Cast the next 'Surreal Life'

Cafe Society
1

What would be your ultimate cast for the ‘Surreal Life’? I think VH1 uses the formula of bringing together 7 has-beens/b-listers under one roof for one madcap season of surreality.

Here’s a list of who’s already degraded themselves on this basic-cable debacle:

Corey Feldman
Emmanuel Lewis
Jerri Manthey
MC Hammer
Brande Roderick
Vince Neil
Gabrielle Carteris
Tammy Faye Bakker
Traci Bingham
Trishelle Cannatella
Erik Estrada
Vanilla Ice
Ron Jeremy
Brigette Nielsen
Flavor Flav
Ryan Starr
Dave Coullier
Jordan Knight
Charo
Verne Troyer
Christopher Knight
Joanie ‘Chyna Doll’ Laurer
Adrianne Curry
Marcus Schenkenberg
Da Brat
Jane Wiedlin
Jose Canseco
Caprice Bourret
Sandra ‘Pepa’ Denten
Janice Dickinson
Carey Hart
Omorosa
Bronson Pinchot
I’ve got two wish lists:

Joey Lawrence– from TV’s ‘Blossom’
Paul Reubens– Pee Wee Herman
George Tekai– Star Trek’s Mr. Sulu
Farrah Fawcett– original ‘Angel’ and 70s pin-up
John Wayne Bobbit– guy who got his member chopped off
Dionne Warwick– singer/psychic
Asia Carerra– pornstar

&

Michael Winslow– the human sound effect from ‘Police Academy’
Ted Nugent– the Motor City Madman
Faith Evans– singer/Notorious B.I.G.'s widow
Rosie O’Donnell– talk-show host/comedian
Kelly Monaco– soap actress and winner of ‘Dancing with the Stars’
Beetlejuice– Howard Stern regular
Danny Pintauro– the little kid on ‘Who’s the Boss?’

2

You left Gary Coleman off your list of the already-degraded.

Everyone I can think of who I’d like to see on the show is, I come to realize, dead.

3

I don’t think Gary was a cast member. He was just a ‘Regular Guest.’

4

Jimmy Swaggart
Jessica Hahn

5

Butterbean.

Mike Tyson.

Desiree Washington.

Tawana Brawley.

Jayson Blair.

6

I’ll take Joey Lawrence and George Takei from the above and add

Tonya Harding (who’d do it for the food)
Leif Ericsen (who’d do it for the camera)
Robin Leach (who’d do it to annoy)
Soleil Moon Frye

7

Can we add Danny Bonaduce and OJ? Maybe they’ll kill each other.

8

I’d like a fantasy/sci-fi themed surreal life…

Dirk Benedict (Starbuck from BSG)
Linda Carter (from Wonder Woman)
Lou Ferrigno (from the Hulk)
William Katt (fram Greatest American Hero)
Gil Gerard (from Buck Rogers)
Tom Baker (from Dr Who)
Roddy McDowell (from Planet of the Apes)
and special obscure guest star Carrie Henn (Newt, from Aliens).

9

Martha Stewart
Terell Owens
Bjork
Whitney Houston
OJ Simpson
Rush Limbaugh
Michael Moore

10

Danny Bonaduce
Asia Carerra
Ami Cusack
Snoop Dogg
Tonya Harding
Rush Limbaugh
Meat Loaf

11

I’d so watch this.

12

Not a bad list, but they’d have to have Roddy’s casket or urn in the room because he’s, umm, dead.

13

But he did a mind meld with Liz Taylor as he died, so perhaps they could use her to capture his essence.

14

How about an all-musical show (this being VH1 and all):

Oderus Orungus (lead singer of GWAR)
Chaka Khan
Juice Newton
Samantha Fox
Skee Lo
Kyle Gass
Baby Spice