a stolen bicycle was involved. Short version of the story: my bike was stolen; I reported it; next day, I saw that same bike with a new lock parked in town; I called the cops and said that if they waited, they’d catch a thief red-handed; and then not one, but four cops came over, and waited for the bicycle thief. That was considerable overkill. But cops are human, and this probably seemed like an easy, enjoyable job that satisfied their ordinary human curiosity. As did MouseMaven’s adventure’s aftermath.
Ever seen a Mama Gator defending her nest? Hmmmm?
See, but it’s not just about danger to the kid. (The baby was relatively safe, although being in the center of a gigantic scene isn’t the safest place, I have to admit. Some well meaning bystander could have tried to grab the cart to stop it and knocked it over or something…odds are ridiculously stacked against it, but there’s a teeeeeeny bit of risk there. Anyway, it’s beside the point.)
What would make me bristle in this situation–and I can only speak for myself, obviously–is the lack of consideration he showed for his wife’s feelings. Here’s how the situation seems to me: He didn’t think of how scared she’d be by that, of how she was likely to react, and how much it would bother her. He was only thinking “Hee–I’m mischievous! Funny!” which, while hardly malicious, is careless and inconsiderate. If you (general, not specific) stop and think for a minute, you can see what a bad idea it is to deliberately make a mother think her child is being abducted. I’m not a mom, but I’ve routinely babysat kids in my family who I care very much about. Just as a responsible caretaker I’ve been in situations where a bit of OMGBABYINDANGER kicked in (2 year old runnng for the road, anyone?) and it was not a pleasant experience. Like I said before, I think this case would multiply my experiences by about a million. Reptiles aside–this is how humans react, and that’s what’s pertinent to this case.
I think it’s more the Vicious Killer Ape heritage. Don’t reptiles just lay eggs and leave?
I just tried to do some research on this and it seems the answer is different depending on the species of reptile. For most species, I couldn’t find anything out. But female alligators will protect their nests until the young hatch. Female crocodiles will protect their young for 2-3 years.
In finding that out, I found some other interesting facts about animal reproductive habits.
-Porpoises enjoy group sex.
-Most turkeys are bisexual.
-Some fish engage in fellatio.
More than you wanted to know.
Sounds like a volunteer to go to the mall and test the theory… Bawahahaha
Feelin’ a bit nitpicky… 
I know this is MPSIMS, but…cite? All I’m turning up is gender issues in Turkey. Was it just coolnurse?
Female cichlids sucking up sperm that’s squirted out next to the pelvic fin doesn’t count as fellatio, IMO, but I suppose that it might to someone compiling a loosely-thought-out bunch of Internet trivia bits, such as coolnurse, which is where I assume you got it from.
Nor do I buy the “giraffes are bisexual” thing, either.