I’m pretty sure I have Tourette’s Syndrome, I don’t think I’m formally diagnosed but it was one of the things psychiatrists guessed I had when I had behavioral issues as a kid. I suffer tics to the extreme, and there’s been a few times I’ve blurted words out spontaneously and when I was a kid into my teens I’d go into violent rages, including stabbing a kid I didn’t even know with a pencil when I was 7 years old and writing a mean email to someone who was bothering my friend one time (even though I was more disturbed by how unforgiving my friend was) and I didn’t feel like I was in control of my actions because they weren’t based on anger or a desire to hurt, more like they were a response to primal feelings beyond my control or a way to “rationalize” or “drown out” the dissonance that was bothering me so greatly. A couple times I literally experienced “alien hand syndrome”, like one time when I was a kid I swung my foot at a cat and thankfully missed (I love cats, so it definitely wasn’t something I did willingly!) I always felt horrible and remorseful after these fits of “rage” and still worry about what harm I may or may not have caused in these episodes when I was younger. It’s almost like something in my brain wants to sabotage me by making me do bad things to myself and others.
Can Tourette’s syndrome and other mental illnesses cause peaceful and empathetic people to do bad things? I know it’s popular nowadays to say there is no link between mental illness and violence and that violently mentally ill people must be sociopathic or drug addicts (ie, it’s all their fault and they’re “bad people™” who can only be punished but not helped), but I view that as being based on dogmatic political correctness rather than evidence and my personal experience backs it up.
While such sentiment is probably well intended and meant to prevent mentally ill people from experiencing prejudice I imagine it makes people with disorders that cause erratic and will-hijacking behavior to feel like society will abandon them if they “act up”.
I know zip about Tourettes, but in the book “Motherless Brooklyn,” the protagonist has Tourettes, and he is described as having very compulsive behavior - touching, tapping, counting, etc. He needs to do these things to calm himself.
I don’t know how accurate the book is, but it has the ring of plausibility,
The concept of “will” is so soft that the question does not really have a definable answer.
We are neurologically wired by biology; the human brain is plastic enough to create a complex interaction between learned and otherwise innate behaviors. It’s impossible to sort out which behaviors would be completely “natural” for any given individual–i.e. which behaviors would occur were the individual not exposed to external influences which modify behavior.
I have Tourrette’s and for me it’s nothing but the nervous tics; I’ve never been out of control, stabbed anyone, or had any other violent outbursts like you are describing.
I’m not an expert but I don’t recall reading anything about a link with violent behavior. Nervous tics, coprolalia (saying inappropriate things) and OCD, definitely (and the presence/degree varies between people with TS).
Have you talked to your doctor about this stuff? You may have some other condition (instead of or in addition to) that’s causing it.
When I went through my clinical training I saw a few Tourette’s sufferers who describe their tics and compulsions as akin to a sneeze. You can hold it back only so much then you have to sneeze, and holding it back makes it come out stronger when it does.
That said, Tourette’s sufferers, at least the ones I saw, each had their own particular coping mechanisms as it really runs the spectrum from minor to very severe.
One thing I strongly encourage is all Tourettes sufferers to do is have a very thorough neurological exam. In my rotation I saw two misdiagnosed sufferers that while they had “Tourettes-LIKE” symptoms, it turned out to be infections of the brain that were causing the issues.
Stabbing another kid when you’re seven is not something I would classify as very unusual even for someone who has no medical or psychological issue, nor is writing a mean email, or even kicking an animal. These are disturbing actions but not something that is way out there.
I knew a man who lost his job and uncharacteristically got so mad he broke his hand by smashing his fist into a wall. Sometimes people do things that are, for lack of a better word, stupid.
As for whether Tourette’s can cause you to act in ways against your own moral code, that is open for debate. But this clearly is causing you worry and a broad general rule people have a basic moral code they don’t stray far outside from. It’s not like a Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde thing.
You definitely need to see someone and get properly diagnosed, there are medication and behavior modification therapy, and while neither will cure you, they can make your symptoms manageable.
I can’t remember to be honest. But the stabbing was totally impersonal and just one of many negative reactions I had to being at school which was like torture to me, and when I almost kicked the cat it was the last thing I wanted to do (I love cats), but somehow I felt “forced” to by my mind if that makes any sense, which it probably doesn’t to anyone who hasn’t experienced anything similar. Like my brain was sabotaging my will is what it felt like.
That’s pretty accurate - I’ve used almost the exact same explanation; it’s like not scratching an itch, or holding your breath. You can consciously control it but eventually the urge to “tic” becomes too strong (although I don’t know that the tic itself is always stronger when it does happen). Most of the time I’m aware of my tics but in a “background noise” kind of way, like how you don’t tend to focus on the fact that you are breathing or whatever.
That’s a good way to describe it. I think that’s one of the reasons they can be emotionally damaging. You feel like it’s your fault but really your brain was going to make you do it anyway.
Tics are no more your fault than your height is your fault. You didn’t have any say in the matter.
I think that most of the emotional impact comes from being worried about what other people think of you. In my experience, the vast majority of them just don’t know what’s up (with tics or whatever) so tell them - “I’ve got Tourette’s, it causes nervous tics”. I’ve never had any problem explaining it to adults or kids, they all get it. My friends are so used to it that they often don’t notice it anymore.
If somebody still gives you a hard time about it that’s on them - it’s like teasing somebody because they are left-handed or use a wheelchair or whatever. The only time I really got grief over TS was in junior high school, and let’s face it, that’s a crappy time for many people.
I heard in a documentary about Tourette’s that it is controllable in a very limited way, very similar to the way one may control an urge to scratch an itch. But just like an itch, the urge grows and grows so that control becomes increasingly difficult and is at some point lost. And again, like an itch that often seems to initially spread and worsen once you finally scratch, so with Tourettes symptoms. Having controlled whatever urge you have been having, when you finally give in to it, it’s worse than it would have been if you had never tried to control it.
I found that very understandable, it made Tourette’s much clearer to me. Perhaps it resonates with you.
The friend I have with Tourette’s does ‘stuff’ constantly - taps fingers and feet, clicks his teeth together, etc. He’s sort of a one man rhythm band normally. He also talks VERY fast.
If he tries to NOT tap/click/chatter, he gets agitated pretty fast, and then starts rattling off all of his tics at once like a high-speed percussion band. He once clicked his teeth so hard he broke one, after trying not to click for a few hours. So I guess I am confirming that for him, at least, trying NOT to do his Tourette’s things makes them worse in the long run.
