In a previous post, I managed to piss off what seemed to be much of the world, and make myself look like a jackass in the process. I was curious as to how a perceived “war on Islam” would actually play out if one really were to occur. Through a combination of poorly chosen words on my part and misinterpretation by others, my idea of showing that there is not, could not be, a war on Islam turned into an end of the world debacle. How about one more try. I still don’t think we’ve seen the end of genocide, or wars against ideas. Let me set the stage:
It’s the year 2020. The elections have just concluded with a victory for the Democrat, William Jefferson DeMento, after a brilliant political move in which he co-opted the religious right by caving into the abortion issue and steadily increasing taxes on the more productive parts of society and greater benefits to their constituents. The Libertarian candidate pretty much lost the election when he was quoted as saying he didn’t see how it would hurt to change the slogan on US currency to say “In our selves and our freedom we trust.” Also, shortly after taking office, President DeMento gained great credibility, solving the Middle East crisis by moving the remaining 100 Israelis and Palestinians to the North and South Poles, respectively. (The Palestinians immediately began digging a tunnel, ‘to reclaim the North Pole’, that had been unjustly taken from them.) The economy remains in shambles after terrorists release biotoxins that destroy the US wheat and corn crops, along with the cattle industry. At the worst possible time, several abortion clinics are destroyed by mysterious cool blue flames; the virgin Mary appears to a group of crack whores in Fatima, Ohio, and an oil stain on some guys driveway in Nebraska looks like the virgin if you look at it in the right light. President DeMento, who is the most convincing orator of our time, or any time, being digitally enhanced, seizes the moment to declare that it is a message from “God on High” that it is the divine duty of the United States to lead a crusade, yes – a CRUSADE to rid the world of destabilizing elements. He says that although its never worked before, it will this time because not only do we hold all the weapons, almighty God is on our side and wants it done. Grown men weep and women faint, he is so convincing. The American sheep, er, people rise up as one, shouting “Let’s go git them diaper-headed sumbitches!”
You are the Secretary of Homeland Defense, and have a number of tools at your disposal:
The 100 nukes allowed by treaty. (plus parts in storage to build 20,000 more)
The usual stuff: Bombs, bullets, tanks, airplanes, 18 year olds.
Various germ agents, anthrax, smallpox, etc, seized from al Queda and Aum Shinriko labs.
An orbiting array of energy beams that render primates and other mammals impotent.
A pamphlet, “Inquisition for Dummies” on loan from the Vatican.
Aerosol DNA snippets that, when released, attach to specific chromosome sites that identify ethnic identity, to produce whatever effect desired: sleepiness, stupidity, disease, etc.
Other stuff I can’t think of.
You have a meeting with President DeMento tomorrow morning to lay out your war plans………… (no fair resigning in protest)
Who are the ‘diaper-headed sumbitches’ he’s crusading against? Are they a single nation? A religious group? A terrorist organisation?
I understand you’re trying to get away from characterising particular groups and into the practicalities of how to fight particular conflicts (at least, I think that’s what you’re saying), but there’s no way anyone can answer without knowing who ‘the enemy’ is. Fighting terrorists is very different to fighting a conventional state vs state war.
Reply to Crusoe: I’m thinking that this would be the equivalent of another shining moment in American history when we wiped out the Indians. I think we Cro-magnons did it to the Neanderthals, too. Bad idea then, still is. The world is much smaller, and what once was a continental problem is now a world problem. So I’m reminded of the quote from some US cavaly officer “nits grow into lice” before bayonetting some babies. Or a surgeon removing good tissue to get a tumor. So we’re talking genocide here - I don’t like it, wouldn’t do it, but it does happen. Maybe understanding the mechanism might avoid it.
Okaaay - but that doesn’t answer my question. Who are we fighting? As I said, the weapons and tactics you use to fight a war are different depending on who, why, and where you’re fighting. You can’t speculate on methods unless you know that.
Since it’s supposedly a “war on Islam” it would be centers of that religion - anyone where CNN showed clips of celebrations after the WTC attack. I got severely taken to task on this last time, so I do need to be more specific, but I’m not really sure. If I’m not mistaken, WWI was fought without anyone having a real good idea of what it was about. This would seem to have some of those aspects.
So we’re back to where the last thread ended then.
Even with this hypothetical scenario, you want to discuss how to wage war on a religious group, without explaining who exactly, why or where.
Look at it this way. If someone suggested to you, “How would we wage war on Christianity?” how could you answer? It’s a similarly impossible question. You’d have to identify every single believer in the world, then kill them.
Dragline, could you do us all a favor and stop these poorly written and badly thought-out not-so-veiled appeals to religious bigotry?
Islam is a global religion, whose adherents range from the blissed out Sufis wishing to grow closer to their divine Beloved to the raging maniacs of Al Qaeda. The vast majority of Muslims are just trying to go about their business, raise kids, go to work, and live their lives. Islam is not some evil conspiracy or a threat to anyone, no matter what those “clash of civilization” folks say.
Even if Godfrey de Bouillion reincarnated and decided to wage the Crusades anew, how could he destroy or convert 1/6 of the planet’s inhabitants?
My advice to you is to pick some books on Islam, read about its diversity, its hisotry, and its cultural influences on the West. Abandon these juvenile fantasies.
And PLEASE stop posting this rubbish so I don’t have to defend religion.
Well, no more hypothetical threads asking what would happen if we destroyed Islam! But they’d just be replaced by threads debating “Should we have destroyed Islam?” which would be a million times worse.
Well, count me out until we get the “How do we fight the Decepticon Menace?” thread, but that will probably be hijacked by people debating unleashing the matrix vs confentinal warfare and the whole Unicron vs. Death Star debate.
But they’d just be replaced by threads debating “Should we have destroyed Islam?” which would be a million times worse.