I guess I should be insulted. I am. Since I joined first, Guin is the white Biggirl.
Is it just me, or does it seem fishy that Mr. Burritos-from God, $500/hour, I-fuck-supermodelshas enough spare time on his hand to make over* thirty* posts today? Or that he has made over 1000 since September? If I made cash like that, I think I would be living more like Richard Branson, than spending my time trying to impress a bunch of strangers, that I hold in contempt. Bad enough to be an asshole; worse still to be a phony one. Fucking troll.
Post 277:
Post 279:
Post 280:
Someone who strives to be an asshole, but, failing that, pretends to be an asshole?
Dude, way harsh.
Heh, cool.
As for original thought, dude, can you come up with anything other than, “Liberal douche”? Or is that the best you can think of?
Sorry, I meant to link to the meltdown, but I screwed up the search and didn’t feel like waiting around for the search engine to refresh before going to bed.
S/he was claiming to be a wealthy lawyer until Bricker finally called him out with a first-year law school question.
The calling out and meltdown
The final post, in which he says he was doing us all a favor by shaking up our worldview, and anyway he’s a decorated war hero so shut up.
However, one of the most fun troll meltdowns, IMO, was Updike. When he was getting his ass handed to him from both ends of the political spectrum over his demands that a kidnapped American reporter be hanged as a traitor, he pulled out a last ditch trump card: My parents died in 9/11! So there!
Wasn’t quite true
He made an apology and then quickly tried to deflect criticism by crying racism
My point is that Rand Rover doesn’t exist. Sure, there’s a real person typing out responses, but you folks are arguing with an avatar. His life is make believe; in my opinion, so are his views. It’s the classic definition of a troll.
This is my off season; it’s cold out. I’m bored. So, I hang out on the Dope to pass the time. This asshole has more time to post and less to do, in real life, than me. He’s a made up asshole, with a made up life, that is bored and looking for a reaction from all of you ‘hippies’. So fuck him.
and Rand? When you read this, and get pissed, and write something shitty about me?
Here’s my response: YOU DO NOT EXIST.
I’m actually going to cut and paste that as my first response.
If anyone gives a shit, my net worth is over a million dollars, I am surrounded by people that love me. I’m living a carefree existence in God’s country. I could die tomorrow without regret. I only share this because I expect to be insulted about these facts soon; failing that, this will be the only time I bring it up. Thank you for your time.
Most Esteemed Mr. Chacoguy:
I am very much pleased to be making the acquaintance of you! My good friend, Mr. E. Luci, informs me that you would possibly being interested in a most excellent business opportunity!
My late father was the Finance Minister of Guanoland, and has pass away most suddenly, our people pull their eyelids in sorrow. But he has left no instructions about much foreign investment! The jute harvest is bad this year in Guanoland, and we are needing most urgently to transfer these funds…
Boo.
You are not my foe. I have no quarrel with you.
Hiya!
I shall have my solicitors contact you to make arrangements. Expect to receive a letter from the law firm of Twitterpated, Honeyfuddle, Grawlix & Spondular. Thank you.
Forgive me; we were talking about how the files, on the inmates, held in Guantanamo Bay’s prison, were in disarray?
Apparently, you’ve never gotten one of the legendary Nigerian scam spam. A pity, one of life’s minor pleasures.
Spondular? Crandal Spondular? Is that you?
Oh that was my favorite! “Waaah, if you can’t handle a little torture, and you give in to terrorists, you’re a traitor and deserve the death penalty!” “Oh wait-I can’t handle getting my ass kicked in the Pit, so I’ll lie and say my parents died in 9/11, and then everyone will feel sorry for me an d leave me alone!!!”
That was 36 flavors of awesome! Best. Meltdown. Ever.
Mr E. Luci? second cousin of the esteemed Dr. E. Coli by any chance?
Um, that’s the joke, smart guy. But thanks for pointing it out for the slow kids.
Oh, I see. So that must also explain the rest of your posts in this thread. I finally get it!
You’re welcome. It was so devastatingly billiant that I felt the need to make sure it was understood even by those poor benighted masses that are not jillionaires who hire Donald Trump to gold-plate their bowel movements before flushing them.