Look, you fucker, just because there is no car at the stop sign on the street you are turning left into, that does not mean there is no car approaching that stop sign. Swooping at a 45 degree angle across two(!) streets worth of traffic is not a proper left turn; it is sloppy, inattentive, and dangerous driving.
That thing you’ve got your hands on, well maybe one hand as the other is busy with your cell phone, or maybe it’s your knee as the other other hand is dialing the cell phone, or maybe it’s your other knee as the first knee has a go-cup of coffee balanced on it that you’re sipping on - well, anyway - that thing that both of your hands should be on is called a fucking steering wheel, and it should be used to turn your fucking car at a 90 degree angle from the right side of the street you’re turning from onto the right side of the street you’re turning to.
And when I honk at you, because you came out of fucking nowhere at me on my side of the street, and only an emergency brake on my part enabled the braking not to be supplied by the respective left front ends of both of our cars, do not somehow free up a middle finger from what ever duty that you had it assigned to. (Probably picking toilet paper out of your ass.)
Because next time your sloppy, inattentive, dangerous, and braindead driving causes me to get the finger from you, I’m going to turn around, catch you, break off that finger, and stuff it into your ear. In the hopes that brain cell fission occurs inside your skull.
I hate that shit; it tends to happen to me when I’m coming out of a parking lot and people are making left turns. There’s also an intersection at work that I have to be very careful at; two directions have stop signs, and one doesn’t. For some reason, people think it’s a three way stop. Those people tend to cut the corners off the turn, too.
I love that. Someone does something incredibly stupid on the road, and your honk is the only thing keeping them out of the hospital, the grave, or thousands of dollars in repairs, and they repay you with the finger. Happens more often than not. I’ll never understand why people feel like they have to drive with their dicks in this country.
It was such a fun game to see how close I could come to these morons. I’d just pull right up into my lane like they weren’t there. In a way, I was helping them improve their avoidance driving skills. Skills so desperately needed when you drive with your head up your ass.
Its amazing how quick they learned. I never seemed to get a trophy (scratch) on my corner fender.
And the finger issue never came up. Something about screaming in terror prevented them from giving me a salute.
This happens a lot on one of the intersections near my work, but I think it’s just an honest mistake. Sometimes it’s hard to see the markings on the road and figure out where the lane ends. Especially if the road you’re turning into has a left-turn lane and there’s no car there. And especially if the ground is slightly convex (e.g. intersection is at the top of a hill).
I bet the jerks that do this are the same ones that stop a full car’s length beyond the line so everybody making a left turn has to swing wide like they’re driving a damn semi.
I had a guy do something really similar once, at a light there was a large van to my right while I was turning left, light turns green and I start rolling out slowly (because I cant see shit from my right) when a car comes flying in from the right turning into the lot I am leaving, as I jam on the brakes and horn he goes zooming past, phone firmly planted to face yelling and screaming at me…with the windows of both cars up.
I admit it made me want to go back into the lot and see if I could spot him.
Why is it that the worst drivers are usually the first to blame the person that they almost hit? Is there some kind of transference going on?
I could have told the story in the OP. And yes, I got blamed for it.
Then there was this one time when I, as a pedestrian, was crossing at an intersection. (And yes, I had the signal.) Some waste of spooje pulled out from across the street and turned right into the crosswalk. He was very clearly looking in a direction that had little to do with where he was going. I was pretty much frozen in fear as I saw the front of his giant pickup head straight towards me. Thankfully, he decided to look where he was going at the last minute, and slammed on his breaks about 3 feet away from me.
I got yelled at good for that one. And truly, I learned my lesson.
The lesson being, of course, not to be on the same street as a clueless moron.
