{{{Taters and family}}}
Yes, this is the much older guy. And, yes, hubby told him to stay away last night. Hubby pointed out their age difference and pointed out the fact that they are both in very different places in their lives right now.
Oh, she definitely meant to hurt him. She wanted him to feel a little of what she was feeling, and told me so. What she said was very cruel and I was shocked that it came from her. All of this is just so out of character for her, that’s why we stepped in.
You know, we were going to compromise and let him come, then she started in about this whole living together thing when she went to college. That put the hubby over the top.
I called the school today in hopes that I could get her set up with a counselor. I figured if she could talk to a disinterested party that didn’t know us, that she might understand, just a little, the reason for our objections. However, the stupid school hasn’t called me back yet.
I’m going to try again, though.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve only made small inroads to this weeks MMP, but I’m thinking something was forgotten.
Ahem! <clears throat>
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DEAR ACBG
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOUUUUUUU!
Spats Your first pun was more like a bad pick-up line. And I had the foresight to avoid the second one.
Is mika mutating?
I am officially smitten by a girl I will never ever meet. She’s the one in the white lab coat on the boxes of HP 98X Toner cartridges. Mmmmm, yummy.
It has been 3 hours and no more puking or wounding. I went and got gas. I am thinking pizza for dinner tonight, I don’t feel like cooking.
FCM, 4 piles of puke? Bernie must have an upset tummy to leave that much cat pate lying around.
mika, the doc took me to a derm conference. I don’t think she would have taken me to an eye conference unless I looked like the thing in the Zune ad.
{{{Taters}}}
Sean, ahem
dogbut, Bernie isn’t a hork eater - ever. Pixel probably would have been, but there’s no way we could have had her in a house with a cat, so it’s a non-issue.
Chicken veggie soup simmering on the stove. Critters fed, dishwasher emptied and refilled. Who’d’a thunk I’d be so organized on a Tuesday??
The cat just bit the dog’s ear. 3 hours without violence or puking, that may be a new record. 
I think that that might only come with time…not trying to be hurtful here. It’s a bad situation all around, but at least she let it spill and you found out about it. Then again, once she is at school-you would not have any control over her actions etc.
Myself-I would put the ball in her court. Something along the lines of “you want to be treated like an adult and resent our interference; show us that you can make mature decisions about your near future. Scheming to live together without our knowledge or approval is not that kind of decision.”
No, I don’t know how to pull that off, just something I think needs to be said.
I have written to the Head Honcho o’ Buses. Hope I get some answers, since Tasha never called. It’s ok-it’s ONLY MY KID. :rolleyes:
Once again, I made some gooooooood soup - chickie veggie. Yum!
So I know what I’m having for lunch tomorrow - chickie veggie soup. Yum!
That’s all. Just had to share. 
{{{Taters and Mr. Taters and TatersDaughter}}} I’m so sorry to hear about the blow-up. Unfortunately, I think it happens in just about every family, at least to a certain degree. They’re growing pains and it sounds like you’ve hit a major growth spurt there.
I think what bothers me the most about this whole thing is the actual concealment. You’ve had an odd feeling about the guy for a while; I wonder if it wasn’t because he was concealing the nature of their relationship and their plans from you. Do you think your daughter felt they had to conceal this because you’d disapprove? Even if it’s not immediately, I think it’s a very good idea to talk to a disinterested party; I also like rigs’ suggestions.
Sorry about the situation with your Dad, Puggy. Keep us updated while we all keep you in our thoughts and prayers. More hugs to you too…
Hee…I like the idea of Alistair’s SO showing up here at some point. It’s clearly a good sign if she’s interested in these boards. Maybe she can stop by and whisper her secret identity in our ears so that she can keep you confused AND keep us amused? No?
Bad pun, Spats. Congrats…oh, and on the date, too.
Navaja! Heee. (Or ji, really.)
I had a stressful day at work today. Any spare [del]likker[/del] nerve tonic out there? My CD drive is right here ---------------------------------------------------->
I know I’ve forgotten several responses I wanted to give. I’ll stop back with the rest after I’ve started to work seriously on my resume and gone to the library to pick up season 2 of Remington Steele (my entertainment while drafting the ol’ resume).
Hi everyone!!!
GT
Oh, I don’t expect her to understand right away; I’m not that naive.
I also realize that once she is at college, we’ve essentially lost day to day oversight. I won’t say control, because before last night, even she would have said that we have been fairly permissive.
I did put the ball in her court last night, with essentially the words you used. She was too angry to deal with it though.
The hubby just called. My daughter, who never swears, and winces when we do, dropped several F bombs on him today. She is still angry and belligerent. So, I get to go home to this lovely mess. I have to try to talk with her again. Threats were passed, again, between the two of them. At this point, my husband is so angry, he doesn’t even want her there. I’m just sick to my stomach.
Oh! Sorry for the double-post, but I did receive a call from the school. Her counselor is going to pull her from class tomorrow and give her a chance to talk. I laid it alll out.
Yeah, I think I was feeling odd because I felt something was being concealed from me. I don’t like it. Not. One. Little.Bit.
Pugsy, I’m sorry to hear about all you’re dealing with. Hugs to you.
{{{{{Taters}}}}}
Taters -is your husband her father? If so, I would discount all she says. If not, I would still discount about 95% of what she says-especially if they’ve had a good relationship in the past.
Be prepared–her appt with the counselor will also not be appreciated by her.
It’s tough-but I wish I had had parents who had given a damn about me when I was that age. With two chronically ill sisters, I wasn’t allowed to express any needs at all-I’m just lucky I didn’t end up pregnant or on drugs…(sorry, guess that wasn’t too reassuring!) I think she’ll be fine after this, really. But it’s hell to go through.
(((Taters)))
Puggy dear, you hang in there, too.
It’s getting bad then, huh? I had perfectly good reason to rebel and still only swore directly once. Wow, this is a toughie.
A suggestion. Is there an aunt or something that she is close to? If the aunt approaches her right, not lecturing, maybe there’s a way she’ll talk a little more without being angry. I know you said counselor but I never would have shared anything with an outsider.
Also, what exactly is she saying? “I want to move out and move in with him during college?” Who does she expect to pay for all this?
You have to tread carefully because the way she is she may decide she doesn’t in fact want you in her life. And you’ll all regret that. It seems like you’re a loving family.
Right now it’s going to be difficult anyway. How do the angry situations come up over and over anyway? Does your husband start in on her or does she start herself? Does she go straight to mad? Even though my parents weren’t good parents I couldn’t stand to have them mad at me for long, and you sound like loving good parents. Any chance she’ll come around if left alone for a while? She’s not going off to college this minute, is she? Can you let her sulk for a few days until she’s willing to talk?
Bringing it up over and over with her will only set her more firmly where she is. I’m 31 and I still feel like that when someone nags at me. 
Please keep us posted.
Hello, all. Been a long day. I had “Asian Americans and the Legacies of War” for three hours straight. It was actually very interesting, although since today was the first day most of the stuff we covered was material I’d already read. It never ceases to shock me, though, how many atrocities the US government has committed and which stay completely out of most mainstream textbooks. (To be fair, Korean textbooks never say anything about Korean atrocities either.) We watched a 30 min documentary about the US colonization in the Phillippines - something that took place only 100 years ago. We read about a case where a man pushed a 19-year-old Chinese-American girl onto the subway tracks and then got off by pleading insanity - “phobia of Asians,” they called it. Hm, sounds a lot like, I dunno, RACISM to me. And this was in the 1980s. No use dwelling on past wrongs but still, it’s a bit depressing.
Taters, I’m sorry to hear about your troubles with your daughter. I still remember vividly myself at that age and I thank the gods that my parents cared about me enough to endure my tantrums and foolishness and push me in the right direction. I agree it might go better if she talked to a close relative or someone at school - at that age I was convinced my parents were simply unable to see me as an adult and disagreed with them on principle.
Shall I make Rice Krispie treats tonight? I think I shall. Once I finish up my resume for my “Teaching in the Community College” course. It’s actually ending up to be longer than I expected. I knew those hours of teaching spoiled brats would come in handy eventually.
Holy crapola. I hate surprises, particularly unpleasant ones.
Bill Duncan passed away – 6 years ago. Yeah, I know. “Who the hell is Bill Duncan?” I’d be surprised if anyone had heard of him. He was a music producer, owned and operated G. William Music Production out of Cleaveland, OH. I’d never have known anything about him were it not for a chance chat encounter on Compuserve in the early 90s, years before it turned into an ISP. We got to talking about music (naturally for him; I had only just started writing music, then in the 4-track MOD world) He was talking about a band he was producing called Exotic Birds along with a splinter industrial act they were involved in called Kollaps. Somehow we got to talking on the phone – with fair regularity, and he was a genuinely great guy to talk to, loved music with a passion and loved to chat with kindred spirits. He sent me a cassette of Exotic Birds (Equilibrium, on his Pleasureland Records label, before it was re-released by Alpha International) and a demo tape of Kollaps and some postcard-sized lithographs of works by the artist who did the cover art for EB’s Equilibrium album. I loved both bands, and still have both cassettes (I have yet to rip it to put on my iPod, but I’m going to as soon as I get a suitable cassette player with which to do so).
Unfortunately, certain circumstances, including a forced move to new accommodations, loss of my Compuserve account and losing his number, caused us to fall out of touch. Years passed. For some reason today I thought about ripping that cassette, and decided to search for Exotic Birds to see if I could come up with anything. I found the above-linked Wiki entry (and in the process learned some interesting things about EB that I didn’t know, such as both Trent Reznor and Chris Vrenna, both of Nine Inch Nails being part of the band once) and not much else. On a whim a few minutes ago I decided to see if Bill and G. William were still around, maybe get back in touch. I found his website, but unfortunately all it featured was this bit of sad news. Google also provided remnants of his old website, which included this list of credits and awards.
Damn. That sucks. He was a truly awesome guy, and he wasn’t even that old. Although it’s been six years, it’s news to me, so here’s one more person who’s gonna miss you anew.
Home from a very long day. I did have lots of coffee today (as per usual) but I don’t think it helped. All the office Christmas decorations are down, my supervisor wants them all put away by Friday so she can put up all the Valentine’s stuff. :rolleyes:
::taking notes as I read::
I’ve yet to see House
swampy - I thought you were all through with mopheads and wiiiirrre haaaannnnggggerrrrs
“quince vodka”?
I’m not a fan of the pepper part of stuffed peppers, but I love the filling. My aunt used to make the best stuffed cabbage - russian style with raisins - her mother’s recipe
'mika - good or bad (I sincerely hope it’s not bad) if the thing with your eye truly is a new phenomenon, ask the doc to name it after you
bobbio - Woo AND Hoo! If you have any $$ leftover, could you buy me a new microwave? mine makes the saddest little noises…
Only if we can all fit in it at the same time.
again, I say: “quince vodka”?
{{{taters}}} - everything is the end of the world when you’re 17, and if this is her first “serious” relationship, then anything anyone says that is contrary to what she wants to hear will be met with resentment. It won’t matter if it comes from a family member or a school counselor. If the couselor is reasonably intelligent, s/he will take the concerned parent’s POV, and your daughter will accuse her/him of being in cohoots with you. In a few years, maybe sooner (maybe when she meets a boy her own age that she clicks with) she will realize how out of control she was. In the meantime, hugs to you and Mr Taters.
My nice little tenant has agreed to collect my mail and feed and watch Smokey when I go in for my knee surgeries and rehab in a few months.
It is now my bedtime. G’night all
I am utterly exhausted. Before I came home, the daughter and hubby had another to-do. First he told her that she had lost all privileges, could not leave the house, and then told her he wanted her out. He told her that perhaps she could live with my mother or his mother. Greeeeaaaaaaaat. 
I cannot allow this to happen. I can’t see my family split up over this.
**Rigs, ** my hubby is the father of both my children.
The reason it is so painful is exactly because they’ve had a good relationship in the past. Oh, there were the tantrums, slammed doors, etc, but nothing of this scale. Although my daughter has much of me in her, she argues exactly like her father and this is why their arguments are bad.
My daughter is only a junior in high school Meeks, so it’s not like she’s going to college right away. However, we had really hoped that she would choose an in state school so that we wouldn’t have as large a financial burden. We’ll do whatever it takes to get her to school, but I don’t want to go broke doing it. In fact, had she chosen to attend another out of state school, we probably wouldn’t have blinked…much. However, she wants to live with this guy and attend college where he lives. She’s already been checking out the curriculum there.
I told her about the appointment with counselor, and as I expected, she wasn’t overly thrilled. However, I pointed out that this person would be a neutral third party that may offer some perspectives that none of us had thought of and may be able to help us get through this together. I also pointed out that she wouldn’t have to worry about hurting one of us and could speak more freely because we wouldn’t be there. After much eye rolling and saying “Maybe”, she finally agreed it might do some good.
I also told her that we all need to sit down tomorrow when I get home from work and talk calmly and rationally about some compromises.
My hubby has cut her off from the computer completely, and she really does need it for homework. She is also cut off from the phone. So, basically, he’s totally isolated her and that’s not a good thing. He’s done it because he’s at his wits end.
So, I proposed to her that we take “baby steps” to earning back privileges. I said first and foremost, we need to get her puter access so she can do her homework. Next, she could work her way up to contacting her LOCAL friends. I told her the boyfriend is not even up for discussion. It’s too soon and will only rip everything apart again.
She told me she feels like my husband is making her choose between us and the boyfriend. I gently told her that wasn’t true; that in fact, we felt like she was choosing him over us. When she’s an well and truly an adult and has a SO, it will be expected and understood that the SO will come first. But, right now, the family comes first. She also told me that we are discounting her feelings and taking into account only our feelings. So not true. Right now it’s lose-lose.
Of course, I now need to discuss all this with my husband. He was totally exhausted too and went to bed about 7:00 this evening. I don’t want to wake him because he went to work today with no sleep. This is not a good thing. He drives a semi for a living and needs to be vigilant at all times. Especially tomorrow, because we’re expecting ice and snow, again. You Northeasterners need to take your dang winter back.
Anyway, I think we’re in for a long slog. I expect that my husband may balk on some of the proposals I’ve made. I really, really hope not because I can’t live this way. I can’t stand to see two of three people I love most in this world hurting so much and hurting each other so much. My heart actually hurts right now. I foresee weight loss. That’s how I react to bad stress. I really need to lose weight, but this isn’t the way to do it.