I was watching Dirty Jobs on the Discovery channel, and Mike had to stick a 2 ft long dildo gizmo up a bulls rear end. Apparently it was electrified, and stimulated the prostate. The point of the exercise was to get semen from the bull to sell, which was accomplished.
So based on that, I would say that there is something to the hole prostate massage thing, at least for bulls.
I’m older and I’ll second this; I’ve had a bunch of the damn things and haven’t enjoyed one yet.
I remember years ago a poster here saying that he’d never understand how gay men could enjoy anal sex because he didn’t enjoy having a prostate exam at all. I thought the same thing about having a pelvic – if that’s what sex was like for women, the human race would die out.
But if the question Dr. Drew was taking was specifically about the movie, and the movie showed a prostate massage being performed by a nurse for medical purposes, then I’d say his response was a fair one.
To be fair, she was a really hot nurse.
CaerieD, thanks for the link! That wikipedia article is much better cited than the one on prostate massage. It has a link to the Colorado State University website which gives more detail.
Maybe I’ll write a letter to Dr. Drew. As far as his assertion that only some men are into it, and most would find it highly uncomfortable, I’m willing to take his word for it. I’m not sure if it makes a difference, but I do remember that the question came from a woman, who was wondering if her boyfriend would enjoy it. Any brave, straight Dopers want to conduct a home experiment?
Of most of the men who I’ve talked to who had this done and didn’t enjoy it, many of them had homophobic tendencies or were outright homophobic. In order to properly enjoy assplay, you have to be relaxed and, if you are worried about gayness, it is very difficult to relax.
Since all men have prostrates, I believe that any man could come to enjoy prostrate massage. First, you need to be comfortable with having things in your ass. Second, you need to take your time and stretch the anus so that it doesn’t hurt. Thirdly, you need to get someone (or a device) to properly stimulate the prostrate.
I think this is like analingus. Yes, everyone has the capacity to enjoy it, but I think that most people will be too freaked out by what it is to like it. Of course, there are always those out there who never find the act pleasurable. Just like there are women for whom nipple stimulation doesn’t do a thing.
It’s true of other large land mammals as well. Here’s a Daily Show clip about a man with one of the worst jobs in the world.
“What! And leave show business?”
I apologize in advance as I realize this is getting away from GQ territory.
prostate
Perhaps.
But I don’t really care to find out if I may enjoy prostate massage.
Homophobia may be a reason for some men. However, I don’t think that this would be the primary reason for most men.
This is the primary reason that I don’t care to find out. I don’t really feel the need to be comfortable with things in my ass. I certainly don’t want to stretch my anus. Nor do I want to be able to discern proper vs improper stimulation of my prostate.
I think that I’m as gay-friendly as your average 40 year old Canadian non-religious hetero.
I just don’t want to play with my ass. Is this abnormal?
It may not be the primary reason they think they won’t enjoy it, but it really would seem to be the underlying theme.
What other reason to ignore an entire erogenous zone?
And it’s not as much of a gay vs. straight thing as you might think. I was talking about sex with a very gay friend of mine, and anal sex came up. He was totally not into it, either giving or receiving. Strictly oral for him.
It’s a very useful skill if you ever have to smuggle anything into a prison. But that might never come up.
You might reconsider as you get older. Prostate health is important, as is allowing another person to verify that it is in good shape. You don’t have any conscious control of your anal sphincter, but getting more relaxed about it pretty much ensures that any contact with it will be less uncomfortable.
Normal is consensus. A better question is “is this healthy”. And getting more comfortable with your anus may ensure better health.
It’s not abnormal at all but I would say you don’t know what you’re missing out on, if you never try it how do you know if you won’t like it? That said a big factor of enjoying being penetrated for a guy is the psychological component, and as straight men are usually the penetrator I can see why you wouldn’t want to give it a go.
But a lot of straight men enjoy having things put in their bum, it doesn’t make them any less straight.
Ditto for me and my partner of almost 21 years. And as for medical exams, my reaction has been: That’s it? What’s the big deal? I think a lot of straight guys feign pain or discomfort out of fear of appearing gay. In truth, compare the size of your finger with the size of an average turd. Meh.
I agree. Not homophobic in any way, but I think there is just too much baggage tied up in all of that—not just being perceived as “gay,” but also, for men, the simple act of being penetrated. It’s a traditional “female”, “submissive” role, and it’s hard for us guys to wrap our heads around that, however open-minded we may be.
Freudian?
Hey we all know what kimera meant, no need to be so anal about spelling.
I’ll offer the unheard viewpoint-- a straight male who enjoys prostate stimulation!
To my fellow straight guys: yes, the first time you do it, and probably for a while thereafter, it’s uncomfortable. It feels weird. In first times I had experience with it were in medical settings, and let me tell you (and any gay man reading this), it’s PAINFUL. Shock-out-of-your shoes painful. Nothing homophobic about that, just the truth.
But. . . On my own terms, over time by myself and with some past crazy-as-hell girlfriends, I’ve learned how I feel. What was unpleasant at first eventually became pleasant, and then downright enjoyable.
Now, the doctor’s office is still uncomfortable, but it’s not painful anymore. I guess that once you’re “broken in,” it never really feels painful again.
That said, back to the OP-- in my reading, even the men who find a prostate massage pleasurable don’t always orgasm from it. I, for one, have never had an orgasm from prostate stimulation alone. It’s an intense feeling, an enjoyable feeling, but alone it’s never been enough to get me over the top. Other men have different experiences (YMMV).
One thing to remember is there is a difference between a prostate orgasm and prostate milking. I believe that the latter can be accomplished in virtually all men, i.e. via the prostate you can be stimulated to ejaculation without the accompanying orgasm. I believe you could hear more about it from some BDSM/chastity fetishists (allegedly, it’s quite frustrating-- release without satisfaction, and all that jazz).
Finally, and don’t forget-- part of the issue for men who’ve never had anything inserted in their anus is just that. Forget about whether touching the prostate feels good or hurts-- simply the insertion of a finger into the anus without proper warming-up and lubrication will hurt. Of course, these same men who complain about a finger will then turn around and pass a bowel movement the size of a beer can and think nothing of it, so it’s not the size that’s an issue-- it’s the direction, and the readiness/purpose.
Anyway, my personal mantra is, if it feels good, do it, and stimulation of the anus and prostate feels physically good for a reason (nerve endings galore). It may make one “weird,” but it doesn’t make one gay.
[Ignatz responds: On a scale of 1 to 10, zero. No orgasmic effect of sensation, just like I was about to empty my bladder.
[Ignatz responds: Doesn’t that depend on whose/whatsis is put in? If it’s a girlfriend’s social finger (to use R. Lee Ermy’s term on Mail Call), or a dildo, that would not make him, or prove him, gay, but if it’s a penis, I think that would do it, by definition.]
[Ignatz responds: Like I said, that depends on who or what does the stimulus, IMO]
If anyone enjoyed (?) the Daily Show video on “Whacking the Pachyderm”, you’ll love the following intromission
http://webmail.att.net/wmc/en-US/v/wm/48F51FC800053852000036C722230703729B0A02D2089B9A019C04040A0DBFCECECE0B020103030E080D010D?cmd=Show&no=128&uid=2888&sid=c0
[feel free to advise how to do a “linky” thing.]
Ummm…not like that?
First off, we’d have to be logged into your AT&T webmail account. It probably would be a bad idea to post your username and password so we can log in and see it.
Second, your every paragraph in a post, especially when quoting someone else, does NOT require referring to yourself in the third person. In fact, most folks tend to find that VERY ANNOYING and makes them get all stabby.
Boy, talk about overgeneralizing. I’ve experienced women who could climax having their feet stimulated. Or just their nipples alone. Why not a guy through a prostate exam. Everybody’s different.
I had an ex that got off once through only nipple stimulation. So yes, I’ve got to agree that guys can have an orgasm under many different sets of circumstances.
Well, all right, just this once. But you’re going to owe me BIG!