I’m sick of buying mediocre watermelons.
Does anyone have any secrets to picking a good one - aside from growing it yourself?
The only type that I normally have access to are the seedless type that Walmart usually carries.
I’ve had delicious ones of that type, but I’ve purchased a LOT more mediocre ones.
Buy them in season and from local sources.
IMHO, they’re better if there was a lot of rain at the beginning of summer. And seedless watermelons lose in flavor what they gain in convenience, so if you want flavor: get there before everyone else and eat the heart section. Fuck 'em, they’d do the same to you. In fact, tap the watermelon with your hand, and the one that seems the most like your worst enemy’s shaved head as he kneels at the block is the one to choose.
Look at the yellow spot on the underside… Bright yellow,too ripe with a mealy texture. White spot,not ripe,not sweet. You want a creamy tending to yellow… that should be delicious…
This may not be scientific (it’s old midwest folk wisdom), but if you knock on the melon with your knuckles, the more baritone the ‘tunk’ noise it makes, the more ripe and juicy the melon will be. If you get more of a ‘tink’ than a ‘tunk’, pass it by.
That’s what I thought - for the melon that I bought two days ago. It was exactly that, but it’s not delicious. It’s mediocre.
I’ve got (does the math) 22+ years in the produce business and can pick out a good watermelon most of the time. Tap them and listen for an echo. If they sound hollow, they’re good, just get a thump it’s probably really, really over ripe. It’s hard to explain, but I have a lot of experience.
I always think it’s funny when I see a customer hitting all the melons (be it watermelons or any other kind, it only works with watermelons) and then they look at me and say “excuse me sir, how do I pick out a good melon”, I always want to come back with “well, if you don’t know, why where you hitting them? Were you expecting one to say ‘I’m good!’?”.
I certainly know better than to buy them out of season.
As I said in the first question - I normally don’t have access to local sources.
Even if I do have access to local sources, how do I then choose a good one? The vendor is not necessarily going to tell me if the ones that he/she has are bad or mediocre.
So it seems that sound is the best indicator?
It’s the best way I know. But in my store we’re more than happy to just cut it open for you (and even let you taste it). As I always tell my customers, I’d much rather open one or two so you can get a good one, or even say ‘no, I don’t like the way they taste’ than to spend 8 or 9 dollars, get home and be mad at me/my store for selling you a crappy watermelon.
The tough thing about watermelons is that unlike most other produce until they’re really, really bad nothing on the outside changes. The outer shell doesn’t change color, it doesn’t get any softer, it doesn’t smell any different.
I mean, if you pick it up and your hand goes through the bottom and rotten watermelon pours out onto your shoes, don’t buy that one. Other than that, sound is the only semi-reliable way that I know without cracking it open.
I normally buy them only in July or August. What do you consider “in season?”
If you tell me I can get a good one at wally world now, I’ll go tomorrow and get one. 
Good advice - and really, what I expected.
So, is this a fair statement?:
There is no way to judge the quality or ripeness of some (most?) fruits by appearance (or sound?) alone.
*
(I understand that a fruit that is perfectly ripe may not be perfectly “good.” Growing conditions vary. All I want is a ripe fruit.)*
They’ve got them here in Georgia at Walmart now. How do I (or anyone else) know which one is a good one?
I agree you might want to wait until actual watermelon season (June-Sept in Georgia) to maximize your chances of finding something decent (I guess they don’t offer taste samples at Walmart?)
Nope. Not at this one. Not at any one?
Apart from picking it up and making sure it’s heavy, and rapping your knuckle against it to hear a good hollow sound, look at the stem (where it was attached to the vine) and try to pick one with a relatively small diameter with the surrounding area raised as high as possible, kind of like a deep belly button. A stem with a big circumference tends to overwater the flesh and dilutes the sweetness, making it watery.
Look for thick, dark stripes that have deep contrast with the green rind. If they look like they are raised against the rind, even better. Sunlight is manna to watermelons and these stripes act as an indicator of how much sun they’ve received. Watermelons grown in the shade will have lighter, faded stripes.
You can also look at the bottom, (where the flower used to be). Although it won’t help with gauging sweetness too much, you can tell when it’s ready to eat. It should be the size of nickel. Too small and it will be underripe and too big means it’s overripe.
Source: My uncle who grows watermelons in the summer and sells them to the local farmers’ association.
Some people don’t know better…because someone’s buying watermelons and peaches in January in Boston!
I do agree with the “thunk” method. I also smell fruit before buying. If it doesn’t smell like anything, it won’t taste like anything. You don’t want a melon that smells too watermellony, but you want to smell something faintly.
I guess that’s also hard to explain.
As for locale, go with the one that’s travelled least.
You said you got one a couple of days ago. They are not in season yet in Georgia. Mid to late June would be the earliest.
You are right. I meant that I wouldn’t buy one in the winter, but these melons are not grown in Georgia - I don’t know where they are grown, but they are in season somewhere, aren’t they?
They may be in season somewhere, but if that somewhere is not where you are, then they had to travel a long way under who-knows-what conditions to get to you. They’ve likely suffered on the journey, and/or been bred to withstand travel at the expense of other qualities, and either way, they’ll end up being inferior.
And what’s the point of seedless watermelon? Spitting out the seeds is half the fun!