It is a perception, not necessarily a custom. Look at ads and photos of women in business. Stereotypes in movies and TV add to that perception.
Women with shorter hair (or hair pulled back in a severe bun) are perceived as neat and efficient (often coupled with a bitchy, take-no-prisoners, ice-queen attitude).
Long-hair is often perceived as romantic, mysterious and exotic: look at the cliche of the beautiful business woman or straight-laced librarian removing her glasses and ‘letting her hair down’. “My God, Ms./Professor/Dr. Horowitz, you’re…you’re…beautiful!” stammered the CEO/Chief Surgeon/man of high power and status.
(I could go into a whole diatribe on feminism and male-dominated workplace attitudes, but for the sake of brevity and not moving the thread to Great Debates, I won’t. Besides, I’m sick from work and don’t feel like arguing, een though it’s on my own time.)
women - Romantic, mysterious, exotic (and vain - thank you Manda JO, that’s the word I was looking for).
men - Anti-social, hippies, freaks, and non-team players (conglomeration of quotes from past bosses (males and females) who would not hire long-haired males)
[/MHO]
Again, I have to learn to contemplate less and type faster.
And I personally like long, well-cared-for hair on a man.
Checking in here: 35, no kids, long hair. I can’t comment on the professional aspect of having long or short hair as I have never worked in an office or job where that is considered.
IMO, long hair is cooler in the summer because I can put it up in a ponytail or braids and get all of it off my neck. When I had shorter hair (back when I was in my twenties), some of it always was to short to get up and I hated it stuck to the back of my neck.
I can French braid my hair and it is very well contained and only takes a minute to do. I do this when my hair is slightly damp still. I don’t think short hair saves any time in the long run when you factor in the time it take to get it cut every six weeks.
You know, Wildest Bill, you and I don’t agree on much, but I’m with you on this one.
Long hair looks much better, and I find it really annoying that women “of a certain age” tend to lop it off.
For my money, a woman who cuts off her hair instantly adds a few years of age to her appearance.
I think the reason most women cut their hair off is for the sake of convenience and comfort. To me, it almost can be taken as a sign of surrender to age.
Like you, WB, I love the look of long grey or silver hair on an older woman. It seems very elegant.
As for the perception that long hair on an older woman is “unprofessional,” I believe that to be a perception held almost exclusively by other women. I don’t think men feel the same way. To be perfectly truthful, I must say that I think women who have cut their hair sometimes harbor some simmering resentment of the women who have chosen not to do so. It’s as if there is a peer pressure among women to lop off their hair. To those of you who haven’t cut off your hair: Don’t cave in to the pressure! You look great!
Not me. I don’t think I ever got my hair cut any more frequently than every 3 months or so. Then again, I don’t much fuss with it. I don’t wear makeup. I avoid dresses. I figure if I bathe and brush my teeth regularly, I’m socially acceptable.
Yeah, I’m an anomoly. Ask me how much it matters to me?
i like long hair too, i see some guys with long hair and it looks good. i do not mind short hair as long as it is not a crew cut, i absolutely hate a crew cut!
i would like my hair to be a bit longer, it is mid shoulder length,i am now trying to grow out my bangs.
i saw a man with the most excellent long blonde hair, it went almost all the way down his back, and was shiny, without split ends. peachiness.
I remember now from the limerick thread that you had just recently had a baby. One thing we were told in the hospital before bringing baby home is that long hairs can get twisted around babies’ fingers and be painful and cut off circulation, and be really difficult to remove. So after having each of my babies, I cut my hair short. It still did happen once to one of my babies (the hair wrapped around the finger) but we were able to easily remove it.
I don’t know if every hospital tells people this or not, but it scared me at the time.
I’ve always wonder this about “old ladies” too. But in watching old movies (40s, early 50s) you see some of the same hairdos on young women. Hairstyling technology allowed for setting hair and drying it under a dryer. Hair seems to have been kept shorter and set more often than not. Perhaps today’s old women are continuing with what they are used to; I know my grandma gets a perm for body/curliness but still sets her hair and sits under a dryer. She also hints to her daughter-in-law (Mom) that it’s time for her to cut off her waist-length gray hair, but she’s been doing that for years.
Also, I think the older you get, the thinner your hair in some cases and a short cut with a perm looks fuller.
I echo the idea above of beginning to like my gray hairs and not dying them anymore, but some of the “temporary” (ha) dyes do have good conditioners built in that kept my hair softer. I plan to never cut it again (except for split end trims) so I don’t have to constantly debate with myself. No husband to comment
Mr. Scarlett is growing out his hair for the second time. Last time it was down his back, and with his perennial beard, he was a dead ringer for Jesus. Now it’s only just to his shoulders, but growing, and this time he’s growing all of it, not just the back. (I know – MULLET! – but it looked good on him. Trust me.) It’s beautiful when it’s grown out – all wavy and golden-brown. Factor in his hazel eyes and he’s very easy to look at.
I once asked him whether his late mother would approve of his long hair. (When he was a child, his dad would just give all the boys crewcuts – yucko!) He said she didn’t mind long hair on men as long as it was clean and neat – which his is. I think I would have liked that woman.
Spider Woman,
I worry about this, too, and I check Owen’s fingers often.(I love to play with those chubby baby hands :).) I haven’t had a problem so far with either of my boys. I will usually keep my hair back and out of reach; I don’t care much for “vomit conditioner” in my hair! When I had shoulder-length hair, I was holding a friend’s baby, and the babe was able to grab ahold of my hair and really yank on it. I find it’s better to have hair that’s long enough to put back, safely out of reach.
I will cut my long hair off when it no longer looks attractive on me. I’ve always had long hair. Right now it’s a little bit below my bra strap. My hair is kind of thick and I have a natural wave in my hair so it’s not limp and straight. I think it looks nice. It’s easy to manage… I just wash and go.
I have a friend who had hair almost down to her butt and after her 1st baby was born she chopped it all off up her jaw line. She’s regretted it ever since. She did it because she thought it would be easier to manage and her baby wouldn’t pull it. WRONG! Her son still pulled it and once it got to a certain length it looked like she had wings so she would go and get it chopped again.
I cut about 6 inches off my hair after my daughter was born. Not because she pulled it or because it was in my way. I cut it because I wanted a little change so I could feel better about myself after having a baby. I didn’t cut my hair after my son was born either and he loves to pull hair! It was a very hard to break him of this but we finally did it.
I have always found that when my hair was REALLY long it was easier to care for. My hair is naturally stick straight, and when long it is easy to pull back into a bow or a bun. It only occasionally looked REALLY good, but it never looked REALLY bad, either. It looked really good when I had someone french braid it, or when I took the time to use my handy dandy Caruso steam rollers. I am probably the least vain woman on earth, so I didn’t bother very ofton.
I had short hair for some years, and I never really liked it. I have a small face, and I think I need some sort of volume around it in order to look good.
As to the OP, when I hit 30 people started making comments to me about how “older” woman shouldn’t have long hair. I shouldn’t have let that get to me, but I did. That is when I cut it short.
Now, my hair is just short of shoulder length, and permed, and I love it. It is long enough to frame my face, fluffy enough to give me some volume, and soft. I can also pull it back into a ballcap or a clip when I want it out of the way for sports or general convenience.
I don’t know why people think that you shouldn’t have long hair after 30, because when you think about it, long hair pulled back or put up LOOKS just like short hair. And when long hair is curled or french braided, it just looks SO GOOD! IMHO, that is.
I don’t plan on ever cutting my hair any shorter than shoulder length.
I curl it everyday with a big curling iron and use sponge rollers. Just to give it some body, since it’s so flat.
I wish we could go back to the days when we women could have long hair and not be told we were too girlish! Just put it up, then!
My .02 cents…I agree with those who find that as we get older, fine hair gets finer. In my 20’s & most of my 30’s my hair was shoulder legnth or longer. Purely for aesthetics, I have it layered & not much more than collar legnth now. Easy to take care of. I wish I was one of those women who looked good with really short hair. But on me it just looks like a BDH (I don’t care about that), but mainly it’s just not flattering. And dammit, us girls like to look pretty, even in our 40’s.
BTW. I still wear miniskirts & bikinis wherever appropriate. And I will continue to do so as long as the bod holds up. So there.
Personally, I like having my hair longer. I am 32 and have no plans to cut it short.
I like the idea that I can get up the next morning, brush it and it still looks okay, I don’t have a tangled mess. During the hot summer months I can pull it off my neck, in the winter it does help insullate. I can jump in the shower and be ready to leave in 30 minutes… I simply blow dry, brush, spritz a little hairspray in and I am done. Not all longer hair has to be high maintainence.
I think it’s a tradition because, of days long past, that women felt that long hair after a certain age meant that you are trying to look like a “kid”. Most of the women I know that are 35 or older pretty much do whatever they want with their hair.
Personally I have seen some women who are clearly older than me that look beautiful with longer hair and would not look good with shorter hair.
Personally, I used to have hair long enough I could sit on the end of it when I was a teen but it was too freaking difficult to take care of. I hated yanking out the tangles all the time so now the shorter the better. You don’t HAVE to style it (unless I missed some new legislation ) and mine is free to do what it wants. Of course, I’m no fashion plate by a long shot.
Nobody’s mentioned this possible root ('scuse the pun) of the hair custom though - in some cultures (which ones I can’t recall right now) unmarried women wore their hair down and married women wore theirs up. And of course in the past unmarried always equated to “young” and married to “old” (sorry-“mature”). I believe even in this country the last century it was common for married women to wear their hair up. Maybe in modern times wearing hair up eventually transmogrified into getting it cut short, it certainly seems easier. I never could figure out how one was supposed to keep a big mass of locks on top of the head anyway.
(Disclaimer: The preceding was largely wild-eyed suppositon.)
I’m 29 and have long hair. I’ve had several close friends tell me that I should enjoy it now, as older women look terrible in long hair and I’ll have to cut it in my 30’s.
I don’t want to cut it!!! I cut it when I had my second child, thinking that it would be easier to take care of. First thing I learned was that I do NOT have the face to carry off short hair. I looked terrible, and have the pic’s to prove it. Second, it was harder to take care of. Right now, I can pull it into a pony tail and it’s out of my way and the babys way. With short hair, I looked like a drowned rat unless I used a small arsenol of hair products and blow dried it. It was a lot more work, especially since I hate doing my hair to begin with.
In a few years, I may go as far as cutting it to just below shoulder length, but that’s as far as I’m willing to go, convention be damned.
I think dwyr has a good point. There are a lot of hair traditions that go back literally thousands of years. Young girls or maidens wore their hair loose, mature women wore their hair up.
At least we don’t live in a culture where hair has to be covered! Look at art from the middle ages. Most mature women had their hair completely covered. It’s what they considered appropriate.
Oh, and I forgot to say, I think long hair looks great. It’s each persons individual choice. I vote, have the hair that’s easiest for YOU to take care of, long or short.
My Mother: You’re 30…cut your hair. Me: No. My Mother: You’re 35…cut your hair. Me: No. My Mother: You’re 40…oh, forget it.
Well, now at 44, I just cut my hair (faint sounds of Mom cheering in the background). It is shoulder-length and while it feels and looks good, I am not planning on cutting it drastically in the future. I felt I had to get rid of the bottom 6 or 7 inches because it had gotten very brittle and scraggly-looking. But I prefer long hair for all the reasons people have already listed. And, if I don’t end up with a Jessica Tandy look, I’ll keep it long.
And Ukelele Ike - you are such a class act. Thanks from one of the older short-skirters.
