Cars and dumbshits don't mix.

The BBQ Pit
1

Last night, my car has a pristine front bumper. Today, I notice a 20cm long scrape-and-scratch mark on it, in light tan paint (my car is silver). Obviously, from the placement of the scratch, someone has been reversing out of our work carpark and has hit my bumper. There’s only one person here who drives a light tan car, and she was parked next to me this morning. This was pretty much the only opportunity for damage too; I didn’t go out last night, neither did my car. It can’t have happened at home either; my parking space “protects” that bumper. So it had to have happened this morning.

I had a look at her bumper; a streak of silver paint. At exactly the same height. Either there’s one hell of a coincidence happening here, or I have my culprit.

Had you come in and said, “I’m sorry, I’ve put a scrape in both our bumpers” I’d be okay with that. I would have taken a look at it, and said, “Shit happens,” because it does sometimes. After all, it’s not like you’ve written my car off. It’s just a long scrape along my car’s previously immaculate bumper.

But. But you didn’t do that. What, you thought I wouldn’t notice? No fucking chance. You’ve come into my office on half a dozen different occasions today to talk to me, and you’ve looked me in the eye and been all friendly (which should be enough to tip me off, since you’re usually such a cranky cow). You haven’t said a frickin’ word about it. And don’t tell me you didn’t notice, because if you didn’t, then you’re deaf and pay no attention to what’s happening in the car you’re driving.

So, I’ve lost my “shit happens” approach where this specific incident is concerned. I’m mad. I’m fucking angry. Like, insert about two hundred :mad:'s here. I’m fucked off[sup]3[/sup]. I call you a craven poltroon. I now regard you as lower than slug-slime. I fart in your general direction. I state openly that you have the ethical and moral standards of a dog with a severe case of the running shits caught short on a golf club fairway. I call you cowardly, sneaky and spineless; I would refer to you as a quisling were it appropriate, simply because I like the word. I bite my thumb at you…

[Basil Fawlty]
…and I will insert a large garden gnome in you.
[/Basil Fawlty]

Honest to God, had this sorry sack of rejected fish neurones said something, I would have left it alone. No big drama. I just hate the fucked-in-the-head train of thought that goes, “No big deal I won’t mention it and that’ll make it like it never happened.” Fuck.

I’m done. Thanks for reading.

2

Snap some pictures of the paint smudges on both cars quick before she cleans hers up, and ask her to pay for damages.

3

why not ask for your paint back? tell her she can have her’s back too.

4

to be perfectly honest though you should know not to park next to a woman.

5

Niobium Knight, thanks for the paint comment - I sorely needed the laugh.

But :stuck_out_tongue: on the “woman driver”; I’m female too.

6

You know, tavalla, I gotta admit, I always had you pegged as a guy. [sub]Sorry![/sub]

7

Don’t fret :). I’m always amused by the way I build up mental pictures of dopers/email friends - I’m usually several miles off-base.

8

Actually, cars and dumbshits do mix, which is why the fucknut you describe is in the situation she’s in.

Agreed with Badtz Maru. Take some Polaroids and confront her.

I deal with this quite a bit in New York City, where people tend to use the “park by feel” method and have the attitude that if someone didn’t actually witness them fucking up the bumper of the car in front of/in back of them, that they’re not responsible. My old car traded so much paint with these assholes that you could look at my bumper and swear you were having an intense acid flashback.

It’s such a tremendous pain that no one wants to take responsibility for these minor mistakes. It’s impossible to park a nice car on the street in Manhattan (unless you want it to turn into a not-so-nice car in short order). It’s also the reason why you see people applying aftermarket bumper covers and such.

Nail her ass to the wall. Please.

9

In Colorado, this is almost as bad as hit-and-run. I’m serious. It’s actually illegal, there’s actually a law, that prohibits driving away without leaving your insurance information on the other car you hit.

Take pictures. Make sure they show both your and her license plate and the scratchs, then also a close-up of the scratchs. Look up your local laws and see if this is illegal where you are. Ask her about it, regardless - you don’t have to tell her about the pictures if you don’t want to. If she denies it all, you may be able to drag her into court.

She may think you’re an asshole for doing it. Perhaps
she’s right. Maybe it really was an accident and she doesn’t even know she did it. It doesn’t matter - it’s your car she screwed up. She has no right to damage your property. And she may (check local laws) have a legal obligation to fix it if she does - even if it was an accident. Hell, that’s why insurance is mandatory, right? Because we never know when we’re going to get into an accident.
-Ben