Castrated male checking in

In My Humble Opinion
1

I share a house with the Love Of My Life. She’s wonderful, so it’s just a nitpick for me to say that she refuses to do laundry. She goes on about how her stay-at-home-mom was always bent over the sink or an ironing board, slaving away, obsessed over getting oxford-cloth shirts just right and so on. So, as a matter of principle, she refuses to be like that. She is convinced that if she did one load of laundry, feminism would die, the 19th amendment would be repealed, PBS would start funding “The Man Show,” and all women would be forced to dress as Hooters waitresses.

I’ve assured her I do not want all women to dress as Hooters waitresses. Especially her mother. But it falls on deaf ears.

So I do the laundry. Last week, I was at the top of the stairs with a huge armload, so big I could barely see where I was going. I felt some article of clothing drop from the pile. Now, I could have left it there, gone down the stairs to the laundry room and come back for the dropped piece. But why make two trips, right? So I decided to kick the piece down the stairs.

Aiming for the imaginary uprights, I boot it. In a second, I hear a yowl of outrage. Love Of My Life chose that moment to come around the corner and got wapped in the face with a pair of sweatpants that had absorded the musk scent of my virile aroma. As a bonus, I had also shed the boxers when I shed the sweatpants, and these were included in the face-plant.

Now there is no way I could have done this on purpose, right? I couldn’t see where I was going. So she has to know it’s an accident, right? Right?

Wrong. Love Of My Life spent nearly the entire day fuming mad at me. And she has brought up the incident, not once, not twice, but three times, each time with a tone of severe accusation as if I had deliberately wrecked the Exxon Valdez for the sheer meanness of it.

Why, why don’t women just let things go? Why can’t my cars, or at least their warranties, last as long as chicks’ grievances? What steams me is that I know full well that if I had been the recipient of this face-wapping, she would have laughed all week about it and would be offended if I complained.

2

Well… I can’t speak to the “refusing to clean thing.” I actually LIKE cleaning. (I am sick, I guess.) My mom was kind of a slob, so I enjoy making the house look nice now that I am grown up. But hey, if she doesn’t want to do laundry, that’s her thing.

As for being mad- Sometimes we females are not in the best of moods and the least thing gets blown out of proportion in our heads. Top that off with physical discomfort, and you have some serious sulking to look forward to. Trust me. Or ask my husband. Usually these things blow over. And you could have gone back for it, as you mentioned. It is usually not good practice to throw/kick things about inside-especially if you can’t see where they might land!:wink:

3

So can you still grow a beard?

4

Oh wait. I thought this was one of those “Ask the…” threads.

Never mind.

Happy

5

Agh, I get so sick of all men telling us how all women act. I don’t do this. I’m a woman. Therefore, ergo and ipso facto, not all women do this. Kapiche?

6

Boy, featherlou must be in a bad mood to blow this out of proportion so…

:wink:

7

yeah, all women say that…

(hehehe)

8

Such is the nature of this message board that I opened this thread realistically entertaining the possibility that it would be about a guy who had undergone actual testicular removal, not figurative testicular removal.

9

youre not the only one. But then again, I imagine such a thread would’ve been titled something along the lines of “Ask the eunuch.”

10

Jesus H. Christ, he’s already banned?

11

Yeah.

12

you know, I’m a patient man. I love my girlfriend, and I even loved my ex-wife.

But if my girl was that upset, I would stop doing her laundry, and tell her to do it herself. I would only do my laundry.

This would probably degenerate into a nasty fight with my Ex… heheheh

13

Banned by David B for daring to mock the ban stick.

14

I guess mods are like cops. Don’t give them any lip, or they’ll make sure you accidentally get two black eyes from “falling down”.

Not that this is such a bad thing. It probably keeps the trolling down, which is one of the things I really like about this board.

Having said that, though, I have noticed some mods locking threads or banning posters for what I perceive to be personal reasons, rather than “professional” ones.

Oh, the colorful mosaic of human personalities…:smiley:

15

Just for the record-- Mods cannot ban, only admins can.

16

Looks like our recently banned nice guy was again castrated.

We need Jr Mods for their tact and pleasantries, esp. to filter out “time wasters” as put by David B

17

Do not taunt the Happy Ban Stick.

If the Happy Ban Stick looks in your direction, say a Hail Cecil while stepping away from the Pit.

While the Happy Ban Stick is not flammable, keep the Happy Ban Stick away from open flame or volatile liquids.

Cecil’s Spumco’s, Inc, is not responsible for the actions of the Happy Ban Stick.

18

Your girl is in a snit and this removes your balls? How firmly attached ARE those, anyhow? When I’m in a snit, Drachillixgives me leeway, but his testicles say firmly attached, epecially after a laundry-induced snit. Now, if it were a caught-in-the-act-with-another-woman snit, the testicles would HAVE to go. But not for laundry.