Old joke, but I can’t seem to get it out of my mind.
You’re driving along beside a swollen river from the recent floods. You see what looks like a person clutching the branch of a tree that’s nearly submerged in the swiftly flowing current. You stop and get out and approach the edge of the river. You’re close enough now to see that it’s none other than our esteemed Commander in Chief.
You’re faced with a terrible dilemma: you can either help to rescue him, or you can take a photograph that is sure to win you a Pulitzer Prize.
Bush is scheduled to speak at a republican rally in Central Park New York, A bunch of wealthy corporate leaders, a few politicians, some middle class laborers, a few protesters, and some drunk bums are in the park.
Bush goes to the podium and starts to speak. After 5 minutes a flock of pigeons fly over the audience. The pigeons crap all over the crowd. What do you see? The middle class workers get shit on every time Bush gives a speech. The protesters are spotless, because they were detained two blocks away. The wealthy stayed immaculate, because shit don’t stick to them in a bad situation. The politicians were already dirty and full of shit. The drunk bums are the same as always sleeping off a shitty headache. Bush is still oblivious of the air attack, and reads to the children, I mean crowd for ten more minutes.
A small town high school was trying its best to put together a football team but were having great difficulty finding players who had the requisite combination of size, strength, agility, speed, and intelligence to make 11, much less any backups.
One of the brighter kids told the head coach that he knew a boy who was everything they needed but that he wasn’t a current student there. The coach told the boy to bring his buddy in and if he worked out they’d get him into school without delay and with no hassle.
That next day they were greeted by a 6’5" 285 pound brute of a kid who looked ready for the NFL. One problem: he new nothing about football. After seeing his speed and strength and agility, the coach finally asked the new boy, “Clete, do you think you can pass this ball?”
Unblinking, Clete said, “Durn, Coach, I doubt if I can even swaller it.”
You’ve probably all heard this one…a chicken and an egg are lying in bed together in a hotel room. The egg looks unhappy and is clearly miffed about something. The chicken looks very smug and is smoking a cigarette.
The chicken turns to the egg and says, “I guess that settles that question!”