I am in my late fifties, but have been told that I look younger. A female relative has tut-tutted at me several times for wearing short shorts and long hair. She says that a woman my age who does not dress and coif herself in a dignified, matronly manner will be laughed at behind her back.
I’m not going to change the way I dress or the way I wear my hair; my husband thinks I have sexy legs, and he likes long hair, even on an old lady like me. I’m not tarted up with a lot of makeup, and I doubt that anyone would mistake me for a hooker. But the shorts are quite short, and the hair is quite long, and there we have it.
So, given that nobody is likely to convince me to stop being the way I am, I’m curious. Just how much mockery do women like me receive behind our backs?
I think many of us have grown to admire ladies like you who wear what they like.
My mom is nearly 79 but looks and acts somewhat younger. She’d hate to be prim and proper with her hair in some fancy up-do. She’s also a Red Hatter, which helps.
I know a woman that’s almost 50, and she’s a real piece of work. She’s Latina, and she bleaches her hair blonde constantly, yet she always shows black roots. She wears tight, low-slung jeans and belly shirts. She has multiple piercings (including tongue) and tatoos, including on her hands. Her personalized license plate reads NAWTYONE. You don’t sound anywhere close to her with regards to not “acting your age”.
I don’t snark about her behind her back, and I do think she’s a fairly nice person (if a little moody), but I can’t really say that I respect her choices. Strikes me as just kind of odd that someone that age has so much in common with women in their 20’s.
In your case, long hair and short shorts aren’t necessarily inappropriate, as long as your ass cheeks aren’t hanging out or anything. I don’t see the problem.
Maybe quite a bit, maybe very little. It’s the rare woman after 40 who looks good with long hair, but you might be one of them.
I work with a woman in her late fifties who does hair, makeup and clothes suitable for a 20 year old, instead of the 57 or 58 she is. Not only that, but like an overdressed 20 year old. Behind her back, the kids at the high school call her the Prostitue Subsitute. Cruel, but apt in her case. I think if she had any realistic idea what she looks like, she would stop cold.
I see other older woman occasionally who seem to think they look just dashing in their sporty convertibles and halter tops, with hair poufed out to a foot away from their heads. They look awful, but as long as they are happy, I don’t really care.
It depends, I think on what is meant by ‘acting one’s age’. If she meant dressing like a 50 year old used to, years ago (ie like a granny) then I think she’s wrong. Furthermore, I don’t think 50+ women (or even 60 or 70+ women) need to stay at home and knit baby things all day long. We’re quite different from the 50 year old women our mothers and grandmothers were.
I don’t consider that I dress in a matronly fashion but I wouldn’t dress like a teenager either. The phrase “mutton dressed up as lamb” springs to mind here.
I’ve never heard a case made against long hair on older women. Anyway I don’t really know how much mockery you might get behind peoples back but I know I’ve occasionally commented to my wife about women and men who dress inappropriately for a variety of reasons.
At a Star Trek convention a couple years ago we got to see the lady who played Yeoman Rand in the original series. She looked just fine for a woman in her early 60’s but I thought she was a little long in the tooth to show that much cleavage.
Seeing Debra Harry on television recently I thought she was a bit old to be dressing like she did in the early 80’s.
It’s a little hard to give you a definitive answer without knowing what you look like. When you say short shorts does that mean your ass is hanging out? Does long hair mean past your shoulders who halfway down your legs?
They seem to have a great time. I think they feel a bit more comfortable in all the red and purple when there are dozens of others doing the same thing around them.
Younger women can join too but they wear pink and lavender.
My Grandmother used to harp at me to cut my hair once I became a mother, and I was all of 21! In her mind, long hair is for young girls and teens and not adult women, period. Dunno if that’s just how it used to be, a cultural thing, her particular oddity or what, but just saying I’ve at least heard of it before.
Personally, I find long salt and pepper or all white hair weird. I once knew a woman with jet black hair with just a sprinkling of shiny silver strands that looked like natural highlighting, but usually long hair that’s going grey looks bad to me. I wear my hair long but think to myself that when I get tired of covering the grey is when I’ll cut it short.
If you are comfortable, do it. The hubby enjoys the view, even more reason.
My mom had that issue too. Then again, she has major issues with everything in the world.
Okay when I see someone who I guess to be a young looking early 30s or 40s dressed like she’s in her teens or 20s, I guess the impression I get is that she doesn’t want to give up her youth. Sometimes I see guys do that too, for sure. But by the time someone is in her late 40s or beyond, I think it’s kind of cool when they are all decked out with lipgloss and baby-t’s. I guess somehow I find it rebellious? I’ve met a couple of women like this, I call them the Suzanne Sommers ladies. I really like makeup and glitter and jewlery and suntans, but I don’t do that stuff because I’m in the career phase of my life and I’m not trying to be sexy, and I’m not trying to be younger, I’m just trying to look mature and be treated with respect. Sometimes I just want to go to the Stila counter and go on a spree but I know it will sit in a drawer. I know some women who are really established, own their own businesses, and they can get the sparkley pink cellphone cover to match their nails and who cares if someone thinks it looks dumb? Nobody will say they are trying to stay young, they are just enjoying themselves. I think that’s cool. So for me, once you pass 45 or 50 you should do and wear whatever you want because you’re an established woman and if people aren’t going to respect you, they aren’t going to even if you wear a hairnet and black boots. There’s no pleasing a lot of people.
I can understand you have to “dress for success” when you start out and get established but screw doing it forever! Not for life. Forget that!
I’m actually one of those women that thinks long hair is for younger woman. I just had my shoulder length hair cut into a pixie. I’ll be 35 this summer. For as long as I can remember I’ve had this sort of personal rule roaming around in my head - most older women just can’t pull off long hair. Of course, that doesn’t mean all. Hell, it might not even mean me, but I just couldn’t avoid it. I had to hack it off.
I’ve been called on this before, and honestly, I have no definitive answer as to why I think this way. My mother is 58 and has long hair, probably mid-to-lower back length.
It all depends on the situation and the style of clothing, and there are obviously exceptions to the rule, but I know I’ve shaken my head at a few dolled up senior citizens in mini-skirts and knee high boots wandering around the grocery store. I just can’t help it. Kudos to them for having the chutzpah to attempt to pull off an outfit typically suited to younger women, but the key word there is attempt.
pinkfreud, you sound like you can wear those short shorts and long hair! I say go for it! My feeling is that any woman who’s in decent physical shape and can put a cool outfit together (whether funky or traditional) should enjoy flaunting it a bit.
I think the thing against older women with long hair is basically because it makes most people look older. Long hair accentuates gravity’s effect on your face, dragging things downward visually. It doesn’t look bad if it’s put up, I’ve noticed.
I think there are some limits to what is tasteful but if one is comfortable with long hair and short shorts and they’re over 40 and look good, what’s the problem? I have worn my hair long and straight for over 10 years. I hadn’t even cut if for about 5. Last year I finally had 12 inches cut off and donated it to Locks of Love. It was down to my butt at the time, after the haircut it was still long, in the middle of my back. Now it’s halfway down my back again. I usually wear it in a braid when I’m working. I just don’t like trying to maintain a particular hairstyle and I’ve found that shorter styles require more trimmings and more work to keep them.
I don’t wear short shorts but my usual attire is jeans and t-shirts. You won’t see me in polyester elastic waisted pants anytime soon. But if I managed to lose 15 to 20 pounds I might wear short shorts and belly-shirts, too.
Cripes, what a bunch of prigs. Gray hair and wrinkles and you think a woman. Uh-oh, she doesn’t know how to dress appropriate to her age, strap her to a rocking chair. pinkfreud, you won’t get any qualified approval from me. You have no one to please but yourself and I bet you look damn good because that’s how you are comfortable.
For every bit of mockery there’s a guy for every decade betwixt teens and 90s who sees a self-defined gal with long greywhite hair and wishes and wants for that.
I’m definitely among them at 47.
I have the same feelings for vervish willful females in their 60s. Not he ones who’ve hung themselves out to dry and look like it though.
Thanx for your frank comments, folks. The “long gray hair” remarks don’t apply to me, though. I am a redhead with exactly three gray hairs. Four, if you count the one in my right eyebrow. Family history of not going gray until age 80 or so, at which point you’re a whackaloon and everybody excuses you because of the redheaded gene.