I just came back from Toronto, and while in the hotel, I saw the most amazing sari on a woman who was obviously the bride of a wedding party. It was absolutely the most gorgeous dress I have ever, ever seen.
Ever since I was a teenager I have admired these dresses. They are just so pretty and feminine. But, being white (half European, half Puerto Rican) I always thought that people would think I was an idiot for wearing one.
Could I pull this off? Would Indians be offended if I wore one? Does it have some kind of religious meaning I am unaware of? Why don’t more women wear these fabulous gowns?
I don’t know if you can wear a sari- I’m waiting for them to be a little “Americanized” or something so I can wear one, too. The cloth is usually beautiful and the styling looks very comfortable, too.
A few days ago at work, we were treated to a viewing of the wedding album of a newly married Indian coworker. She had about 7 formal gowns for the (what seemed like) 4 day ceremony- each one more beautiful than the last.
I was once invited to a Muslim wedding. After giving me an invitation, the man came back a few minutes later and said “Uh, you know you can’t really attend, right? Just come to the reception afterward.” The reception was listed as 9:30 at night, but I was happy to be invited and happy to go. Then he came back and said “Uh, you know it’s not really at 9:30, right? We usually run a couple of hours late, so come at midnight.” Thinking that couldn’t be right, I arrived around 10:30… and sat around for about an hour and a half!
That still cracks me up. And the reception was a blast, too.
I’m Indian and no, I wouldn’t be offended if you wore one. In fact, I’m wracking my brains trying to think of any Indian person I do know that would even care if/when a white person wore a sari and I can’t come up with anyone.
I think more people don’t wear them b/c if you’re not used it, it can be a pain + I found the wrapping slightly tricky and my mother still wraps me when I put it on b/c she thinks my pleats are half-assed. The only thing I sometimes think when I see a non-Indian wearing a sari is that they look uncomfortable and have bad posture but occasionally I see even very shy Indian women making the same mistake. Good posture and knowing precisely how to stick your boobs out will determine your sari-wearing success/failure IMO. The first time I wore a sari and hunched over to conceal my knockers my mother straightened my shoulders and said “god knows where you inherited them but if you don’t want to look like a lame buffalo then you had better start strutting about like a peacock” or something similarly pastoral in Marathi.
myrnajean, if you are from Elmwood Park Illinois, can I recommend Devon Avenue between about Kimball and Western? Its the Indian neighborhood and quite fun and vibrant. There are several stores that specialize in saris, ie “Sari Palace”.
Lottsa good sounding restaurants, too…but I haven’t been to any I’m afraid.
I’m kind of curious how boob placement is so essential on this garment
Lots of people of Indian descent where I live. In the summer time, I can only imagine that a woman would be quite comfortable in a sari (while I’m boiling inside my work uniform with its wickedly uncomfortable collar!)
Well, try wrapping a towel diagonally across your boobs, and see if it looks right the first time I’m a guy, so I can’t really offer any boob advice, but I’ve been around sari-wearers for my entire life.
There have been quite a few “sari advice for whitey” threads, myrnajean, and your wearing a sari won’t offend an Indian any more than, say, a Frenchman seeing an American wearing jeans. You certainly have my blessing.
My mother used to wear saris to formal events (my brother’s wedding, for example) as often as she’d wear a gown or business suit, and she was so used to friends admiring them that she began giving saris and sari-wrapping lessons as birthday presents.
I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t wear one. I’d do some research, though. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a white woman wearing a kimono, but if it’s a 40+ year old woman wearing a red kimono with long sleeves, then there’s something wrong with it. I don’t know anything about saris (except that I agree they’re beautiful), but there might be certain cuts or designs that are traditionally reserved for particular occasions or age groups.
No Indian is going to be offended if you wear a sari! Heck, most will likely end up impressed/pleased/amused.
There are a few traditions re: the colour of the sari, but only an ueber-conservative great-grandmother will take you to task for violating said traditions. Off the top of my head, a plain white sari with absolutely no design/embroidery symbolises widowhood. A red sari is usually reserved exclusively for brides (I could be wrong about the exclusive bit though).
That’s all I can think of… go ahead and try it out!!
My MIL dressed me in a sari for a party the week before my husband and I were married. (My in-laws are Marathi; I am a total white girl.) She had so much fun putting it on me and everyone was pleased, not offended.
However, I do second anu-la. It was not the most comfotable thing I ever wore, because I kept feeling like it was falling off. (Yes, I have a big chest. Don’t know if that makes the difference.) For my wedding, I was thinking of wearing a sari but decided against it (windy lake front, a dress falling off, etc) and wore instead a lehenga-choli (sp?) which is a straight skirt and a tight, short top. It was very comfortable; you might want to do that, instead.
We bought my lehenga-choli at Indian Sari Palace on Devon, just west of Western. There are several good shops there. Also, for lunch, my in-laws only eat at Tiffin House. Apparently that is the most ‘authentic.’
Long-sleeved kimono (furisode) are worn only by unmarried women. A young woman typically gets her first furisode for her coming-of-age ceremony at age 20, so if you see a woman in a furisode it’s a sign that she’s old enough to marry but is still “on the market”. I don’t believe it’s actually verboten for older unmarried women to wear furisode because I’ve seen middle-aged enka singers on TV in them, but past A Certain Age I think it’s usually considered kind of pathetic. AFAIK red furisode have no special significance (although RindaRinda may know more than me on this point), but bright colors like red are also associated with young, unmarried women. So an older woman going around in a red furisode is going to look about as silly as she would wearing a hot pink prom gown.
It’s not the placement of your boobs but how you hold yourself in terms of sticking your chest out and holding your shoulders straight. As jeevwoman noted, if you are chesty-the first time can be something of an embarrassment and there’s the incessant worry about it slipping off but I think it’s true for any chest size if you don’t wear them from a very young age. Certainly I didn’t wear one until adolescence and it took a couple of years of my mother poking in my back and snarking her mystifying country metaphors to develop my carriage. If you wear it without the paloo pinned to your shoulder, posture is extremely important but even if you wear it pinned it looks much better if you straighten your shoulders and stick out your chest properly-but not too much supposedly.
The sari blouse is usually exactly fitted to your body. If your posture is really, really bad, the bottom edge of your bra might show underneath the edge of the blouse. And even if it doesn’t, the material that goes over your shoulder will pouf out, making you look much larger than your actual size.
I wore a sari for the Hindu portion of my wedding (we somehow managed to compress five days of ceremonies into about an hour and a half by cutting out more or less everything but the most necessary), and have a number of them for my and my husband’s visit to India next year. I’m as white as white can be, and my husband and his entire family are Indian, and no one seemed to mind me being in a sari.
I second the recommendation that you shop on Devon. They have some wonderful shops, and excellent south Indian food.
Although, I would like to amend my statements to refer to the most prevalent way of wrapping a 5-yard sari. I know the Gujaratis wrap it in a different manner and there’s also the ghastly (IMO) 9 yard sari of Tamil Nadu and Maharashtra (but at least in my experience the only people who wear 9 yard saris are traditional grandmothers). I have no idea whether or not posture is important there. There may be more methods of wrapping but I’ve never seen them.
My mom was born in southern India – her father was avoiding being drafted into Korea by teaching math – and loves saris. She doesn’t wear them often, but I’ve seen her do it. People have wondered out loud how she can wear them without strategic pins.
I wouldn’t try to wear one without somebody who really knows how to wrap one teaching me how. They’re not as accident-prone as they look if you do it right, apparently.
Don’t see why not, I am also as white as you can get…
I wear salwar kameez around in the summer because they are comfy, and my only ‘formal’ outfit is a beautiful purple and gold sari that I wear over a [nonmetallic] gold choli. Now if I could only find directions on how to wrap a sari as pantaloons …
I’m a guy, so I can’t really offer any boob advice, but I’ve been around sari-wearers for my entire life.
Hopefully I can get up enough nerve to wear one this summer.