I am not sure if custom is the right word or not but I used it anyway for the title of this thread.
See this whole topic came up with my wife when she said she would keep her hair long until she was in her mid 30s. I was kinda of confused and said why do you want to cut your hair it is so pretty long? She said that that is what women do as they get into middle and older ages of life. When I went to get my hair cut at a salon in town I asked the beauticians if they thought this was a custom and they said yes also.
This just blew me away. I mean who started this custom or ritual for that matter? And why?
Don’t get me wrong I think some women look great in short hair but in general I think longer hair looks the best IMHO. So why is it women feel they have to cut their hair when they get older? Let’s look at this in greater detail.
Hair usually aways stays looking healthy maybe more grey but still healthier than the rest of the body. Where as the rest of our bodies wrinkles up and gets splotches and other things none of us look forward to hair for the most part stays looking good. So why cut off the one thing that would still look good. See what I am saying?
I have seen a few older ladies with long hair and they in my opinion look better that other older ladies with short old lady haircuts.
Now you could argue that maybe women are sick of their hair being hot and and hard to take care of and that’s fine to if that is the reason that some women cut their hair when they get older. But I don’t think women(in general) should have to cut their hair because of a stigma (I hope that is the right word to use here for something they feel like they have to do) when they get older.
Anyway, what are your thoughts on this?
Women: Is it a custom or tradition(or whatever the right word is to decribe what I am talking about) for ya’ll to cut your hair shorter when you get older? If there is one, why and how did it come about? Did one lady say I am sick of having long hair but didn’t want to be the only one with short hair so she started this tradition or what?
Men and Women: Do you agree or disagree that a older woman would look better in long hair than if it was shorter. In otherword more attractive? And be honest.
(wildest bill hoping to himself that this thread topic won’t get him tossed into the pit again :eek: )
David Feldman tackles this question in one of his Imponderables books.
He gives many answers, including: Its easier to take care of, especially if you have small children.
It just doesn’t look as good.
Personally, I am all for long hair and don’t plan to cute mine to an acceptable length as I age.
Cher has been kind of a pioneer in this area for me; a woman who is older, yet doesn’t have to look like Harriet Nelson.
Here’s my opinion, but I’m not going to be gender specific:
A.Shorter hair is neater, cleaner and easer to manage.
B.It looks more professional.
C.After a certain age, I think most people become comfortable with themselves and don’t need to hide behind a lot of hair (before you flame me, it’s the reason I had long hair for a long time)
D.As people get older, they are busier and not as vain and don’t have time for elaborate brushing, styling and grooming.
I shouldn’t really talk since I have a longish rats nest, but I think short hair is the coolest. To me, there’s nothing more unappealing than someone with a mop on his/her head or gross stringy scraggles dangling across his/her face.
It’s not a custom or a tradition - it’s convenience.
Personally, I think women should keep their hair at whatever length they think is flattering. That being said, there are few things more pitiful than an older women looking like she’s trying to compete with Britney Spears.
Farrah Fawcett comes to mind.
I know one or two of these women live in my neighborhood. It’s painful for me to watch a full-grown women make an ass out of herself trying to dress and look like a teenager again. I just want to say, “Honey, you are a lovely woman. But, please, do us all a favor and lower your hemline. Because, to be perfectly frank, all the men’s eyes are on your * daughter’s * legs and not yours.”
Lord knows, I’d rather risk looking older than risk looking pathetic.
I’ve always had short hair, so I may not be the *best * person to answer this, but I think there are a few reasons:
Hair, as you age, sometimes gets brittle and dry and looks healthier when it’s shorter.
Some women, myself included, feel that a short haircut is more professional and mature. When I have long hair, I look like a little girl…and feel like one, too. A short, neat cut makes some women feel more independent and in control.
Finally, whoever mentioned the relation to short hair and having kids is onto something. I know my mother cut her hair short when she had us kids because we were constantly yanking on it. I don’t have kids yet, but I’ll probably make sure I keep my hair short and my earrings non-dangly.
Some older women look fantastic with long hair, some look like they’re trying to hold onto their youth in vain.
Actually, short hair is harder to manage. Long hair just has to be brushed and occasionally trimmed; short hair has to be styled every day and cut every few weeks.
Damned if I’m cutting mine when I get older. Jane Goodall is one of my heroines.
I have had my hair various lengths during my life. For most of my first marriage it was short; I had three children and both he and I worked full time.
Now when I am middle-aged (46) I have it longer and lightened. It makes me feel younger, and it is inexpensive. I have it cut every six months, and I use a spray bottle of “Sun In” and a blow dryer to make it blonder. I do very little with it beside wash and comb it.
I have been unemployed and am currently in office technology training. I have been told by various people that it would be more professional to have it cut, or at least put it “up” (which I have never been able to do with much success).
PLisa, while I agree with you about women wearing their hair any length they like, I must challenge your statement that men only enjoy observing the limbs of attractive teenagers.
Women in their thirties, forties, fifties, whatever, often have extremely fine legs. I see no reason their owners should confine them to trousers and ankle-length skirts. Trust me, they’ll be admired.
I know for personal experience that long hair can be time consuming to manage, so that might be the biggest reason some people decide to shorten it.
If it really bothers you WB, offer to help your wife with her hair care. Offer to brush it and apply the conditioners, etc. It could be a great bonding experience. wink
I did the shoulder-length perm thing when I was in high school. (Yuck!) The summer after my freshman year in college, I got it all chopped off to just about a crewcut (and got contacts to boot). Most of my friends didn’t recognize me in the fall. Except for one brief two-year period of growing it out, I kept the buzz for about 13 years. It was easy to take care of, distinctive, and made the most of my slightly curly, cowlicky hair.
But then the woman who cut my hair decided to become a nun. :eek: Great for her, but I didn’t want to go through finding a new person. So I started to let it grow again. This was in April 1998, and now my hair is just past my shoulders, the longest it’s ever been. This is also the first time I’ve let it all grow out – no bangs.
I’m thinking I’ll never have short hair again (I’m 33), and here’s why: (1) More hair helps balance out my increasingly, uh, womanly figure. (2) I’ve never really had a chance to try all the fun “hair toys” that are out there. (3) The gray hairs are starting to show up in my dark brown hair. Now most people would run to the colorist, but: My mother and her two sisters all have beautiful silvery hair (that was once brown like mine), and I’ve always admired the look of women with long gray/silver hair, worn neatly in a braid or pulled back in a barrette. I think it’ll be cool. I’m actually hoping for the gray to come in quickly!
My hair has almost no natural body and when it hangs long and straight, it is MOST unflattering. Its fineness makes it a real pain to comb when it gets tangled, and tangle it does whenever we go sailing. If I had my druthers, I’d keep it short and layered - low maintenance is GOOD! But hubby has asked me to grow it out, and for HIM, I’m now sporting a shoulder-length blunt cut. I think I look hideous. I’m about to find someone who can cut it so it looks longer but complies with my wash-and-go lifestyle.
FWIW, I’m 37, and have long hair.
I had my hair cut to shoulder-length five years ago, and I hated it. I couldn’t tie it back to get it out of my way while working, and it drove me nucking futs. In the photos I have of myself at that time, I look much older than I do now.
When I’m old, I plan on dressing in colorful, eccentric clothes (picked up on my travels), and wearing my hair in a long, silver braid down my back. I want to be an interesting old gal. No short, fluffy hair for me!
I am 27, childless and have long hair, about to the middle of my back. It takes A LOT of care and styling to look good. (I don’t have the kind of hair that I can just wash and go without doing any styling. And do you know how TANGLED long, straight, fine hair gets in a day? It’s a NIGHTMARE!) This is a major drawback for me because it takes me a lot longer to get out of the house for work in the mornings, unless I wear my hair up (which I do 3 or 4 days a week). However, Mr. Sunshine LOVES my long hair and begs me not to cut it. I have promised that I will keep it long until we have a baby, at which point I will no longer have the time (or energy, probably) to mess with my hair so much. I look really bad with a short-short boyish hair cut, so I won’t be cutting it all off, but I will definitely be getting a shorter, easier hairstyle. Possibly when our kid(s) are older I may grow it longer again. That would be the major reason I would cut my hair, and it really doesn’t matter what age–it’s the circumstances. If I could find a long hairstyle that was easy to take care of, quick to style, and looked good on me, I would do it. (And I don’t want a perm.)
There is also the fact that I am very short and have freckles and tend to look like a little girl sometimes when I wear my hair down. I do think it would look more professional and mature if it was a shorter, trendier style. Luckily my job does not really require me to look too professional so it’s not that big of a deal.
Long hair is sometimes more difficult to care for. When I had short hair, it was wash, dry and away!
Especially in a warmer climate, it does feel icky on the back of my neck.
I have a difficult time finding clips and accessories to hold my hair up that are not either 1) trendy and designed for little girls and teens, or 2) covered in rhinestones (unsuitable for everyday wear).
Split ends look ugly! (see below)
Coloring (covering grey hair) at the salon is more expensive for long hair.
My hair will not hold a curl for more than ten minutes (the drowned-rodent look).
IMHO, short hair makes a woman look more professional and authoritative.
However, I like my long hair (I’m letting it grow again). * I always had short hair as a kid, and it’s my mini-rebellion.
I stopped coloring it, because I am learning to like the strands of grey (I hate getting touch-ups) and my hair is much healthier.
Roommate likes my long hair, especially washing and brushing it. If only I could get him to learn how to braid it. (2 out of 3)
Long hair story (and “Elizabeth” spoiler)-
Roommate was taking me out to dinner and a movie, so on the way home I stopped to get my bangs trimmed (needed them done anyway). While I was there, my stylist recommended I cut off a good amount of hair because I had serious split ends (I trust my stylist).
Well I ended up getting about 12 inches cut off, leaving my hair about mid-neck. I wrapped the cut-off hair in a ribbon and brought it home to Roommate. He was stunned and a little peeved that I had not warned him so he could be prepared for the shock. After a lot of words (including about how I was reluctant to get married), we settled down and went to see “Elizabeth”. Meanwhile he is still fuming about my hair.
At the end of the movie, Elizabeth is sick of being pestered to get married, hacks her hair off, puts on white makeup and ‘becomes a virgin’.
At that point, Roommate turns to me and said, “You planned this!” Then very quietly, “You don’t own white makeup, do you?”
<Swear to gawd, I didn’t know that was going to happen.>
:I type slowly - when I started this post, stuyguy was the only respondant!:
I too like others think that long grey/silver hair on a woman is attractive and makes them look cooler.
But I have noticed from some of the post that it is not professional to have long hair in the workplace. I think that is total BULL and is wrong wrong wrong. I mean who made up that custom that a woman shouldn’t have long hair in a work enviroment? I women should be able to wear her hair the way she wants too. I mean this discrimination against first men having long(which I always thought was bull) now is moved to women.
What is it about long hair that bothers people? I mean we are not talking about piercings all over ones face(not that I mind it totally or anything)but we are just talking about hair. Why can’t a woman have long hair in the workplace or why is it not considered professional? I think that is just bullcrap and should be changed.
Freyr,
I know exactly what you mean and I love washing my wife’s hair and other things for that matter.
Well, for one thing long hair on a woman gives the impression that she is more vain–if it looks good, that means she is spending time on it every day, which implies that she the type that dedicates large chunkls of time to her apperance. A secratary type. A professional look is one that looks good but effortless, impling that the person in question thinks of nothing but their job. This may not be true–lord knows some pageboy cuts can be a lot of work–but when we are talking about a apperences it is knee-jerk reactions that matter.
Also, short hair is traditionally assciated with “liberated” women–in the twenties it was a daring and racy thing to do. Long hair still carries connotations of domestic life, while short hair implies someone lives more in the public sphere.
On a sidenote, has anyone ever noticed that divorcing women almost always cut their hair? When a woman has finally made the decision to leave a relationship and accepted that it is over there seems to be this irresitable compulsion to go get a radically new haistyle.
I just thought of one thing that I don’t like about my long hair. I have a four-month old baby, and if I forget to put my hair back, he sometimes will barf in my hair after a feeding. Yikes!
I am 36 and have long hair. To buck the trend of people saying that short hair is easier to take care of, my main reason for keeping my hair long is I think LONG is easier to take care of. I pull it back in a ponytail or put it up in a barrette or clip, and poof, it’s out of my way and I don’t have to worry about styling it. I also have the option of wearing it down if I so choose. I can’t do that if it’s short. I think that long hair pulled back in a bun or french twist or some such style looks very professional and elegant.
Two observations I’ve made about my elder female family members:
We have fine hair to begin with in my family and getting older changes the texture even more making it increasingly difficult to get longer hair to behave–untangle, stay in clips, scrunchies or bobby pins, etc.
As gravity effects the facial muscles and makes it sag a bit more, long hair along the face can draw attention to the sag rather than drawing attention away from it.
For the record…I’m 30 and normally wear my hair medium to medium short or collar length…though I do sometimes let it grow out for a while. My mother wears hers fairly short now, and it flatters her more than longer styles do.
