Could I, as a woman, be more than merely coffee carrier?
We Illuminati accept applications at a Starbucks near you.
How the hell else do you think we make our operational expense funds?
Tripler
What exactly is a “coffee carrier”?
The Illuminati does not exist anymore. It was founded in 1776 by Adam Weishaupt, an Austrian bent on odd religious/social ideas and existed for a while as a secret society within the Freemasons, themselves a bit secretive (much moreso at the time, of course). It eventually died out and is now a nonentity, save paranoid pipe dreams and the Discordian religion.
The modern Illuminati is like the modern Discordianism: A historical group and philosophy revived by the 1975 novel Illuminatus by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson. In the novel, the Illuminati are an Authoritarian force bent on global domination and empowering a few Illuminated at the expense of the world. The Discordians, contrariwise, are an Anarchistic force devoted to a kind of insanity called mysticism. Discordianism is the worship of the Greek goddess Eris (Discordia in Latin), the goddess of chaos. In Classical mythology, Eris started the Trojan War by having Hera and Aphrodite vie for a golden apple marked `Kallisti’ (for the fairest). In the novel, Eris’ prop is a pile of Acupulco Gold. 
fnord!
**
Derleth, shhhhhhhhh!!!
Will you pipe down!?!?
SHHHHHHHHHH!!! Shut up! You’re gonna ruin everything!! 
Tripler
Ignore that Doper behind the curtain.
Precisely who were you intending to prosecute under anti-discrimination laws?
Huh?
Sorry, maybe my comment wasn’t very clear. It was supposed to be a mildly humorous (though I obviously failed in that regard) comment on the fact that the Illuminati is supposedly a secret society that rules the world.
Any attempt by avanti to take action against them if they aren’t equal opportunity employers is likely to be foiled by their secretive nature (that and the fact they don’t exist).
I’m starting the Illuminati Straightdopian Chapter and all persons are accepted as members (as well as persons without members)
Together we shall rule the world (but mums the word)
The first rule of the illuminati is that you do not talk about the illuminati.
The second rule of the illuminati is that you do NOT TALK about the illuminati.
The third rule of the illuminati: Make soap
Clearly therefore you are not a member. Or you are not a member who obeys the rules. Or perhaps you are a member, and you know about the third rule…
And a free membership is offered for anyone who can tell me what the third rule is
Well, OK, in deference to Seven, make that the fourth rule.
If you’re into video games you can join the Illuminati in their quest for world domination in the game Deus Ex. Also available for the Playstaion 2.
i didn’t want to sue - but simply to empower myself and rule the world. i was worried that i may have been a lowly minion, bringing coffee to the big dogs. sadly, my dreams will never be realized. and it seems as though all those imaginary women’s dreams were dashed as well. shucks. thanks for the info.
fnord.
avanti
Empower yourself and rule the world?
Hell’s bells woman, you don’t need the Illuminati for that. You have us now!
Welcome to the Straight Dope.