I’ve always had really long hair (which is also thick and curly) and never had a desire to have it short, other than the occasional fashionable bob for fun, which I would then grow back out pretty quickly. I have found only one short haircut on a curly-haired person I like. I also have a big fat face (no matter what size the rest of my body is) and longer hair helps me from looking too weirdly cherubic.
Now that I’m middle-aged, I can see the appeal. I don’t give a crap about propriety and what Isn’t Done, but I’m tired of washing it, conditioning it, brushing it, maintaining it. I have SD so showering frequently helps, but showering more often is a huge pain. I can’t just jump in, throw in some 2-in-1 and be done. It’s a Process. Dyeing takes forever and my aging arms get tired doing it.
And while I’m not middle-aged enough for menopause yet, I can imagine a HUGE factor in the short hair as you age thing is for the coolness. I might not cut my hair, but it’s rarely out of a braid or pulled back in a clip.
So on a hot summer day when my hair is knotty and unruly and I’m running low on shampoo, the appeal of taking 80% of my hair off is strong.
Oh yes, in previous generations this was most definitely a thing. When a woman got married, she either cut her hair shorter or wore it up in public (because hey, off the market, right?). As she aged, it was time for Helmet Hair!
My hairstylist and I were just discussing this a few months ago and how glad we are that this cultural expectation has thankfully gone away - we’re both in our 50s and she’s got gorgeous waist-length hair. Whatever looks and feels good to the owner of the hair is the right answer - not what anyone else thinks.
When I grow up, I want to be Emmy Lou Harris - I think she might have been the first example for me of a woman who bucked the cultural hair trend.
I had long straight hair for many years – waist length in college, shoulder or below length often, with a short perm phase till I accepted that curly and swept back was not gonna happen; my hair wanted straight and down and that was that. So I cut my own bangs across to clear my glassses, went to my hairdresser two or three times a year to get it banged off straight, sides and back, and kept it long enough to tie back with barrettes or put it in a ponytail.
It looked fine, and the gray came in a pure white around my face that was handsome against the dark blonde remaining in back. But somehow I always developed those annoying flyaway tendrils around my temples that look so untidy and niggled at my eyes. I got tired of having to brush out the tangles, or chewing on it in bed, or having it blow in my face outdoors, or feeling hot if I didn’t put it up in hot humid weather.
So one day I walked into my hairdresser’s shop and told her, “I want you to cut it – cut it off, enjoy! You finally get to use all your skills on me! I want…a pixie!” Well, she was delighted. She gave me just what I asked for and the results were just what I wanted. For straight, limp, and alas, thinning hair, it’s a great cut. I find it’s also way easier to take care of – a few quick strokes of the brush after my shower to lay the hair direction, a few fingertip tweakings to liven it, and off I go. My only regret is that I didn’t do it earlier.
On a slight tangent - in my area there seems to be a recent phenomena of middle-aged and older ladies getting their hair dyed blue or purple. I mean bright, saturated blue or purple, not the “blue hair” of prior generations. Anyone else seeing that trend?
We get some with the younger kids, too, but for the older women it seems quite a divergence, particularly when it’s a wide streak of color against white/grey or multi-hued.
I’m 50 and have never had anyone tell me my long hair was inappropriate for my age. It definitely used to be a thing that “older” women would wear short hairstyles that they would get set at the beauty parlor (a la The Golden Girls), but most of the 50-something women I know wear their hair more or less how they always have…probably at least half of them have hair that is at least shoulder length.
I have an acquaintance I see occasionally. She has longish white hair, with turquoise streaks in it. I’ve known her since 2008 and that’s how I’ve always seen her (but I only see her like I said, once or twice a year). It looks great, and I’m envious. I have always wanted to try turquoise. Purple is also a possibility. But first my hair has to get white, which it’s not doing.
The weird thing is that I am seeing YOUNG women putting GRAY into their hair. ???
I used to cycle between long hair and bobbed to chin length hair. These days it just won’t grow longer than shoulder length so I guess I’ve just aged out of long hair.
I have been seeing more colorful dyed hair within the past year or two – I think it’s part of the retro '90s look – but you’re right that this time it doesn’t seem to be just for the young. My 40-something boss dyed her hair purple a while back, saying she’d wanted to do so for years. So part of it may be that today’s middle aged women were young women in the '90s, either had or wanted colorful hair then, and figure that since it’s trendy again they might as well go for it.
You know what I think part of it is? Back in the 80’s or 90’s or whenever they were young, their parents wouldn’t let them dye their hair, or they didn’t feel self-confident enough to do it, or something. But now that they are older and more confident, and no one’s telling them it isn’t appropriate, they are having the fun they would have had when they were younger.
A very responsible, no-nonsense, dependable, get-'er-done friend of mine regularly dyes purple streaks into her blond hair. She’s been doing this for over 15 years to match her car(s), a purple PT Cruiser (a couple in succession). She doesn’t know what she’s going to do now that they no longer make those cars and hers is wearing out.
i have been targeting the bits of grey with aqua reef or turquoise splat. great stuff. i just tried emerald from another company, but it was more turquoise. i’m in the back at work so the colour doesn’t matter.
went with shorter hair when I broke the vacuum a few times and my cat ended up at the vet due to long hairs in her digestive track. thankfully it passed. rather have the cat than long hair.
Those are the same nosy parkers who ask when you’re going to get married/have a kid (as appropriate). [del]Fuck[/del] ignore 'em. DesertRoomie is in her fifties and hair down to her butt when it isn’t in a braid. She doesn’t get scolded for having it, but instead is constantly being told she should donate it to Locks of Love. “No thanks; it’d be at least twenty years to grow out again.”
When we married, I joshingly threatened DesertWife with divorce if she ever got one of those “sensible haircuts.” Alas, she died at age 49 so never had the temptation.
My maternal grandmother’s hair never reached the bottom of her neck. My paternal grandmother’s hair, she could sit on, but it was in a bun most of the time and in a braid to sleep. To me, one of the signs of a bad hairdresser is if they propose that I go blonde: why would I, when I’ve got maybe 6 white hairs among the brown? But ah, it’s age-appropriate!
My ass is age-appropriate too. It’s exactly the same age as the rest of me, that makes it age-appropriate.
I thought it was a throwback to young girls wearing their hair down, and women pinning their hair up. It used to be the custom that when you got married, you started pinning your hair up. If you weren’t married by about the age of 25 or so, you started pinning it up anyway. In debutante circles, girls who had “debuted” (or were “out” as the expression was at the time, before that came to mean something else) wore their hair up.
Personally, I wear my hair long and in a ponytail. It’s very curly, and I get a Jewfro when it’s short. I don’t want to fuss over it to straighten it. The ponytail is because it make phone cord-curls, and that really looks like kids’ stuff. But even if I let the Jewfro grow out a little, I still have kind of a Shirley Temple thing going on. If I want to look dignified, like if I were ever facing a jury or applying for a business loan, I’d probably pin it up.
My hair has thinned a tiny bit since I was young, but it was so gawd-awful thick when I was in my 20s, that it’s finally getting to be manageable about now.
In a braid my hair is currently down to my butt - it really is getting too long again but it’s surprisingly hard to find someone who is willing and able to do a blunt cut.
I generally donate to Locks of Love about every two years - which is how long it takes my hair to grow from shoulder to butt length. I have been blessed with hair.
I’ve never been told to wear my hair short. I’m way past 40, but I don’t have kids (other than the 25 in my classroom).
My hair is very fine and thin since a bad perm many years ago. I have been trying to convince my hairdresser to try a pixie-type cut for a year, but she keeps telling me it won’t work. I ask at the beginning of summer so I could decide if I liked it and would have time for it to grow out before school starts, but I haven’t been able to convince her yet.
So I keep getting the same bob I can wear with fabric headbands or barrettes (It’s too windy here to wear it down) and I’m so bored! Unfortunately, it also took me two years to find a decent hairdresser in this town, so it’s not like I have someone else to go to.
Enjoy your pixie cut!
