Car lights blinking - stuck relay?

Factual Questions
1

My car is doing this VERY weird thing. An audible clicking comes from beneath the dashboard on the driver’s side, and the dashboard lights and the running lights blink along with it. If the driver’s door is open, then the warning buzzer goes on and off in concert, whether or not the key is in the ignition.

This goes on for a while, then goes off at random times while driving. Turning on the running lights keeps them and the dashboard lights from flashing. Parking the car and walking away will let the whole thing settle down after a few minutes, and it will stop.

This is not a stuck hazard lights button. That still works independently, and is on a different timing schedule - faster. Well, atleast it looks like its normal from the inside. I didn’t step out to see which schedule the running lights and taillights were were working on while both the problem flashing and the hazard flashing were going.

Suggestions?

2

My WAG is that you have something that is shorted and controlled by a relay. The relay kicks in, shorting + and - together, which makes all of your lights blink, etc. I had a dead ECM which did the same thing. I pulled the ECM relay out of the fuse box and the symptoms went away, although without an ECM the car’s mileage went to hell in a handbasket. But at least it was still drivable, and it’s not like the ECM was working if I left the relay in.

You’ll probably be able to figure out which relay it is just by touching them. The one that is trying to drive the short will get very hot. If not, then just pull them one at a time until the symptoms disappear. Once you know what circuit has the fault, then you have to trace it down to see which component failed.