My wife and I went to visit my mother yesterday for July 4th. My mother suggested that we go visit a local carnival, which put up posters all day saying they were going to be running from 12 noon until 11 p.m. that day.
SOOOoo . . .we drove 20 minutes to get there, and when we got there we noticed something strange.
None of the rides were operating. Hmmm .well, maybe there’s not too many people at the carnival yet, and that’s why the rides aren’t running. So we get to the parking lot, and there’s another bad sign: we easily found a parking spot.
Thinking the carnival was not open yet, and my mother was mistaken, we said, let’s just go back home. As we left the carnival, we saw another poster, saying in BIG BOLD LETTERS: ** xxxxxxxxxx CARNIVAL, JULY 4TH, 12 NOON UNTIL 11 P.M.**
Okay, were here now, the poster sez it’s open, maybe the carnival is just dead, it is 4:30, let’s turn back around and check it out.
We go down to the carnival and up to the ticket booth and see the following handwritten sign:
CARNIVAL CLOSED FROM 4-6.
WHAT the FUCK??? No wonder no one was here. They all saw that sign and went home disgusted.
Completely exasperated, we went to a lady behind a carnival merchandise booth, which was conveniently open. She was nice enough, and explained that the carnival was closed because the workers had to eat dinner, and they tried doing it other ways before, but this was the only way they could get something to eat.
OKAY- a few points here.
FIRST, let’s assume that it is okay to totally shut down an entire carnival for 2 hours the workers could eat dinner.
Gee, it would be nice to know this AHEAD OF TIME!!! Instead of printing 12-11pm on your posters, how about making it clear the carnival operating hours are 12-4 and 6-11??? Is that asking too much so people don’t have to waste their day off driving to your goddamned carnival?
Now, that said, I do NOT think it is acceptable to shut down a carnival for 2 hours for this! I mean . . . does it take 2 FRIGGIN’ HOURS TO EAT DINNER??? There were about 6 FOOD booths at the carnival, right??? Where is everyone going for dinner- the Denny’s 40 minutes away??? 30 minutes isn’t sufficient time to shut down the damn thing so the workers can feed their guts???
NOW- on to the real point at hand.
Did these morons ever realize that there is such thing as . . rotating shifts??? As in, hey why don’t you just shut down your specific booth at an allotted time for 30-60 minutes to take a break, and everyone else keep theirs open, then when you get back, they close down???
The lady said they weren’t able to do this in the past . . . gee, I’ve never been to any other carnival that just arbitrarily shut down in the middle of the day without telling anyone, so maybe the problem is with . . YOU?
To make things worse, my aunt brought her 4-year-old grandson to the carnival so he could go on a few rides. When she got there at 3:45pm, she was told the carnival was closing. When asked why the rides were closing, the carnival worker explained “Hey, we gotta eat sometime!”
Nice answer, jitwad. Tell that to the little boy, who went into a complete screaming fit because as a 4 year old, HE doesn’t understand that a carnival closes for 2 damn hours so you lazy fucks can take a 2 hour dinner break.
Oh and by the way, I don’t care if the people working there were paid or volunteer. If you volunteer for something, and can’t give 100%, don’t fucking volunteer. Stay at home. And if you are having trouble finding volunteers, then fuck it, no carnival. Why waste everyone’s time?
Now, to the carnival’s credit, they did have about seven booths open. 5 craft booths, the carnival merchandise booth (as if I would buy one of their tee shirts). and a petting zoo. Great. I get screwed out of a carnival, but I get to pet some smelly, flea-infested goat, and catch ecol i. in the process. Whoopee! I get to sit in a hospital bed wearing a cheaply made brown ironed-on Fruit-of-the-Loom. However, I’m sure my misery will be alleviated by enjoying that brand new over-priced piece of shit wicker basket that some scam-artist tried to pass on as her own after she probably bought it at the same factory that makes them for K-mart.
To cap off our fine day, as I was leaving, they had barricades set up, and only one car could get in and out at a time. Not thinking, and this is totally my fault, I went right through after the guy in front of me, forgetting to let the car coming in through next, which is common courtesy. Maybe I was just anxious to get out of lame-o land.
But instead of just waving me through, one of the parking lot monitors yelled, “Thanks for waiting!” at me.
You know what lady? Thanks for wasting an hour of my life.
To you and the organizers of said Carnival from Hell, and other assorted ass clowns involved in this fiasco, I say:
1. Fuck you.
2. Fuck your carnival.
3. And fuck your future carnivals.
Thanks for ruining that little boy’s day, you insensitive, incompetent fucks.