Now that I read that title it looks bad, but I don’t think I’m there yet. All I know is that I can’t leave food on my plate. At least recently. A while back (4-5 years) I lost 90 lbs. In typical weight loss, I’ve since gained about half of it back. My weight fluctuates a lot. I’m fairly active person. I play hockey and study martial arts, whenever people are getting together for some game, I’m always in. Plus until this recent time, I’ve exercised 3-4 x week. Doing weight-lifting and aerobic exercise. Last winter I tried training for a marathon, but hurt my knees and had to quit. I’ve done a century ride (100 mile bike ride) in Santa Fe.
I bring up these activities, because weight management comes down to 2 undeniable elements. How much energy you take in (in the form of food), and how much energy you expend (in all forms including exercise).
And since I’m an active gent, the first half of the equation is what is off for me. I eat a lot.
Right now, I find myself finishing food way after I’m full. I can’t seem to leave food, I can’t seem to deny myself that last bite. Why?! If I’m with people (family or friends), I do better, but not by much. And if I’m with friends and we are drinking, well, all self-control is shot .
So I try to find the differences with me now, and me 5 years ago. I can say that those were easier times, less partying, less alcohol, less stress. But not sure that’s the answer.
Is this a mental block, or just deliciously bad habits becoming normal?
Do I need therapy or do I just need to pull it together? Is this something I should be able to figure out on my own?
About 12 years ago I weighed about 250 lbs. Over the course of a year I managed to lose 100 pounds. One of the hardest habits for me to break was “cleaning my plate.” Due to my mother’s illness I lived with an aunt and uncle for a few years. The situation was pretty abusive, and one of the things that really set them off was "wasting food.’ It became an ingrained habit to finish everything on my plate, even if I wasn’t hungry. To this day I sometimes have to ask myself - are you eating this because you are hungry, or because it tastes good?
Oh yes - altho my weight does fluctuate, I’ve never gone above 180 again.
As for the mentality of it, I don’t know.
I just heard a piece of advice on the radio that made me say, “hey, that makes sense”: When finished with what you want to eat, get rid of your utensil.
Take it to the kitchen (or if eating out) stick it in your glass, put the handle in the food; anything so you want be tempted to just pick it back up and continue.
I know you’re looking for more than that, but I found it useful.
Good luck with it.
FlightlessBird, I can only speak from my own experiences. I don’t know you, I’m not claiming this is your issue, but here’s MY issue:
See, I’ve heard all the theories. Fact is, I overeat because I like food. A lot. It tastes good, even after I’m “full”.
Although I did recently realize that the stronger my appetite for food, the weaker my appetite for sex. Part of that, I think, is that the heavier I get, the less sexy I feel. But I think another part of it is that I replace the satisfied, fufilled feelings of sex with the satisfied, fufilled feeling of food. Food literally replaces sex for me. It’s easier to come by, I don’t feel gross and unattractive to my food and it’s entirely on my own terms. While my husband is occupied all hours of the night on the internet, I’ll stuff my face and go to bed alone and fat and happy(ish).
Yeah, it’s probably an obvious issue to y’all, but I just “got” it.
Thanks for the responses. I like that idea about utensils, but still that’s a fix on the symptom, not the cause. WHY do I want to eat even if I know, a) I’m full and b) extra food means extra time working out or just extra weight. I have to fix my brain, and I did it once before. What’s worse is there are really good reasons to leave food (leftovers are cheaper), and still my brain won’t allow me.
Or is it not my brain? Is it simply will-power and I need some more of it?
Oh, boy, do I love eating. I can totally relate. Here are some tips that have helped me.
You can’t eat it if it’s not in the house. Have a rule about no snacks in the house. If you simply must have it, buy the smallest amount of it. Yes, it’s more economical to buy in bulk. Don’t do it.
Only prepare enough of a healthy, low-calorie meal for you to consume in one sitting. I know making enough for leftovers is a time and money saver. Saving time and money is no good if you’re just going to eat all the food you just made. If you’re really bent on making enough for leftovers, put the food away as soon as you make your serving. Do this six days out of the week. Splurge on the seventh.
When you’re eating out, eat until you’re full and then do one of two things. Sprinkle a packet of Sweet & Low over the rest or get it wrapped up immediately. I used to pick at the rest of the food on my plate even when I was full, especially french fries. Once I made the food on my plate practically inedible, it suddenly stopped being a problem. Getting it wrapped up also gets it out of your reach.
One thing that helped me identify the cause of “why” I ate was doing a two week chart of everything I ate and how I felt at the time I ate it. I did this with the guidance of a nutritionist and we were able to eliminate some of my emotionally triggered eating. I don’t know if seeing a nutritionist would help you, but the one I saw did seem to be trained to help you figure out if there was a deeper root to your eating, and if so, what it was. She was also good with strategies for fixing the symptoms once we found the problems.
Or do like I did when I ordered a calzone and got one the size of my head: cut it in half (or to whatever is a reasonable portion) and put the rest aside, and have it boxed up ASAP rather than at the end of the meal. I split the other half of that calzone with Mr. S for lunch the next day, thus portioning out my calories and still getting to enjoy the same meal twice!
I’ve lost 13 pounds since March 1. (Only 53 to go!) Two minor but highly effective changes I made in my diet were switching from soda (empty calories) to ice water (good for my body, even in large amounts!) and not keeping junk food in the house. Now I munch on “healthy snacks” like baby carrots dipped in a little hummus, low-fat microwave popcorn (the mini bags), or a square of really good dark chocolate.
Another idea: Use smaller dishes. Instead of our big old cereal bowls, I now use the little hand-thrown bowls we got at the local school’s charity soup night.
I’ve also curbed my emotional eating by realizing that after I eat, it doesn’t really make me feel any better – is that few minutes of (dubious) pleasure worth the guilt afterward? Hell no. Better to take a walk or something and get a natural high from those lovely endorphins. Drink some water – often fatigue or crabbiness is really just dehydration.
Take it a step further and parcel out leftovers into single-serving portions. It’s harder to pick at the leftovers if you can see exactly how much you’re taking away from tomorrow’s lunch (dinner, whatever). It also makes it easier to not take a too-big portion tomorrow.
I noticed that since I’ve returned from Puerto Rico (lovely), my portions are smaller. It got to the point where B and I were sharing entrees and having an appetizer (sharing) and then - if at all sharing dessert. Unless it was Mango sherbet - then he got his own cone and I went for a berrylicious something. Ben & Jerry’s in Old San Juan has got to be the coolest of that franchise.
I think it was the heat - I simply couldn’t have rich food just SITTING there in my stomach at that heat temperature. At breakfast, we’d order a Fruit Melange (their name), split an order of muffins, and I’d order coffee (have to). Then we’d watch fellow vacationers in this incredible resort on Vieques eat like triple-decker omelettes with meat on the side and potatoes and bread and muffins and jelly and…I got nauseated just watching.
Now that I am home, I find the smaller portions are still enough. Going to work on keeping it that way. LA is in a month!!
If your problem is what’s on your plate, reduce the size of it. Cook less, put less on your plate, if it turns out you made too much, take one rational helping and freeze/refrigerate the rest. If you go out to eat, order less. If it’s fast food, order off the dollar menu, not the king-sized meals. If it’s a restaurant, ask for an appetizer as a main course.
I think there’s a difference between simple bad eating habits and true compulsive eating disorders. Regularly eating enough to make you feel uncomfortably full, even when you aren’t hungry, keeping it secretive from other people, and feeling guilty and disgusted with yourself afterwards probably isn’t a cycle that’s going to be broken just by buying a bag of baby carrots. Eating rooted in emotional issues would likely benefit from seeing a professional, the suggestion of a nutritionist is a good one I’d never considered. Perhaps you should try and self diagnose a bit to see if it applies, there are many books, or even websites, about compulsive and binge eating disorders.
I also heard that using a smaller plate will psychologically fool you into believing you have the large amount of food, even though you can only fit 2/3 the amount from a regular dinner plate. YMMV.
I’ve tried this before, and it works for me. Amazing how easily the eye is fooled.
I’ve also realized why I overeat. I was really, seriously dirt poor for a few years, and couldn’t afford enough to eat. Now that I can eat as much as I want, some little part of my brain seems to want to “hoard” the food, so leaving even a bite of food on the plate seems wasteful. I would have done anything for that bite of food a few years ago, so now I must eat it.
Sounds like something similar to what I read somewhere. It was an experiment with food sizing, and it found that people habitually ate the same percentage of a food, no matter how much they were given of it. So if I was given 8 ounces of soup I might eat 3/4 of it - 6 ounces. But if I was given 12 ounces, I would also eat 3/4 of it - 9 ounces. It’s habit more than anything else.
Another veteran member of the “clean plate club” checking in. When I was a kid that was my main avenue for garnering praise from my parents. I was the only one who wasn’t a picky eater.
I have loads of ideas but I have to say honestly that nothing has worked for me. I simply lack the motivation to eat less. I’m not as active as you but I do work out regularly and I realize that my problem is eating too much.
I’ve had to ask myself why it is that I’m enjoying being overweight. Sounds ridiculous, right? Enjoy being overweight? Hell no, I hate it! But if you think there may be psychological issues behind your weight you may wish to ask youself that question. Try fill in the blank:
“I like being fat because…”
For me it’s a shield, a barrier, a coat of armor. It’s something to keep people away from me.
I haven’t really figured out how to fix that. Everything else, for me, is just treating the symptoms.
Last night when I was reading this thread, I was looking at suggestions like this and laughing - because when I’m eating the way the OP describes, (as I was at that moment) I don’t bother with a plate. Straight out of the container in which it was bought or cooked in.
If it’s just a matter of portion control, that sounds like a great idea. If there’s something else going on (which there must be for me, even though I can’t figure out what it is) that doesn’t even slow me down.
Not keeping snacks in the house? There’s a corner store 4 blocks away. They’re open until 2am. I’ve been there at 1:45 - because at that moment I really, really wanted (not hungry, but really wanted) a bag of chips and couldn’t talk myself out of it.
It’s gotten worse, recently. I now weigh the second highest I’ve ever weighed in my life. And I don’t seem to be able to make myself stop. And that’s really scary.
