I think, in modern fashion, the distinction between “old” and “young” is a lot fuzzier than in the past.
Yes, at the extremes something like an 80 year old woman wearing a crop top is probably ill-advised. But between that, I think anything goes; it’s just a matter of noticing changes to your body and the situation that you’re dressing for – something that’s as true at 20 as at 80.
What I mean is, it’s not “This t-shirt is not for a man of your age” but more “This t-shirt is going to draw attention to your midsection spread. It’s not a good choice if you want to look your best”.
On the subject of judging people, yes it’s interesting. I think it would be rude to say anything to anyone other than a close friend. But I think it’s fine in forums like this, where most of us are just trying to give opinions on how people can look their best rather than on body shaming.
And it’s not like I am discussing this topic only as a “judge”: I do try to research what styles make sense for a man of my age (43), and I have started a thread on this topic (it was about whether men 40+ can wear the short trousers no socks look).
Sure, I don’t have a problem with being “recreationally judgey” of people’s appearance in as kind and discreet a way as possible. What I don’t know about how other people evaluate my looks doesn’t hurt me.
I’m just pointing out that the concept of “how people can look their best” comes with a huge amount of its own societal and cultural baggage. There’s no aesthetic criterion for “best look” that is totally uninfluenced by systemic cultural prejudice in various forms.
Just earlier I was listening to a discussion on radio 4 about how big body shaming was in the 2000s and 2010s in the UK. There were many top rated shows about “what not to wear” and “how to look good naked”, let alone shows that promoted cosmetic surgery.
I don’t think those shows were as mean-spirited as they were implying in the discussion, but point taken that a whole generation may have got the message that they need to fret at all times about their appearance.
And of course, now we have a generation spending their time looking at photoshopped images of already unreasonably good-looking “influencers”, taking countless selfies and feeling that there’s something wrong with them.
Although, even here there may be nuance…part of me thinks that this is just the current way that older generations want to look down upon the younger generation now.
I say that, because there have been a few instances here in the UK where the news have made headline news about research that showed a negative impact of social media, and yet the actual research cited was quite equivocal or even showed a net positive impact.
That “kids these days” are just superficial and manipulated by instagram et al is one of the latest things that society wants to believe.
Give up caring about what I look like. I don’t see what’s wrong with that.
I feel better when I know that I look nice. And I wear sweats, t-shirts, etc all the time. I wouldn’t wear sweats to go out unless I have to make a quick run to Walmart for something. I also don’t get all dressed up unless it’s an event of some sort. My everyday clothes are jeans, t-shirts, sweaters, capris, and tanks. Those clothing items are in current styles. I’m not wearing the jeans that I wore in 1985 (although, I’m sure they’ll be back). I fix my hair every day and put on makeup.
Maybe what they gave up is dressing for work, because they are retired, and/or dressing for sexual attention because they either have a permanent mate or they’ve abandoned that pursuit. Perhaps being comfortably shlumpy is what makes them happy.
There’s nothing wrong with caring what you look like, but for a lot of women, it is nothing but a burden, that they drop as soon as they can afford to.
The idea that those women have “given up” is a judgement upon them, as if there is a social requirement that women must present their dressed bodies to the public in a certain proper way or be condemned.
Back when all women wore their hair long, and put it up during the day, and coloring was rarely done, I suspect most older women just kept their hair long. Plus, it was a society expectation.
My mother hated long hair and would never let me grow it out when I was young. When I hit my teenage years she’d grumble about it but didn’t force the issue. Still, I never grew it all that long.
Now that I’m in my 60s though… when Covid hit, my normally chin-length hair was a bit overdue for a trim. Until vaccines became available, it didn’t seem worth the risk, to go have it cut.
And now that vaccines ARE available (and I am vaxed etc.), it’s become sort of a hobby. My hair is now longer than it has ever been in my life. Not quite waist length - but pretty close.
Not that I ever spent much time styling the hair - I was lousy at it, and finally went with a cut where I could just let it air dry - but with it this long, about all I CAN do is braid it or put it up in a hair clip - so there’s a time savings there.
That’s how my hair got long…I didn’t know what to do with it anymore, so I stopped doing anything. That’s been years ago now, and I still haven’t come up with any ideas! I tell you what though, I put in less effort than ever before, and it still looks all right.
They may just like the feel. I’m male, and I’ve twice grown my hair out to below my shoulders. I can’t explain it, but there was something indescribably enjoyable about feeling my ponytail on my back. In fact, even now in my mid-fifties, I occasionally dream that my hair is long enough to band, and I wake disappointed. (Alas, a dream is all it will ever be anymore; since I started thinning on the top and thickening in the middle, growing out my hair would make me a clean-shaven version of Comic Book Shop Guy from The Simpsons)
A pony tail is different. It’s long loose hair that drives me crazy when I’m exercising enough to sweat. It makes my body temp feel like it rises 10 degrees.