So Mrs. Cardigan and her mother are going at it hammer and tongs because of some remark her mother made to her along the lines of “you should get your hair cut shorter or some style that’s more suitable for an older woman”.
Got me wondering what is meant by ‘older’ and ‘younger’ haircut styles. My first thought was an ‘older’ haircut style might be something that’s decades out of date, but apparently that’s not it. I am to understand that certain women’s haircuts are simply “suitable” in appearance based on one’s age. Once one turns a certain age the same haircut one wore when they were younger is no longer appropriate. I had no idea this was even a thing.
Has anyone else heard of this before? And is there any sort of underlying rationale to it?
Well it is kind of a thing, if a little old fashioned. Women of my mom’s generation tended to cut their hair shorter as they got older. Partly because it seemed more dignified but perhaps it’s just that as your hair starts to thin, long hair just looks lank. I’ve been asking my hairdresser for about 5 years now…“do I HAVE to cut it short?” He says “Whatever for?” Somehow having long blond hair when approaching 60 seems a little incongruous, but I’m fighting what I’m hoping is an outdated notion. If Goldie Hawn can still get away with it why not me!
There’s a line of thinking that long hair isn’t suitable for women of a certain age and that they’d look better with a shorter cut. i believe the rationale is that hair thins as people age, and long thin hair isn’t attractive.
Yep; what the others said. Not only does the quality and quantity of most women’s hair diminish as they age, long hair around the face tends to drag the face down. Definitely not what you want when gravity is already at work.
As for the “dignified” aspect, I interpret that as some styles coming off as if the wearer is trying to look as they did in their youth. That can be very sad.
Finally, short doesn’t have to equal old. When I think of old lady styles it’s more the roller set, hair sprayed helmut head look. This cut looks pretty hip to me.
Most of the older women I know who cut their hair short are like me, it’s part of sloughing off the tedious uncomfortable costumery of making yourself look sexually alluring to men. My hair was waist length into my early forties, then I was done fussing with it. SO much easier short. The only older woman I know personally who has (very) long hair has thick silver hair and a lot of her identity is about how men see her, even at 65.
Many older women don’t have thin hair (my own is still as thick as ever), they just have run out of caring about the game. They stop wearing heels for the same reason – it’s a male fetish thing they are done with.
I like my long hair and I’m keeping it. Mine is much easier to care for when it’s long. If it’s cold it keeps my ears and neck warm. Mr. H likes it and his opinion matters, but I’m keeping it long for me, not because I’m making a conscious effort to be attractive to men.
My mom had short hair most of her life because my dad liked it that way, then when she dumped him she wore it a little longer but not much because she was in a professional environment that expected a very groomed look. When she joined my stepdad in his business as a partner she said “fuck this” and grew it out. Now she’s eighty and she cuts off five or six inches herself when it gets down to her ass. I’ve always had long hair because my face does not work well with it short and it’s so much easier to deal with long. I stopped coloring it a couple years ago and it’s almost completely grown out silver–just about two more inches of colored hair to get rid of. I cut it just below shoulder length in spring then let it go for summer–next time all the colored stuff will be gone and then I’ll probably adopt my mom’s approach unless it gets too annoying at length. So far, elbow length seems to be where it starts being in my way a lot but I’ve always wanted hair down to my ass so I’ll probably do that once, see how I like it then. I wear it in a ponytail or braid most of the time, which is super low maintenance and practical.
I’ve always worn it long, except as a child. It’s so much less maintenance. It’s beyond lazy hair! Just wash and go. Brush into a Ponytail, it couldn’t be easier.
I never coloured it, blow dry it, permed it only once (what a mistake!), rarely curl or straighten it, use no product and never go to the salon, a friend trims it. Bet I saved enough money to buy a car over my lifetime! It’s always been dark brown and is now just starting to grey. I don’t care.
My MIL, in her eighties, at every birthday would ask if now I was going to cut it. Nope. Not gonna happen. I hope, if I live to be 90, it’s in a long grey braid down my back! I don’t give a shit who likes it. Never have.
A couple times a year I get scolded for still having long hair past the age of 40. Some people get really upset about it, as if how I wear my hair has anything to do with them.
Some of it is linked to hair getting thinner as a woman gets older, but that doesn’t happen to every woman (my hair is still thick). Some of it is easier styles to care for. Some of it comes down to shoulder/joint problems - it would make caring for long hair much harder - which become more common with age.
But a good chunk of it is custom and nothing more.
I’m looking at 60 next year and I have hair down to the bottom of my shoulder blades. It’s still more brown than white, though there is a good mix. I’ve never gone for trends or what I “should” be doing for my age/height/weight/etc. I feel that if Mrs. Cardigan wants to keep her hair long and styled the way she wants it, then her mother should respect her wishes. End of story.
When I think of “old” women’s hair styles, I think short and permed. As others have mentioned, it’s an effort to hide thinning areas. I know one woman, however, who is almost completely bald. She plays in a senior band and never covers up her head, in or out of their performances. I admire her courage and self-confidence. She a wonderful human being and I say more power to her!
Yep, it’s totally a thing, and I’ve heard it before from people my own age. I don’t intend to ever get an “older woman” haircut. I’m 48, my hair is bra strap length, and currently very red with black underneath. I intend to keep growing it and keep dying it fun colors. It has nothing to do with how I look to men, and everything to do with loving how my hair looks and feels.
I get the point though. Not that i care what anyone else does with their hair, but i find, on myself, long hair pulls my face down. I’ve often had short haircuts over the years, but when i hit my late 30’s i cut it specifically for the idea that it would lift my face.
Ive also been colouring my hair since i was in my teens, because i started going grey at 18. Last year i decided to stop that too. Now I’m 45, with short grey hair, and i love it! It’s still really thick, so thank god for that, and i can style it in some pretty cool ways.
And also! I love grey and black, so my wardrobe blends pretty awesome with my hair.
I certainly wouldn’t tell anyone what they should do with their hair, but i would suggest, if asked, give a short cut a try.
My mother always nagged me to cut my hair, and rather than listen to her bitch, I kept it short. Then when she died (when I was 53) I didn’t cut it for 5 years, as my husband, like so many men, likes long hair. I’m also with elbows and others in preferring long hair as so much easier to care for - wash, dry, comb, ponytail, GO. You can also have tons of fun with hair gadgets - bows, decorative combs, barrettes and the like. I have a shopping bag full of fun hair decorations. And ironically, long hair is much cooler while exercising, because it is easy to keep it off your neck in a high ponytail. This is important when you exercise out of doors living in the tropics, like me.
However, I have somewhat reluctantly gone back to a shorter style (just long enough to put into a ponytail to get it off my neck for running - so it is somewhere between jaw and shoulder length). Why? Well, I look better with hair around my face, and I can leave my hair down when it’s shorter. When it’s long, it’s much too limp for that; my hair has thinned a bit with age, but even as a kid my hair was very fine and razor straight, so looked lank and hopeless just hanging down. Plus it is annoying to have long strands everywhere. So it was always in a bun or twist of some kind
The shorter style is much more flattering, I must reluctantly admit. I miss being able to play with lots of hair doodads, and really hate being a slave to getting my hair cut every few weeks - but the day-to-day improvement in how I look is worth it to me. (And it isn’t TOO short, so hubby still gets semi-longish hair.)
It’s old-fashioned. My mother thought that at 25 I should either put my hair up, all the time, or else cut it to more of a, hm, matronly style. However, I didn’t. It’s waist length, and now that I’m an old lady I do usually wear it up but not always.
I did see a funny thing play out on the street, where two women with good figures and long blonde hair were walking along, and a guy, obviously smitten, overtook them, only to turn and look kind of gobsmacked when he saw their faces. And then he walked on.
So of course I sped up, just to see what was going on, and it turned out these two blonde cuties were probably (likely) mother and daughter, with daughter being about 45. In other words, they looked much older from the front. If they’d had age-appropriate hairstyles this guy would not have been so disappointed.
Or hey, it could have just been that from the back he thought he knew them and then it turned out he really didn’t.
I’ve been scolded about what needs to happen with my hair; people just think they get to make personal remarks about a person when they really need is to butt out.
do men ever get told they need to change their hair/clothes/whatever? maybe, I don’t know.
