Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
How are there self help GROUPS?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If a runner runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is s/he homeless or naked?
If God sneezes, what should you say?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If soap is made to keep you clean, why does it leave scum?
Gallagher, ladies and gentlemen. How 'bout a big hand for him?
And now, folks, to keep the Hilarity Meter maxed out, let’s welcome to the stage, the one, the only, Carrot Top! Let’s make him feel at home, huh?
1.) The bottle is coated by a very thin layer of neutronium, which is chemically inert.
2.) No.
3.) Sheep like to flock together.
4.) Why not make a cow laugh and see? P.S., don’t ask these questions to do that.
5.) No human can run that fast.
6.) Neither, it most likely is something’s supper.
7.) Bless Yourself.
8.) Heh, heh, heh. Johnson & Johnson don’t want you to know.
9.) Wouldn’t you leave scum?
sigh… I really shouldn’t, I know these weren’t serious, but…
[ol]
[li]Glue does stick to the inside of the bottle.[/li][li]Presumably, they wouldn’t have, but Adam would have had a chest button.[/li][li]The group members help each other to help themselves.[/li][li]No, but it might come out her udders.[/li][li]Not if he’s using speakers that transmit sound through the air, but he could were he wearing earphones.[/li][li]A turtle’s shell isn’t it’s home, and they don’t wear it. A shellless turtle is dead.[/li][li]Nothing, you just put up an umbrella.[/li][li]Petroleum.[/li][li]It keeps you clean of other things; water keeps you clean of soap.[/ol][/li]Why do I even bother? And manhattan, it’s not any harder to move threads with multiple replies to MPSIMS, is it? If so, I apologize.
[ol]
[li]It will if you leave the top off. Cecil will be testing this theory in a future column.[/li]
[li]Yes it is where their umblical cords attached to their mothers.[/li]
[li]They had improved from helping themselves alone.[/li]
[li]Only if she swallowed what the bull had for her.[/li]
[li]Depends on if he has his headphones on.[/li]
[li]At a nudist colony s/he would feel quite at home.[/li]
[li]Lswote bless me.[/li]
[li]Oily babies.[/li]
[li]Because he spent the rent money on booze.[/li][/ol]
A related question: If a vegitarian eats only vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Zev Steinhardt
Actually, the question of Adam and Eve’s navels is one of long standing. Michaelangelo (whom, we assume, would have interpreted Genesis literally, or at least worked for clients who did so) gave them navels in his Sistine Chapel frescoes. The theory (explicated at length by others) was that God would have created the world as “a going concern,” complete with evidence of a history which had never happened.
Creationists in the '50s objected to books and pamphlets which showed A&E with navels, until the history of art was reveled unto them.
More on this in the book “Fads and Fallacies in the Name of Science.”
At the risk of moving this thread, why would God lie to us about history and let us discover fossils and other “facts” that “never happened”.
Well, the obvious answer is so that his believers could discount any evidence against him. All evidence that supports his presence is declared true and all that denies his presence is declared a chimera. Very pat.
If a cow laughed
Humans are the only risible animals we know of.
If God sneezes
Be definition, God does not sneeze.
The other impossibles were already dealt with. Asking for the consequence of impossible situations can be a fruitless exercise. For example, let me ask you some:
If unicorns existed, what color would their drivers license be?
If your head were the shape of a round square, could your tongue bisect the altitude?
If barely humorous plays on words were true inquiries of philosophical or scientific musing, how old an internet user would you be?
Peace.
Woah you guys…take it easy. It was sarcastic…meant to be funny… (and cuz i was bored)
Woah you guys…take it easy. It was sarcastic…meant to be funny… (and cuz i was bored)
"Woah you guys…take it easy. It was sarcastic…meant to be funny… (and cuz i was bored)"
That’s what MPSIMS is for. I’d recommend becoming familiar with the various forums. Welcome aboard!
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Glues need air to dry out to be adhesive, not enough air in the bottle.
Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
This is mythology, any answer will do be creative. Its my opinion they had embilical cords running to the floor their whole lives.
How are there self help GROUPS?
Why not? Its about as silly as self-help books, why do you need a book if the self is all you need. See the flawed logic?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
Cows don’t laugh, if they did they’d sour the milk.
If a runner runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?
Yep, I can hear the radio on a Concord jet.
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is s/he homeless or naked?
He's dead.
If God sneezes, what should you say?
If you ever have a god's attention start bitching about the conditions down here, pretend he's the landlord and you got a crappy apartment.
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Manatees, thats why there’s so few left.
If soap is made to keep you clean, why does it leave scum?
Soap makes you clean, it doesn’t guarantee to make anything else clean. The soap that doesn’t leave scum on things leave scum you YOU.
Humanity. Humanitarians feed off humanity, in the sense of humaneness. They thrive it its presence, and strive for it in its absence.
And by the way, vegetarians do not, in general, eat only vegetables.
There is only one way to answer this…
whipping out The Paddle - a fearsome instrument made from the finest rock maple, bearing on the one side four Greek letters - Sigma, Delta, Mu, and Beta - and on the other side the slogan “Fighting Ignorance Online Since 1999”
Bend thou over, TwiLite, and enlightenment shalt thou encounter in a most direct manner…
curious glance at Achernar Does the phrase “#30plus” mean anything to you?
On the Adam & Eve question…
Apparently, the latest bizarre fad is to have plastic surgery to remove (or disguise?) the belly button.
I guess if enough people do this, we will someday have artists draw Adam & Eve in that fashion.
The navel-removal thing was an April Fools Day joke perpetrated on NPR listeners this year (All Things Considered Weekend, I think), complete with “interviews” with teenaged girls who had had the procedure done at the “Navel Academy.” It fooled enough people that they had to run a disclaimer piece on the next week’s show.
When god sneezes, you can say gesundheit; it means soundness/“health”. It’s common courtesy.