I strongly disagree here, as one of the most important thing a citizen of a democracy should be aware of is civil disobedience. In fact, I’d say that there are times when, if someone strongly enough disagrees with the course the democracy has chosen, it is that person’s DUTY to interfere with that course, presumably with nonviolent resistance. However, this is an option that should only be used when morality and ethics demand it, in order to right injustice, not just because you voted for the other guy.
As to the main question of the thread, it’s an interesting one. Certainly, it seems trivially clear that someone who truly loves the USA wants what is best for the USA in the long term, which could potentially involve wishing for outcomes which many in the USA would view as defeats in the short term. For instance, if person A would view it as a defeat if the US were to pull out of Iraq right now, but person B thinks that we should pull out of Iraq right now, then, from person A’s perspective, person B is wishing for the US to be defeated.
There’s a very big step, though, when it comes to actually wishing for the defeat of US soldiers on a relatively small scale, as that almost inevitably leads to wishing for the deaths of US soldiers. That is something that I would find very hard (although not necessarily impossible) to reconcile with true patriotism.
To sum up, a patriot should, imho:
-ALWAYS wish for what is best for the their country, in the long term (reading “their country” to mainly mean “their country’s people”)
-OCCASIONALLY, HESITANTLY wish for things which seem like defeats or setbacks for their country in the short term
-ALMOST ALMOST ALMOST ALMOST ALMOST NEVER wish for the their country to suffer military defeats, at least those that involve loss of life
And, in general, a good person should wish for what is best for all people of the world, in the long term. If you find that this wish opposes the above, patriotic, wishes, that might be a sign that your country is in the wrong.