I just ate half one and it was delicious. But kinda tough. Ususally I let them sit for a couple days but this one I didn’t.
Question: How does one tell when a melon is ready to eat? My girlfreind told me to “Thump” it. How the hell does that tell you anything? 
Confused in NC
You knock on it with your knuckles. When it sounds slightly hollow, it’s ready to it.
Hard to explain, but you know it when you know it. Next time you’re at the grocery, knock on a few melons and listen to the different sounds.
Damn! Damn!
By “ready to it” I of course mean “ready to eat”.
When I buy rockmelons (which is what we call canteloupes here), I just make sure that they’re firm and that they smell fresh.
The stem scar should smell ripe.
And it should be soft.
Yeah, sniff a cantalope, thump a watermelon. Also, don’t buy it if it’s “squishy” because it’s too ripe. The stem scar should be soft, but the rest of the melon should be firm. 
That’s what I meant to say - the stem scar, not the melon, should be soft. I should have been more specific. 
If you have a cold you can also look at the stem scar. Dark green = not ripe.
So I went to the grocery store and began fiddling with various melons…
Sound #1: Shocked women’s shrieks and cries for help.
Sound #2: The impact of hands, purses, and other handy items with my head and neck.
Sound #3: the pounding feet of clerks, security guards, and other customers.
Sound #4: Voices hurling insults, threats, and demands that I never return, as I am “escorted” out of the store.
Eating fruit at various stages of rot is a personal preference. If you like your 'lopes soft, then you want the less firm/solid sounding ones.
For example, tap your desk. Hear that firm clear sound? Now tap your seat cushion. See how that softness cuts down on the thud?
Tapping melons can yield somewhat similar results. Generally, if you want the meat soft, choose the softest mellon and the stem area should be getting soft, too.
Sure, if the 'lope is too soft…it’s too rotted. So, you’ll have to go the trial by error route.
(there’s porno in that post somewhere.)
The stem on a ripe canteloupe will easily come loose, or slip. If the stem slip hole is “clean”, (most of them are) it was ripe when picked.
I look for close netting, and if the rind behind the netting is green, I don’t buy that one. The firmness depends mostly on the rainfall where the melon was grown. Lots of rain means more water in the fruit.
“At any vegetable market
From Borneo to Nome
You mustn’t squeeze a melon
'Til you get the melon home.”
Ogden Nash - The Cantaloupe
“One cantaloupe is ripe and lush,
Another’s green, another’s mush.
I’d buy a lot more cantaloupe
If I possessed a fluoroscope.”
Heck, Picking out the good cataloupes is very easy. A rind that’s just a smidgen soft and a slightly hollow sound and you can’t go wrong.
I’d like some way to know about honeydew. The flesh in those damn things is always white, hard, and lacking flavor, or else it’s an overripe green goo-pile inside. Damn if I can fighure out how to tell from the outside.
Suggestions?
When a honeydew tells you to clean out the garage, it’s ready. 
A ripe cantalop is yellow under the webbing when ripe.
Spelling and grammer subject to change without notice.
Has anybody else tried the Orange Flesh Honeydew? It looks like a honeydew on the outside, but inside it looks like a cantaloupe. It has the flavor of a cantaloupe, but it is much sweeter. It is a specialty melon so it is kind of hard to find, but if you see them, try it. It’s like a super-sweet cantaloupe.