Jerk-of-the-Month[sup]TM[/sup] Award
I guess the “arrangements” for the stupid teenager will be ass kicked from Pittsburgh to L.A. by his father.
Please do not return him to Canada.
Right, like WE want him.
Someone like this is either too stupid, or too criminally-minded, to be let back into society with only a “citation”.
Four words: Christian Military Boot Camp. 
Maybe he was trying to innocently light a fart (Canadian National Sport?) and got confused .
Of course, if this is true, it means a Canadian doesn’t know his @ss from his own left foot. 
Please don’t hurt me! Put the hockey sticks down guys! Guys? <whimper>
I’m somewhat confused as to why he’s a jerk and criminal-minded. Stupid? Without a doubt. Thoughtless? Of course. But criminal-minded? Seems unlikely.
He just sounds like someone who doesn’t think before he acts. It obviously runs in the family since Dad should’ve said, “Put that lighter away. You’re not supposed to have that on an airplane.”
Can we get extra hazing on that?
Where’s the line for people to slap sense into that kid? Having worked with seventeen-year-olds (well, actually sixteen year olds, the extra year makes no difference) and having been one in the past, I know exactly what he was thinking:
Airplane + shoe + lighter = troublemaking
long pause while brain processes
COOL!
brain gives long sigh and promptly jumps off plane
Well, I think you answered your first question at least:
Sounds like two attributes of a jerk.
A 17-year old knows exactly what they are doing by trying to light their shoe on an airplane. If they don’t, then they’re too stupid to be allowed in public without a Keeper of some sort.
And anyone that believes his asinine story as to what he was trying to do with the lighter, please stand on your head…
What about the males, who can’t use a Keeper?
Ann Coulter. Eesh. “That Canadian kid’s a moron! So we have to ATTACK IRAQ NOW!”
900mg of thorazine, intramuscular. Stat!
Leave it to Ann Coulter to start the “He’s Iranian! EEEEVIL!” nonsense.
Ann, wouldn’t it make more sense to just ban lighters and matches from airplanes? Oh wait sorry, big tobacco says we can’t.
Tell you what; if you promise to keep that Coulter character south of the border, we’ll let the kid back into Canada.
Muffin, how 'bout we trade you instead? I think I’d rather have the kid over here.
BTW, when I was in high school, burning the loose pieces of rubber off new shoes was fairly common practice.
I’m still inclined to think, based on the little bit of information that’s available to us, that he was just being stupid, and maybe a couple hundred hours of community service was serve him better than a prison sentence.
Absent-mindedly burning shoes in plane: Incredibly stupid.
Blaming the actions of said incredibly stupid Canadian on American liberals and concluding that we must attack Iraq: Psychotic.
I’m with DA, here, Muffin. Another dumbass won’t hurt us. You take Anthrax Annie for a while.
I suppose balling my hand into a fist and flicking my thumb out is a no-no too.
When I was in the army reserves, everyone burned loose threads and such off their uniforms and boots. It is better than pulling or cutting. Still, you’ve got to be some kind of stupid to do that on a plane in today’s climate.
Just out of curiosity, the Fox story says the boy’s name wasn’t released because of his age and no mention was given of his ethnicity. Did Coulter get this “Iranian descent” factoid from any reputable source or just from the voices in her head?